Bare

Over the last several weeks I’ve been experiencing destruction.  Every thought, hope, dream, and desire has been stripped away.  I’ve been laid bare.  As I’ve tried to sort through all the emotions, I keep coming back to one:  grief.

What I have found interesting is that the meaning of grief not only applies to loss, such as death, but also a heavy burden.  The Greek word in the Bible is lupeo.  This means to affect with sadness or to throw into sorrow.  That’s where I’ve been.  The joy of life and the hope of the future vanished and instead, I’ve been thrown into sorrow. 

It’s been a season of many tears, even more unknowns and time on my knees asking God to show me His plan and purpose in this. 

Then I read from my devotion:

Pulling down strongholds is the demolition and removal of these old ways of thinking so that the actual Presence of Jesus Christ can be manifested through us.¹

All of my hopes and dreams have been good, but they are mine.  They are what I desired, not what He desires for us.  They have been a stronghold in my life of keeping me from fully relying on Christ for our future. 

Then I read this:

…repentance precedes deliverance, and deliverance often leads to healing in other areas.¹ 

As I was sitting in church yesterday and our pastor said that we are to confess our sins and then worship, the first naturally progresses to the second. 

Sometimes it’s as though God is speaking directly to me.  He is very clearly demolishing strongholds and leading me to repentance.

Despite all of this, one thing has remained:  peace. 

I’m sitting here today broken, bare and without a thought.  Yet, for the first time in months, I have hope for the future.  Not because I have any expectations, rather a peace that the future is His and a hope that He will deliver me.

¹ “The Three Battlegrounds” by Francis Frangipane

Do not challenge her...

Each night at dinner, Zoe prays.  It started out years ago when she would only do it every so often.  Now she asks to do it.  Even if we do some kind of random game and the last person has to pray, she will rig the game so she's the last one.  I love that she loves to pray.  It warms this momma's heart.

Sunday at dinner, N tried teasing her and said he was the last one to do the game, so it was his turn to pray.  Zoe gave him the stink eye, which involves making her eyes bigger and staring at you.  So N stared back.  As they were doing the stare-down, Zoe says, "Dear God, thank you..."

She started her prayer.  It wasn't until N looked down, that Zoe did too.

This girl is fierce about praying for our meals.  She has an equally fierce wit because this will go down in the memory banks for years to come.  We could barely contain our laughter.

Mythbusters

God has laid something on my heart and I feel compelled to write it down.  Not because someone else needs to see it, but because I’m positive there is going to come a time where I will need the reminder.  As a Christian it is easy to be deceived about what is truth and what isn’t.  Typically in every lie there is a morsel of truth.

I recently read an article from a woman who had lost her child.  She said, “I’ve heard it said that God will not give us more than we can handle, but this is more that I can handle.”  She went on about not being sure she believes in God.

The truth is, no where in the Bible does it say that God will not give us more than we can handle.  We may have temptations that won’t be more than we can handle, but He promises to always give us a way out (1 Corinthians 10:3).  However, there is no promise that says God will not give us circumstances beyond what we can handle. 

I know people who are dealing with all kinds of tragedies – infertility, loss of a child or loved one, addiction, adultery, health issues, bankruptcy, legal issues, divorce, etc.  I could fill this whole blog with a list of things people are dealing with.  These are good people in the midst of terrible circumstances.  Each of these things is part and parcel with life on earth.  Life is hard.  Life isn’t fair.  The reality is, who can handle those circumstances?  The problem with this lie is that it says, “if you can’t handle this, there is something wrong with you.  You have done something to bring this on yourself because God wouldn’t give you more than you can handle.” 

I have been angry with God and upset with my circumstances.  They are, without reservation, more than I can handle.  I’ve had issues with resentment toward God over things in my life that are hard and unfair.  God didn’t stop those things.  In fact, if I’m honest, I am still dealing with them this morning and I don’t understand why it has to be so hard or why I have to deal with it.  I have my moments where I yell at God, tell Him how angry I am and stomp my foot and beat on His chest about the unfairness. 

Whether we like to admit it or not, God doesn’t want the façade we put on for everyone else.  He wants me, in all my anger and resentment to come to Him and tell Him how I feel.  He wants me to scream and carry on and tell Him how upset and hurt I am.  It’s like with any relationship, the more barriers I put up to the real me, the more superficial that relationship becomes.  God doesn’t do superficial.  He does tears and snot running down your face and yelling and screaming and carrying on.  He does real.  He does intimate. 

God doesn’t promise to fix an unfair circumstance and He doesn’t promise to not give us more than we can handle.  He promises to be our refuge and strength:

Psalm 46:1 – God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

For those who come to Him, He promises rest:

Matthew 11:28 – Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 

I Peter 5:7 – Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

This life will be struggles, hardships and all things unfair.  I do not have answers as to why.  I know that nothing can separate me from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39), so it isn’t punishment for some past action.  It is life and sometimes there are no answers as to the why. 

I only have answers to the how.  How we get through this is by going to God, giving Him all of our emotions, fears and being real with Him.  He wants our hurts, our worries, our struggles because He cares for us.  If we do that, He promises to be our strength and our refuge.  He promises to give us rest. 

He doesn’t promise to take away our hardships, only to give us the strength to get through them.  He will certainly give me circumstances that are more than I can handle on my own.  He isn’t the God who will dole out circumstances and see how we do.  His promise is to be my strength, my refuge and to give me rest.  He is my ever-present help.