It was a typical Monday drive to work today. I got behind the drivers doing 5 miles under the speed limit and I hit every red light. It was like every time I got a block ahead, I had to slow down or stop. For the past few days, I've just been cranky. This was not a good start to the day.
About 5 minutes outside of work, I made a green light. I did a little happy dance because maybe my luck was changing.
Nope, at the next light, a block away, I got stuck for 5 minutes. I've never seen these lights so off before and I was literally getting more and more agitated the longer it took.
I finally made it into downtown, only to have three cars in front of me, going less than the speed limit.
Just when I was ready to scream, I saw the car, three cars in front of me, get into an accident. The driver in the lane next to him made an illegal turn and the driver in my lane T-boned him.
It was in that moment that God loudly spoke to me, "I am watching over you every second."
In my normal morning commute, I'm usually in that front car spot. I'm usually not held up like I was today. Despite my crankiness, God was watching over me.
I'm trying to process much of what life is throwing at us and I'm failing at it. I know God has His hand in our life and I know He's guiding our steps. However, sometimes I can't see any part of His plan. My limited understanding makes me feel uneasy. I know most people would say that God is trying to teach me patience. I really feel He's trying to teach me faith. To fully rely on His power, His understanding, His plan.
I am learning to let go. Let go of my expectations. Let go of my desires. Let go of my hopes. I'm needing to rest all of these things in His hands.
Today I thank God for the slow drivers and the red lights. It was His way of showing me to let go.
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