A New Phase

This week was a big week for our house.  N had a huge exam at work.  We're talking a possible career ending exam.

Through the US Army Corps of Engineers, he's in an apprenticeship program.  That means he has 28 months to pass 8 phases of the program.  At the end of that time, he'll have the equivalent to a Bachelor's degree in hydro-electric power.  It's not an easy program. 

At the end of each phase he has to test out of it.  If he fails so many of these phase exams, he's released from employment.  The first phase he passed last summer before returning to school.  It was Dam 101 and he passed with flying color.  This second phase has been a concern.  It included basic electrical theory.  N is a hands-on, practical learner.  There's no way to get his hands on electricity to fully understand it.  Mainly because if he did put his hands on electricity, it's highly likely that he wouldn't remember a thing!  We've committed this phase to prayer since he returned in July.

I'm so pleased to announce that he passed his phase exam yesterday.  It was such a relief and a HUGE answer to prayer.  Not necessarily because of how hard the material was, but because it gave N the confidence he needs to know that this is where God has him.  The reason is because it's where N is going to shine. 

Zoe and I are so proud of him.  I know this was a stressful test, but we couldn't be more excited for N.  Seeing him succeed makes all this distance between us worth it.  Last night at the store Zoe wanted to buy him a present for passing his big test.  I love how she loves N.  It's with everything she has.  His success are ours as well.

N,

We are so proud of you.  Not just for passing this test, but for overcoming your fears and pushing through with the electrical theory.  We always knew you could do it! 

Love you,
Kelly and Zoe

One Out Of Two Ain't Bad

Since Christmas is coming, it's time for programs, programs, programs!  There is nothing Zoe likes more than standing on a stage entertaining the masses.  Give that girl a microphone and she will provide you with hours of entertainment. 

If Daddy is home, that also means there will be a music video.  He gets the video camera, she gets all primped and ready, he says "action" and her made-up song is recorded for play back immediately!  Even now when she watches them, Zoe will say, "I loved that song.  It was one of my favorites that I made up.  I'll have to perform it for my talent show."  Apparently she's rounding up kids for her talent show in the summer.  One of her friends mentioned he can pick up his baby sister all by himself and Zoe invited him to the talent show, because that is awesome and amazing!

You can imagine our excitement for Christmas program time because 1) she's a performer and 2) you never know exactly what you're going to get from Zoe.  We found out the she got to be Mary in her Pre-K program.  It was the coveted spot because 1) it put her in the front row and 2) she's Baby Jesus's mommy...there's only one of those!  Her Pre-K class has 26 children.  There are 4 teachers and they do an amazing job with these kids.  We were curious to see how they would do the Christmas story with so many children.  It was adorable.

They had three kids be camels, 6 angels, three wise men, three shepherds, 4 sheep, 4 birthday kids, 1 star, Joseph and Mary.  They sang a song about Mary holding Jesus and Zoe had to pick up the baby doll, cradle him and rock him.  In very-un-Zoe-like fashion, she never cracked a smile.  Apparently she was in character.  Once the Mary headpiece came off, she was all smiles. 

Afterward, we had birthday cake for Jesus.  Zoe took her cake, sat next to her friend Michael and said, "so how's your day?"  Michael just looked at her like, "we're having the same day, it's good."  She makes me proud.

Sunday was the Sunday School program at church.  We've been practicing "Come On Ring Those Bells" and "Joy to the World" for a few weeks.  She was very excited to be front row again, but with jingle bells this time!  N and I were sitting in the foyer watching them practice when her teacher brought her out.  For the first time in years, she looked scary.  She had no color at all.  Her lips were the same ashen color as her cheeks.  As soon as I held her, she turned into a ragdoll.  Talk about freaking mommy out.

I know that look.  We made it to the bathroom just in time.  She just wanted to go home.  We did, she slept and woke up as a new woman.  We missed singing in the Sunday School program, but I don't think she minded it.  She was ready to play some Wii as soon as she woke up, so I think our girl is back.

I'm positive that since she missed her chance to sing in church, we'll be making some music videos of her new tracks tonight.

Christmas Came Early

Yesterday was a day that we've been waiting for.  It marked many milestones:  health, arrival and 10 pounds, 6 ounces of more to love.

Our sister Amanda gave birth to twins yesterday.  Aren't they all precious?

Zoe and I have had a countdown to mark December 14th for awhile.  We've had updates and much prayer.  These babies are so loved.  Zoe and I are ready to hop on a plane to Texas to shower these bundles with love.  Zoe is quite certain that she'll play with H-J and help feed the twins because Aunt Mandy only has two hands and she's going to need some help!

I'm sure that Aunt Mandy and Uncle Brian would like us to visit in about 6 weeks, after mom leaves and the routine starts.  Not to mention, after cold and flu season has passed our house!  That's when we'll get the most holding and smooching time!

Mandy and Brian,

Congratulations on your newest girls.  Having three girls is the most rewarding thing you will ever experience.  We have loved all your girls from the moment we found out about them.  We thank God that He brought all three of you through this pregnancy and that you're all healthy and perfect. 

We are counting down the days until we can come there, shower you all with love and spoil all your girls rotten.  We love them as our own and thank God for you both.  You are amazing parents and I know God has His perfect plan for your family.  We are excited to walk this journey with you.  Give all your girls kisses and hugs for us. 

Love all 5 of you to pieces.

N and Kelly

Sometimes She Makes Me Laugh Until I Snort

The age 4 is one of my all-time favorite ages.  It just so happens that's Zoe's age.  I'm not sure if her humor is growing at the same pace as her legs, but it sure seems to.  For the last week, she's done something that makes me laugh until I snort.  Here are a few excerpts:

While cutting her bangs:

M:  Please sit still.  If you keep moving while I'm cutting I'll take a big chunk of hair out. 
Z:  *wiggles and itches*
M: Here's the deal, if you have to move or itch or whatever, let me know and I'll stop cutting.
Z:  (in all seriousness) Mommy, can I still toot?

Commenting on her new underwear

Grandma:  What kind do you want to wear today, Hello Kitty or Tinkerbell?
Z:  Hello Kitty please!
Grandma:  *pulls out the new underwear*
Z:  Really?  Those are huge!

Eating dinner at a restaurant

Z:  *whining* I just want my ice cream, RIGHT NOW!
M:  Zoe, that's not how we talk.  If you can't be nice and patient, we can leave before your ice cream comes.
Z:  Yes, sir!  *puts her hand up to her forehead and salutes me*
M:  Zoe, we don't talk like that.
Z:  Yes, sir! *put her hand up to her forehead and salutes me totally oblivious to the fact that little action is what I'm referencing*

The Story of Mary

On Monday Zoe came out of school and told Grandma that she was going to be Mary in the Christmas program, we needed to make a costume and work on her lines.

In the next breath she said that another girl in class was going to be Mary and that Zoe had to be an angel instead and she didn't want to be an angel!  She wasn't going to do the play unless she could be Mary.  Imagine her folding her arms across her chest and crying with anger. 

As you can tell, we're a little confused.  That's quite a bit to absorb with just two breahs.  First because nothing came home about costumes or lines or even a skit for the program.  The teachers this year are very organized.  If there were costumes and lines, we'd have been sent home something by now.  Second none of the story Zoe spun involved the teacher.

When questioned about who the director was, she named another student.  Ever since VBS, Zoe has become a director.  She wants to host a talent show for all the kids in her class and she's even recruited them.  A few have asked when it will be.  Bless their hearts, they think it's real.  Probably because the first month of school was all talk about a talent show Zoe was hosting.  Additionally, we also have to reinact all the skits from VBS on a weekly basis.  We watch them all the time.  It's a little unnerving to be doing laundry and to hear your voice coming from the television. 

We get the impression that the skit is the creation of Zoe and her friend, they had a little disagreement and Mary was the coveted role.  This other little girl is quite a bit like Zoe, so I can only imagine how heated this disagreement was between them.

By the end of Monday, we had Zoe convinced that whatever part you get in a play is important and you need to be the best at whatever you are chosen for.  She was ready to be an angel and was going to apologize to the other girl for yelling at her.  I'm so proud of her, the apology portion was completely her thinking.  I'm also a little shocked that a fake play can induce a yelling match in Pre-K.

Since it's highly likely neither girl is going to be Mary because we think this play is pretend, we decided to create a role for our Mary.  Grandma and I are responsible for the 10 minute, pre-funk at AWANA on Wednesday.  We usually sing, play some games and sing more songs.  This week we starting doing Christmas songs since it's after Thanksgiving.  One of the easiest ones for kids to learn is Away In A Manger.  Of course, you need a Mary:

Zoe spent most of the day jumping around, talking in a high-pitched squeal of a voice and telling everyone that today was her day to be Mary...with neon green nail polish.  I'm positive if the authors of the Bible would've been able to tear their eyes away from the baby Jesus, they would've seen that Mary indeed wore neon, green nail polish to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world.  In all honesty, nothing says Christ-child like neon green.

At one point, Zoe dropped Jesus.  She proclaimed, "he didn't even cry, just like the song says!"  She's a character actress.

Mananana, Doo Doo Da DooDoo

We are back in the full swing of things after stuffing ourselves with turkey. We had a very blessed Thanksgiving. Usually we have about 20 people over, stuff ourselves, play games, laugh and then eat some more. We love that.

This year we kept it low key. As in just 4 of us at home for the meal. We didn't have to clean, we didn't have to change out of our sweats and we even went to the movies. Zoe REALLY wanted to see The Muppets. I have a feeling it's because she thinks Miss Piggy is hilarious and because a certain daddy also thinks The Muppets are awesome.

It was a cute movie and a great way to digest. Then we went home, had pie and played some games as a family. While we love the big Thanksgivings with all our people, the little Thanksgiving was exactly what we needed this year.

We were blessed with 4 days together. I even convinced N to go Black Friday shopping with me. He said it was his first experience and his last. He did try and get everyone to sing along to The Muppets song while in line. I'm pleased to report that our shopping for our girls is done. Can I get an amen?

The tree is up, the presents are hidden and we are ready for another 4 days together, celebrating all that we have to be thankful for.  We pray your Thanksgiving was full of turducken, laughter and love.

A Letter To Our Daughters

We have officially entered the teenage years.  Not necessarily with age, but in life stages.  As I talk to our teenager, I see so much of myself in her.  As her step-mom, I worry for her in ways I couldn't predict.  In ways that take me back to junior high and all my insecurities.  If I'm being honest, insecurities that I still struggle with at times.  That has created an intense need on my heart to impart, to all our girls, how important their hearts are.  This letter can easily be addressed to each one of them individually. 

_________________________________________________
Dear beautiful daughter,

I am so honored that God has given you to me.  I am so honored that I get to be part of your life.  As I watch you grow, my heart continues to swell with pride for you.  Each time I see your face I fall more in love with you.  It's an unconditional love.  Nothing you do, no choice you make will ever stop the love I have for you.  Because of you, I now understand the unconditional love that God has for each of us.  I love you with that same intensity. 

Just like you, I make mistakes.  I make poor choices.  As your mom, I will fail you.  However, just like you, I have a Father who accepts me despite my failings.  He will always welcome me with open arms, no matter how many times I turn from Him.  Just like God accepts us, nothing, absolutely nothing, can make me disappointed in you.  I want you to re-read that.  No choice you make, no eye roll at what I say, nothing will make me disappointed in you.

You were created in His image.  He made you perfect and I couldn't agree more with that statement.  He gave you your heart, your personality and your physical appearance.  After He created you, He said, "it is good."  Everything about you, your nose, your eyes, your body, your heart.  "It is good."  It is God's handiwork.  God doesn't make mistakes. 

I know that sometimes that's hard to believe.  I was once a young lady who felt completely inadequate.  I would look in the mirror and see all the things that didn't measure up to the girl on the magazine or the most popular girl at school.  I would cry myself to sleep some nights because I felt so ugly, so inadequate, so different.  I would crush on a cute boy, write my name with his, and will him to like me back.  When he didn't, I would cry myself to sleep and believe the lie that I was unlovable.  I would believe the lie that if I wore a size 2, had the best clothes, wore the right make-up and had the cutest hair, then he would notice me and love me.

I gave my heart to boys who didn't even know it was theirs.  I had my heart broken.  I cried more tears than any of them deserved.

Each of those times I was trying to settle.  God doesn't want me to look like the magazine because that's not how He created me.  God created you with a purpose and God wants our hearts.  He sees what we are on the inside.  Whatever your heart desires will show on your outside. 

Being a size 2 doesn't make you nice, only your heart does that.

Having a boyfriend doesn't make you loved, you were loved by me and God before we even knew you.

Being class president doesn't make you popular, loving people as God loves you will do that.

Crying your eyes out because that cute boy in your second period doesn't notice you, is giving that cute boy more than he deserves of you.

There is absolutely nothing about you that you need to change to be loved.  You are already loved wholly and unconditionally.  Be who you are.  Be who God made you to be.  Value yourself and all that you can offer.  Live the life God has created for you, in this moment, in this second.  Don't worry about your future, it's already written.  If you focus on the future, you'll miss all that God has for you today. 

I can assure you, God has a plan for you.  That plan will include a man.  A good man.  A Godly man.  You will be the girl who holds his heart in your hand. 

He will be attracted to you because of how you value yourself. 

This man will see your heart first and your smile second.

He will laugh with you and wipe away your tears. 

He will protect you. 

He won't be afraid to sing songs in church or in the car with you. 

He'll be equally comfortable at the girly movie you want to see as he is at a superhero movie.

He will love all the quirks you dislike in yourself. 

He will never ask you to change because he loves you just as you are.

This is the man who is worthy of your heart. 

Don't give your heart away for anything less.  Don't settle.  You are worth all of this and so much more.  You are worthy of every blessing God has for you.  You are worthy of being loved for your heart.

This is my prayer for you.  To know your worth, to know you're loved unconditionally, to know that you are created in His image.  This is how I see you.  This is how I will always see you. 

I love you completely.

Tournament Time

Apparently when you're 4, being sick and wanting to lay in bed all day don't mix.  When we watch Caillou, all he wants to do is lay in bed!  Instead of pretending to be Caillou, like I had suggested, Zoe had been planning a tournament.

A baseball tournament.

She's pretty sure that once she's done with soccer (which we're signing up for in the spring), she'll play baseball.  Since soccer will keep her from practicing baseball, she's going to need to get some time in now.  She was 100% certain I was going to grab my mitt, put on some gloves and scarves and go outside to play some baseball.

She was very disappointed in the cold temps and the dark skies. They are really thwarting her baseball career.  Which is a feat in itself since we don't particularly watch baseball nor do we practice baseball often.  In fact I have a mitt from my younger days when I thought softball sounded like fun.  I'm pretty sure that lasted exactly 2.2 seconds.  I'm not entirely sure where this desire to play is coming from, but when it calls, Zoe must answer.

Because my softball career ended when I was 12, I offered to play in a Wii baseball tournament.  Fortunately Zoe thought that idea was "perfect."  We had to find some baseball hats.  Of course she has a Dora one and I found daddy's. 

We snapped some team pictures and were ready to play.

I'm actually better at Wii baseball than I am at real-life softball.  I think I should be making the major Wii league next season.  I won 1-0.  Mainly because Zoe only likes to pitch and I get to do all the batting.  I got one homerun and it was unfortunately for my team.

Because baseball is really hard, Zoe decided to have a Tri-Tourney.  We did some boxing and some tennis.  She totally knocked me out and then jumped around me during the boxing match.  Her level of excitement for knocking me out is a little scary.  I kept waiting for her to yell "take that mamma!" or "in your face mamma," but fortunately that didn't come.  It was close.

During tennis I'm not entirely sure how she moves the remote to serve the ball, but it comes at lightening speed.  I wasn't even trying to lose, but I did.

For the rest of the night, the girl with the cold, jumped around talking about her BIG win at the tournament today. 

All I have to say is she better watch out.  When she goes to bed at night, I'm practicing tennis to see how she moves her remote to serve like that.  Then it's time to challenge N to some tennis. 

My People

I'm not sure if this is true for you, but there are times, moments actually, that leave me overwhelmed.  I look at N and at our girls and realize just how blessed I am.  There was a time I thought I would never be loved and yet, I have more love that I can adequately describe.  Ten years ago this isn't how my life looked in my mind's eye.  I'm not one to usually enjoy being wrong, but I am this time.

Zoe and I traveled down to Oregon this weekend to spend time with N.  Our weekend consisted of going to the Fish Viewing Room and watching salmon try to swim upstream...twice, running to The Wal-Marts for some essentials, making homemade meals and playing loads of things.  Zoe's favorite this weekend was reinacting The Little Mermaid.  I've got to say, I'm totally impressed with N's interpretation of Ursula. 

While we were in Oregon, Zoe came down with a cold.  Nothing too terrible...until last night.  There was much coughing and hacking.  I held her for a bit to try and get everything to calm down and to prop her up.  As she snuggled into me, she made her noises.  As she did that, it took me back to a time when she was a new infant.  She would make noises all night long as a baby.  We're not talking little coos, we're talking loud moans and "HUH" with every exhale.  There is a noise with each inhale and exhale.  It's constant.  I've heard from other parents whose children were in the NICU, they did the same thing upon coming home.  Because Zoe's issue was that she couldn't remember to breathe, I welcomed all the noise.  She had a tendency to turn blue when she slept and I could at least catch a few winks if I could hear her noise in the background.

There was a time, around 6 months, that I wondered if she would ever grow out of all.the.noise!  Now that seems like a distant memory.

Until last night. 

As I held her and stroked her hair, she started to relax and make her noises.  I found that same peace I did, as a new mother.  A peace that again shows me just how glad I am that my life isn't anything I could've imagined.

How to Give Your Husband Indigestion aka A Really Great Prank

One of N's favorite things in the entire world is his motorcycle.  We purchased it shortly after N got out of the military.  Because times were hard, N was having to work 2 jobs:  one as a mechanical assembler and one as a motorcylce assembler.  The job at the motorcycle shop wasn't the best environment to be in, but it did give him some practical knowledge and some hands-on time with motorcycles.  Because he was an employee, he got a very nice discount.  When he saw the lime green Kawasaki Vulcan 900 custom come through the shop, he felt it call to him.

I truly believe that when he can ride this beauty to and from work everyday, he's a happier man. 

The move to Umatilla has been hard for N for many reasons.  All our stuff is there, but all our family isn't.  Yes, The Kawi is part of the family.  It couldn't make the move in September, so it's been sitting in a garage, unridden.  That, my friends, is a crime. 

After a couple months of trying to figure out how to move The Kawi down to Umatilla, N figured it out.  Two, very dear friends from church offered their equipment for us to use.  Dave is letting us borrow his trailer and Shawn is letting us borrow his new truck.  Read that sentence again...Shawn just bought this truck less than a month ago and is letting us borrow it.  I think he and N have a bromance, for which I'm entirely grateful.  All men need a good bromance to eat weird, greasy food, talk shop and get Godly advice about their women.

The problem is, N is in Umatilla and my mom and I had to get this loaded up.  Enter friend #3, Jaret.  He came over after work to help load the bike.  For a brief moment during the loading, he had to take a phone call.  Enter Kelly...the prankster.  I'm not sure if it's because I know how important The Kawi is to N or if I know no limits when it comes to a good laugh.  Here's the set up:

The truck is parked in the driveway, the trailer is strapped up and ramped up ready to go, The Kawi is positioned to be loaded and Jaret is distracted.  I sit on the bike, take this picture:



and send a text to N that reads:  Do I just drive it straight in?  Jaret had to go home.

Then my mom and I counted to see exactly how long it would take to get a call.  She guessed 10 seconds and I guessed 15.  I was right.  Apparently he couldn't see straight to dial.

This was the conversation:

N: Are you serious?

K: Yes, there was something wrong with the baby.  The trailer's loaded, but I just don't know what exactly I need to do.  Can you walk me through it?

N: I'm calling JJ.  He can be there in 20 minutes.  Did Jaret really have to leave?

K:  No!  bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha (that's my evil laugh)

N then complained of the worst heartburn he's ever experienced. 

All in all, The Kawi got loaded with exactly 1/4 inch to spare.  Isn't God good?  We are headed down to Umatilla today to deliver The Kawi and spend some time with N. 

I'm going to laugh about this little incident for the entire 3 hour drive. 

The Exploding Pineapple

Last November N, Zoe and I went to the great state of Texas to visit our family for Thanksgiving.  Also, not to mention, it was Zoe's and my first time there and we were introduced to Chick-fil-A.  I don't think I really need to say more than that, unless you've never had it.  Almost 365 days later, I still have cravings.  Sometimes they are so strong, the plane ticket to Texas doesn't seem too bad. 

That Chick-fil-A sauce can sure sidetrack me.  While we were there, Aunt DeeDee was gracious enough to drive me to a quilt store in north Austin.  Honey Bee Quilt Store was absolutely darling.  If I had been in town for another couple weeks, I would've definitely signed up for their Mariner Star quilt class.  So hard, but so beautiful. 

While at Honey Bee, I found a fabric that spoke to my heart.  It was Grease fabric.  If you know me, you'll know that has been one of my favorite movies since I was 4.  I know all the lines, know all the songs and even have the soundtrack on record.  When I was younger and my mom would have game nights, they'd usually play Trivial Pursuit.  Because I was too young to play that game, she would change all the questions to Grease questions for me.  Bless her heart.

It was hot pink, black and white.  I had zero idea what I was going to do with Grease fabric, but I knew I had to have it, much like Cha-Cha had to win that dance contest on national television. 

I figured I'd make a table runner and pull it out when I was feeling sassy.  Then I went to the Washington State Quilt Show and saw the Exploding Pineapple quilt.  My Grease fabric began to speak to me.  This is the result:

It's wild, bright and a total departure for me.  I LOVE it.  I have zero idea what I'm going to do with it.  N is a little paranoid that I'm going to want to hang it in our living room or something.  It still needs a couple borders and to be finished, but I think it's super fun.  Just looking at it makes me smile. 

I'm a Chore Chart Novice

A couple months ago grandma bought Zoe a small, dry erase board.  It sticks to the fridge and is the perfect place for Zoe's chore chart.  Each day grandma puts things on there for Zoe to do.  Zoe eats it up.  She's so much like me in that department.  She LOVES lists and LOVES crossing things off.

Because she can't read too well, everything is written and there are pictures so she knows what it says.

A typical day includes:

Feed Toby
Feed Coco
Eat a banana
Do your homework
Set the table for dinner

It's been awesome to see her doing all the things with joy and excitement.  Especially when it involves cleaning or putting things away. 

On Wednesdays both Zoe and Grandma get to sleep in a bit.  That means Zoe doesn't have a chore chart right when she wakes up like she does when grandma is up early for work.  Yesterday Zoe informed me that I needed to make her a chore chart.  She had no less than 609 different ideas of what I could put on there.

This morning that's what I did.  Because it's a school morning, I focused on the things that she'd need to do to get ready for school.  Here's her chart:

Zoe's Chores

Eat breakfast (a picture of a fork, spoon and cup)
Go potty (picture of a toilet - which I'm pretty proud of, it turned out well)
Get dressed (picture of pants and a shirt)
Find your backpack (picture of a backpack)
Go to school (picture of a school/house)

I get a call from Zoe this morning exactly 2.3 minutes after she wakes up.  She's got some problems with her chart.  They are:

1) She doesn't have an "S" on the end of her name.  DUH!  There is apparently only one of her, not several, so you can't put an "S" there.  I didn't have the energy to explain possessives to her since this was obviously the first of many problems.

2) It doesn't mention feeding Toby.  Is he just supposed to starve today?

3) It also doesn't mention feeding Coco the fish either.  She apparently told me all about needing to put that on the chart yesterday.  Is Coco going to starve too?  OR worse, did I feed Coco?  Because that's her chore!

4) She likes the toilet picture.  She's going to do that specific chore first.  It should be at the top!

In terms of Chore Chart 101, I'm flunking out.  If it was Chore Chart Art 101, I'm doing fabulous. 

It Was Like Pixie Hollow in Winter

Halloween in these parts is usually cold.  It's always a good idea to have an outfit that can either provide the same warmth you'd need in Antarctica or one that would fit over your parka.  For our costumed race last Saturday, Zoe picked a costume that would provide her a level of warmth:  a pink m&m.  She was adorable. 

However, that was just her race costume, it was not her Halloween costume.  She wanted to be Tinkerbell.  She had a costume already, so it was just a matter of finding a way to keep her warm.  We put on a long-sleeved shirt, her dance tights that are extra thick and then her costume. 

She got chilled just lighting the pumpkins. 

We had to pull out the coat, mittens and blanket.  We usually grab the stroller because about 1/4 of the block from grandma's house, she prefers to be carried.  This way, we can bundle her up, keep her toasty and still snag some candy.

After exactly 10 houses, she was done.  She no longer wanted to trick-or-treat, she wanted to go home and eat!

She's a fairy after my own heart.

She's Pulling All Her Resources

The new thing in our house is showers.  We recently installed a removable shower head in Zoe's bathroom and the girl can't get enough.  She loves to finger paint the walls and then wash it off with the shower head.  She also loves to wash her own hair. 

Yesterday she took a shower and we were rinsing her hair and she started screaming that she got water in her ears.  Both of them!

She tilted her head to see if it would come out.  When it didn't, she start smacking the side of her face that was facing up hoping that would help.  No such luck.

She asked me if her hands still had soap on them.  I told her no.  She put her finger in her mouth and started to blow, but it didn't do anything but make her ears pop.

She looked at me with all seriousness, "it worked for Dopey in Snow White!" 

Gettin' Dressed Up

Last night was the Harvest Festival at our church.  I was the lucky one who ran the Bounce Castle.  It's amazing to see how kids change as they get older as it relates to the Bounce Castle.  The little ones took their spot, bounced in a general area and most of them were ready to be done after their 5 minutes were up.  There was no going into each other's spaces.  No touching, unless there was a rouge bounce.  It's was all very controlled.

The older girls loved to bounce around, have contests on who can jump the highest and want to show you everything they can do.

The older boys should have some sort of accidental death and dismemberment insurance before entering the Bounce Castle. 

It's funny, in just a few short years those very nice, mannered, young boys who don't like to bounce in each other's space will be having WWF-like battles in the Bounce Castle arena. 

I was a little worried about last night.  We don't let the kids wear anything that is gory, etc.  E was mentioning how she wanted to be a princess vampire.  I'm not too keen on those types of costumes.  I know I sound hypocritical since I love the Twilight novels, but still...

I was elated when she showed up as a butterfly.  Zoe was Tinkerbell.  They were adorable.

Wordless Wednesday: The Best Part of My Day

Sunday Morning Routine

Every Sunday, before church, I run through Starbucks to get N a mocha and something for me.  It's our weekly routine. 

Usually Zoe gets a water because she doesn't drink anything else.  Lately she's been branching out and she likes a chocolate chip frappacino that doesn't contain coffee, but does contain actual chocolate chips.  To a 4-year old, that's heaven in a cup.

Yesterday morning, Zoe woke up, got out of bed, snuggled with me for 1.5 seconds and informed me, "it's a mocha day mommy.  I really need one this morning!"

Shocked

Given what I know about life, which isn’t much, I am surprised every day. Some days it’s that Zoe can recite a Bible verse that she heard once a year ago like she just learned it today. Some days it’s that Toby will actually lay on the floor like a real dog rather than requiring his bed, like the high-maintenance dog that he is. Some days it’s N, who sends me a sweet text that makes me whole day brighter.

I’m constantly amazed by the people in my life and, at times, strangers. This can also go in the other direction, where people lack social graces and common sense, but I’m feeling very “glass is half full today” and don’t want to ruin that.

Rewind to Sunday. We had to run some errands at the mall. Usually we have to do three things at the mall with Zoe:

1. Get a pretzel. It’s a MUST that we get one of these, with cheese dip because walking the mall is so exhausting. In reality, she does need to keep her strength up for the other two things we MUST do.

2. Visit Bark Ave. It’s a pet store in the mall with dogs. Little dogs that look like a chew toy next to Toby. They also go for a minimum of $425, but most are $800 or so. We spend a good 20 minutes looking at the dogs, oohing and aahing over them and then leave with a sad girl who just wants one!

3. Playing at the play structure. It’s my go-to bribe for the lack of dog. Plus it wears her out, I can sit and watch and we’re all happy when we leave.

Of course we went to get a pretzel after we did some shopping for N. On the way to the pretzel place, we got very sad. The dog store is gone. As in, it’s as though it never existed. For all I know, it’s been gone for a year because I try to avoid the mall at all costs. Oh how the junior high me would grieve right now.

We got our pretzel and decided to walk over to Kohl’s since I needed some things. The play structure is outside Kohl’s on the main level. We decided to walk on the upper level to avoid Zoe seeing the play structure. Outside Kohl’s on the upper level is a new pet store. I use the term “pet” very loosely. None of these are pets to me. They are the things of nightmares. If one is in my house or garage, I will not inhabit said house until it is removed.

Of course I’m talking about snakes or, as the store referred to them, “reptiles.” Apparently they aren’t just selling snakes, they have lizards too. Meat-eating lizards. It’s not that this is in the mall, but the whole store front is a BIG cage for these reptiles. Mainly their prized reptiles. Just being within 10 yards of this store, my skin goes cold and I have a physical reaction. I’m not terrified of many things, but reptiles are at the top of my list.

Truthfully, they just freak me out. I can’t even look at pictures of reptiles without feeling something physical. Actually it’s more of a “WARNING! Danger! Run away!” I don’t know what it is either. I’ve never really come in contact with one, except on a high school trip. I’ll save that story for another day. It involves N killing a rattlesnake and keeping the rattler. I found the rattler after we were married, 13 years later in a Bubble Tape container. To say I almost sharted myself would be an understatement.

Back to the mall...typically Zoe will take a wide birth around this store. She isn’t a fan of it when she’s with grandma at the mall. It kinda freaks her out.

That is until she has daddy with her. Of course, when N saw the store, he practically ran. He loves all things reptile. If he could have a lizard and a snake as pets, he’d be all over it before I finished the sentence. Because he loves me and doesn’t wish to end our marriage, he’s willing to let go of that dream and just visit reptile stores.

N told me to wait outside the store, in front of the large cage and he’d be right out. Zoe yells, “wait for me daddy!” She LOVED it. She wanted to see all the snakes and lizards. She couldn’t wait to tell me that she saw a snake that was bigger than her, both in length and weight! I got a little woozy.

I’m so glad she has a daddy who will show her all the things I won’t. What works in my favor is that Zoe likes to go see them with her daddy, but doesn’t want them at her house. She’s still got a little of me in her!

Content

This weekend was busy and full.  D & E came for a visit.  It is always a joy to have them.  I'm just so amazed at how quickly they are growing.  D is in junior high now and went to her first dance.  In junior high, the boys are on one side, the girls on the other and you don't really dance with each other.  Near each other is a better term. 

She's making new friends.  She's doing well in school.  She has a joy that shines out of her that is contageous.  I'm so proud of her.  I know she's struggling with some things.  God gave us a moment to talk.  I know I'm only the step-mom, but I truly feel the same love for her as I do Zoe. 

E is doing really well.  I was worried about her making good choices.  She's showing me that my worry is for nothing.  She's doing well in school.  She's making friends and wants to keep AWANA as a priority.  I saw a side of E this weekend that I haven't seen before.  She amazes me.  I can't wait to see what the future holds for her. 

Zoe is Zoe.  She's funny, sassy and sweet all in a little package.  Last night we were hanging out and she wanted to watch Cinderella in my room after her bath.  We got cozy on my bed to watch our favorite movie together.  She snuggled into me, turn her head, got a little pout and said, "mommy, I think it's a great night for a slumber party!"  How can I say no to that?

Not only did I get my three girls, I got my one man!  N had a long weekend.  Yesterday we got to spend the morning together.  It was the perfect weekend. 

I am so blessed.

I'm So Glad She Knows How to Talk

There are many times I struggle with knowing if I'm being a good mom.  I work full-time, we are a busy family and I sometimes struggle to realize that I'm doing enough.  I like to be the best at everything I do and there are times when life doesn't feel that way. 

I'm slowly realizing that being the best isn't the same as giving your best.  Perhaps it's because I know the devastating effects of not having a parent give you any of their time that I'm so much more aware of my interaction with Zoe.  There are small things in life that remind me just how close of a relationship Zoe and I have. 

Today was supposed to be field trip day, so I took today off work.  Yesterday, due to rain, they cancelled the field trip.  I decided to work and save my vacation time.  I had still promised Zoe that we'd have a slumber party.  I had to get everything ready the night before so I wouldn't wake her this morning.

It was the best night.  She was SO excited to have a slumber party with me.  It was a special treat.  When I got home from Bible study last night, she was ready for bed.  She picked out a book and we cuddled as I read to her.  After we turned out the lights, I sang her a song.  Just as she was in her sleepy place, almost ready to fall asleep, she said, "I just really love you mommy." 

That girl touches my heart in ways I'm not prepared for.  I am so blessed.

EEEK!

Tomorrow is a field trip for Zoe's school.  Because I'm always looking for reasons to take a day off and spend time with her, I took tomorrow off. 

Last night, as I was tucking her into bed, this was our conversation:

Z:  Mommy, I'm a little scared.  Can you have a slumber party with me tonight?

M:  Not tonight honey.  I think you'll be just fine.  You are very brave.

Can you check for monsters?  They might be hiding in my toys.

(I go through everything in her room and tell her what I see.)  No monsters in this room!

Maybe I can try to sleep all by myself.  I'm still a little scared!  Are you sure you can't have a slumber party with me?  Pleeeeease!

How about I make a deal with you, if you can be brave tonight, we'll have a slumber party in mommy's room tomorrow.

EEEK!  That's what I say when I'm really, super excited.

In Dog Years, He'd Be 238

Today is N's birthday.  Yesterday he was talking about how he is probably still 13 on the inside, yet older physically.  It made me chuckle, because that's one of the things I love most about him.  He's still goofy and silly, yet mature.  He still tries to get out of his homework.  He spent all last week finishing a 3-hour presentation for work.  It was on things like the difference between AC and DC power.  What kind of water they use to cool off those electrical things.  Where this power line connects to this generator where it connects to the knee bone and where the knee bone connects to the shin bone.  I stopped listening about half way through when all the lines on the diagram started to look like one of those magic eye pictures. 

When it came time to doing his homework for Sunday School, he was tapped out.  We basically had to give our testamony, but in a new, fresh way.  When I got done with mine, he just said, "what she said."  Oh he's funny and witty alright.

Since he's turning 238 in dog years today, I thought I would do a list of some of the things I love about him:

1) He's humble.

2) and goofy.

3) He teaches our girls things like when to say "awkward" or how to bump the rock

4) while still teaching them their worth and how they should be treated.

5) He loves with everything he has

6) that would include his ladies and his video games. 

7) His dimple shows when he's lying

8) and when he's smiling.

9) He still likes some of the same things that Zoe does

10) like Mr. Potato Head, bean bags and paddle ball.

11) He's been told he looks scary because of his facial hair and tattoos

12) but he's the exact opposite of scary.

13) He's a hard worker and takes his job very seriously

14) and he works equally hard on our marriage and parenting.

15) He's introverted

16) yet loves when I host parties so he can be the social butterfly that's secretly inside him.

17) He can come up with a knock, knock joke at the drop of a hat

18) and has such a quick wit that it's sometimes hard to think of a come back.

19) He makes me smile with just a look.

20) He loves anything and everything music

21) and encourages it in our girls.

22) He would drink Mt. Dew through an IV if he could

23) yet is willing to go out to a restaurant for a date night that he knows doesn't have it just to spend time with me.

24) He has tremendous patience

25) always being kind when I'm being totally impatient or frustrated.

26) He prefers meat and potatoes at dinner

27) yet is willing to have a salad instead if I don't feel like cooking.

28) He's generous

29) even willing to give me the last piece of chocolate cream pie, even though it's his favorite.

30) Most importantly, he's in love with Jesus.

31) It's not something that he just wears on his sleeve,

32) He shows it through his actions.

33) He's compassionate, loving and flawed.

34) He was made just for me.

Happy birthday N.  I am so glad you were born.  I love sharing this life with you.  I pray today you are reminded how much you are loved.  I love you completely. 

Encourage

Lately I've witnessed mothers being critical of their children or of other mothers.  I know I've been guilty of this too.  It's been on my heart recently to knock it off.  Being is a parent is the hardest and most rewarding role I've ever played.  I see the sweet side of our girls and I see the defiant side of them.  For some reason I've been chosen to guide them through this life.  The mere thought of that can paralyze me and excite me all in the same breath.

There is enormous pressure to ensure that your children have the values you want them to have, to be independent and to believe in themselves.  Because this parenting thing doesn't come with a manual, I'm going through these waters without a compass.  I'm human, which ensures that I'm going to make mistakes.

It seems that there are study after intellectual study about how much we're messing our kids up.  If you let them watch television, they'll have no attention-span and be sloths.  The next study says that television can encourage this or that.  If you give your kid dessert, they'll be addicted to sweets for the rest of their life.  While you're at it, cut out all flour. 

There's so much noise out there that says "if you aren't doing this, your child will be messed up permanently."  I don't know about you, but I put enough pressure on myself as a mother, I don't need everyone else doing it too.  I especially don't need other mothers criticizing my choices simply because they're different than the choice they would've made.  Honestly, being a mom is hard.  I beat myself up more than anyone else can about what I am or am not doing for my girls.  I sometimes struggle to even think that I'm a good mom. 

I don't understand why, as mothers, we're in competition with each other.  What is that going to accomplish?  There is no medal for the mom who spent the most time with her kid or the mom who didn't let her child watch television.  Being a mom isn't actually about me.  It's about my girls.  None of them are alike.  What works for D doesn't work for E and both of those things don't work for Zoe.  They're each an individual.  Yet I'm one mom. 

If you're a mom, believe that you're being the best mom that you can be.  Believe that, no matter how challenging this phase is, you're doing the best that you can.  If you give your best to this role that God has given to you, then you're doing a fantastic job. 

Mothers, let's not knock the other mom down.  What is that teaching our daughters?  Let's be encouraging, supportive and listen to each other.  Let's pray for each other.  It'll get us farther along on this journey than cutting each other down. 

Choices

There are so many things I love about age 4.  I love that Zoe can tell me stories, share her opinions and we can have a conversation.  Her newest thing is making up a word, like "akooah" and calling it over and over and over again.  When I ask, "what does akooah mean?"  She'll say something like, "it's Chinese for come here please."  It cracks me up every time because she says the made up word with such confidence.  I'm positive she's not 100% aware that there is a place called China, that they do have a language and that, for all I know, "akooah" means flush the toilet.  She is very proud of her international language skills.

One thing we're getting into that is incredibly challenging is choices.  Zoe is a fairly easy kid.  She's rarely does things to get into trouble, somewhat laid back and just an absolute joy.  Now that we're nearing age 5, I'm seeing the topic of choices come out.

We aren't the parents who send her to time out.  We send her to her room, to sit on her bed and think about what she did.  When she realizes what she did and why it was a bad choice, she'll call to us and we'll talk about it.  It's similar to a time out, except that it's on her time, not our time.  If it takes her 10 minutes to figure it out, it's 10 minutes.  Sometimes it takes her 3 minutes.  You get the idea.  The ownership of the realization is on her, not on the clock.

Lately she's been making choices that we call bad choices.  She's gotten snappy, mouthy and throws crying fits that last 20 minutes because her balloon popped.  She has this belief that if she says "sorry" or stops crying, we'll acquiesce to her request.  We're having to dig deeper into consequences of choices, both good and bad ones.  It's been challenging. 

She doesn't really get sassy with me nor N, but she does with my mom.  She can be down right nasty.  It's quite a shock to see her acting this way.  Yet I know this is going to be a year where we learn some serious life lessons.  The blessing in all this is she knows that talking that way isn't right.  Now it's just getting her to make a better choice. 

Maybe "akooah" is Chinese for "Lord give me strength."  Perhaps I'm going to start work on my international mommy language.  I think I'm going to need it.

The Fairest Of Them All and A Wet Willy

This weekend was a little slice of heaven.  On Saturday, we only left the house once and it was only for 45 minutes.  Beyond that, we were in jammies, eating yummy corn chowder and enjoying some crafty time. 

Zoe made a bear while my mom and I quilted.  We don't have much to show for our time, but we will soon!  It was glorious and much needed.  I even got to watch Facing the Giants.  I've heard quite a bit about the movie and really didn't have much desire to see it.  My mom LOVES it, so she threw it in while we were quilting.  OH.MY.WORD!  One of the best movies I've seen probably ever.  The acting isn't great, but the story is.  I cried like a baby.  It really doesn't take much for me to cry, but that's not really the point.  Just a good, uplifting movie. 

Once it was over, Zoe insisted we watch her movie.  She picked out Snow White.  Then she had to dress like Snow White, complete with a red bow in her hair.  For the next 5 hours we played Snow White.  Just the part where she eats the apple, gets put in a bed and then the prince comes. 

Finally N got home Saturday night from Men's Camp.  Exactly 52 minutes after he walked in the door, he fell asleep.  You know it was a deep sleep because a wet willy didn't even stir him. 

It was a weekend full of moments that fill your soul.  Time with my mom and Zoe was much needed.  N's time with his men playing camp pranks on one another was much needed.  In the midst of all the crazy, it was nice to just relax and be. 

Can't Keep Her Down

School started exactly 3 weeks ago today for Zoe.  I've been counting down the days until the first illness hits our house.  One of her little friends came down with an ear infection and a fever in week one.  I knew it was only a matter of time.  Like clockwork, the end of week two started the drippy nose and a low-grade fever. 

It wasn't anything I was too concerned about because Zoe tends to do that.  She'll get a low-grade fever and a runny nose if she's overly tired.  She gets that randomly throughout the year.  I didn't think too much of it. 

Yesterday afternoon she was totally okay.  No runny nose.  No low-grade fever.  Energy I wish I could bottle.  She was great. 

Until 7:15.

She grabbed her ear, complained that it hurt and wanted to go to bed.  She was asleep by 7:30. 

It wasn't a restful sleep either.  She'd toss and turn, whimper and just generally feel terrible.  It broke my heart to see her like that.

I've planned to call the school and let them know she wouldn't be there.  I've planned to call the doctor and get in to see him today.

She woke up, totally ready for school.  No runny nose.  No low-grade fever.  No ear pain.  Nothing.  She's totally fine. 

I woke up with a scratchy throat and a small headache.  I have a feeling it jumped ship from her glands and landed in mine.  I'm not taking bets that in a few days, I'll get 12 hours of sleep and feel totally refreshed. 

We Had Ourselves a Date

To celebrate our sixth anniversary, we went to the Fair.  We got to eat Fair food, namely an elephant ear for me.  I love them things.  N was very excited because the official drink of the Fair was Pepsi.  That basically means that I got to bring my small purse because N could purchase a Mt. Dew rather than requiring me to smuggle one in.

I also recently learned that the traditional anniversary gift for the sixth year is either sugar or iron.  I'd say with the huge elephant ear and the equally huge Mt. Dew, we're covered!

We had bought tickets to Switchfoot about a month ago.  We bought some Gold level seats because we like to watch our concerts in style.  When we found our seats, we were like 15 rows from the stage.  Hello awesome!  See how excited we are!

As the sun was setting, the band came out and rocked it.  Here's Jon Foreman, the lead singer belting out their tunes.

N got better pictures on his phone, but still a great show.  Jon even climbed a concrete wall to enter the grandstands and mingle with the people up there. 

They are full of energy, have great music and really connect with the crowd.  We had a blast celebrating our marriage with these fine musicians. 

Next year is wool.  I'm thinking Ireland and a nice sweater from there.  Knowing N, he's thinking petting zoo.

Six

Because we're celebrating six years of marriage together, I thought I'd celebrate with a list.  After six years, that's how you begin to think.  Lists for the grocery store, what the kiddos have to take to school in the morning, what your husband has to get done while he's home on the weekends, etc.  Without further ado, the 6 odd facts about N, a la Letterman Style:

6)  His love of reptiles and rodents:  This has nothing to do with the fact that I like those things or I let him have any of those things as pets.  It has everything to do with the fact that he can capture them so I don't have to.  Once a tree frog got into our house and jumped into the underpart of the couch.  N fished that bad boy out so I didn't have to. 

He also once took apart the garage found a small snake in our garage and got rid of it because I was absolutely freaking out. 

5)  He will always let me have the last bite of dessert:  Had I known this would be an important quality in a man, I so would've had that on my list years ago as a quality I wanted.  As I grow older, I find this to be one of my favorite things about him.  Don't count on him to leave any popcorn though. 

4)  He's constantly beat-boxing:  He's always got some tune or beat going through his head.  Always.  Zoe will ask her daddy to give her a beat and he will.  It's so natural that she assumes we all can do it.  When she asks me to give her a beat, I can't, she gets a little frustrated and asks that we call daddy. 

He can remix any song.  Lately it's been Jesus Loves Me and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.  Zoe's bedtime songs are always way cooler when daddy is around.  Mommy just does showtunes.

3)  His dreams are vivid:  He used to help do training in the Air Force.  They'd go out in a big, wooded area and practice their combat skills.  I don't know much about it, but he got to shoot guns, with I can only assume blanks because everyone always survived.  One night, after some of this training, I woke up to him protecting me and him protending to shoot the bad guys.  Anytime he does something is fun and can be reinacted, I can usually find him doing it in his sleep. 

Why this cracks me up is because Zoe does the exact same thing.  She once had a snowball fight in her dreams and threw things off her bed.  On days that are particularly exciting, I try to take a nap.

2)  He knows a joke for just about any topic:  I'm not entirely sure if he Googles them prior to knowing he'll need one, but he's always got a knock, knock joke for Zoe or a joke/saying for any setting.  He always amazes me with his random knowledge.

1) Speaking of random knowledge, he's an expert on anything comic:  I'm not sure if it's because he used to have a ton of time on his hands or if he does now, but he can tell you the history and the connection between all the superheros.  He knows why Xavier in X-Men is the way he is.  He can also tell you why Robin is with Batman, what Thor's favorite bedtime snack is and what particles make up Kryptonite.  I don't really retain any of this, but I get a little history lesson prior to any comic-based movie.  Half the time I think he's just making it up, but then, somehow during the movie, that little tidbit of information gets mentioned.  I wonder if he knows that much about Wonder Woman?

Thank you N for introducing me to the inner-workings of the comic world, beat-boxing remix versions of all songs and protecting me from imaginary enemies and reptiles!  You are my hero love and I couldn't imagine my life without you.  I love you.

The New Routine is in Full Swing

We are almost completely moved.  It's only been going on for the better part of 2 months.  I'm nothing if not efficient.

Once all the moving is done, I can finally focus on life.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not checking out or anything, but it's hard to remember to search through magazines for a picture that starts with the letter "M" for Zoe's school project, sew a bear onto your daughter's AWANA vest, prepare for the story time at said AWANA, find a pair of ballet flats that you love and are somewhere in the stack of 5 boxes currently in front of your closet and remember to charge your phone. 

I know that sounds silly, I do always remember to charge my phone!  Life is a bit hectic still and the holidays are upon us.

I know what you're thinking.  I've lost track of time and my ballet flats.  We are 10 days into birthday season.  We have, at a minimum, one birthday a week until mid-October, plus our anniversary.  Honestly, I like the anniversary celebration a whole lot more than my birthday for several reasons, but mainly because I feel like we've accomplished something.  With a birthday you've been alive for 34 years.  Yeah, congratulations, you've been breathing for 34 years.  Yeah you!  Here's some cake!  Don't get me wrong, I love birthdays, but I just don't feel like they really represent anything great now. 

Unlike our girl's birthdays.  Zoe is super excited as her birthday is the next in line.  She always tells people it's her second birthday, but last night I told her it's her fifth birthday.  Now the word fifth is her favorite word.  She thinks it's so fun to say.  Really, she'll be a whole hand, so that's a huge accomplishment!  Plus she's no longer calling it her second birthday, so another accomplishment!  Yeah Zoe!

Anyway, as I was saying, I like the anniversary better.  I feel like that 6 on our imaginary anniversary cake means something.  I envision a cake with camouflage decoration, a bride in her gown with camouflage paint on her face pointing a gun off one side of the cake and the groom, dressed in a tux with a camouflaged painted face, pointing his gun off the other side.  In a kinda "I got your back" type scene. 

In many ways that's how our marriage feels.  We're both fiercely protective of our marriage and of each other.  No matter what, I know N has my back.  For the last 6 years, he's been keeping his post.  I've had friends come and go, but he's always been there in the trenches with me.  He encourages me, loves me inspite of my quirks, supports me and holds me accountable. 

That proverbial "6" that will be on our imaginary camouflage cake this year has more weight that I can fully describe.  It's the milestone in life that I'm most proud of.  In spite of all this chaos and moving and settling into a routine, he's my constant. 

Tomorrow we celebrate this milestone.  Our anniversary tradition is to attend a concert.  This year Switchfoot came to the Fair on our anniversary.  I have a feeling they did it just for us.  I wonder if I can convince N to wear camouflage paint on his face to the concert.  Maybe I will so when I eat my second elephant ear, they won't recognize me. 

A Mini Us

As N and I watch Zoe, we're fascinated by how she can be so much like me and so much like N and yet so much just herself.  As she gets older, I see much of me coming out in her, yet with a sense of adventure that is all N. 

Yesterday she had to call daddy.  She stood at the phone with her hand on her hip and proceeded to talk, nonstop about things.

Daddy, I wanted to call and let you know that I'm fine and I miss you.  Right now mommy and I are with the quilt ladies at the clubhouse.  It's only for girls, you know.  They are working on their quilts while mommy and I are playing.  Don't worry about us, we're fine, just having a girls day.  So Daddy, how are you?

The whole time she's either got her hand on her hip or she's winding the phone cord around her finger.  It's amazing to see yourself come out in such a little person.

It's also a little scary!

The Small Joys

My mom and I were talking yesterday and comparing notes.  Both of us are going through a transition right now.  She's having to give up some space and share her home.  I'm having to give up my home and reduce my space to a single bedroom.  What we found funny is that both of our friends come up and ask, "how are you doing with all this?  How's it living with someone?"  They're really concerned about our relationship and having to live in the same house with your mom/daughter.  Of all the transition hurdles we're facing, that's not even on the list.  The space, the clutter, the moving...all that is on the list.  Our relationship is the joy of this whole process. 

As I looked back on my mom's life, she is a woman of relationships.  Her motto has always been to collect people.  People are in your life for a reason.  Maybe it's to encourage you.  Maybe it's to challenge you.  Maybe it's to walk this journey of life with you.  That's been her life.  She had a great relationship with her grandma.  A good relationship with her mom later in life.  She had a fantastic relationship with me and Zoe. 

Of all the stuff going on, we are still good.  I couldn't help but say a little prayer of thanks for that. 

I Tapped Out For a Bit

Apparently when life gets a little chaotic, this blog suffers.  Honestly, I meant to keep better record of our life, but let's face it that was a pipe dream.

In the last few weeks, we've:

1) moved
2) started Pre-K
3) started AWANA
4) lost all track of time

The biggest happening that really feels like a month in the making is the move.  We had to do a three-point move.  My mom cleaned out her house and got ready for Zoe and I to move in.  I had to pack up our house for either my mom's house or for Oregon.  N moved into a duplex in Oregon.

It was much cleaning, packing, cleaning, de-junking, packing, sorting, packing, moving and moving.  We rented a truck for the big move last weekend.  In a sad commentary, the truck was too small, so not all our stuff fit in it.  We're having to do the remainder piece mail and it's ugly.  These last 48 hours have been the first of our new routine.  Because we're still unpacking, sorting, cleaning, unpacking it's taking a little longer.  This weekend is a big clean out of the old house and getting it ready to go on the market.

With the move has come some emotions.  We have a duplex that N's living in that has enough storage for all our stuff, so that's the great news.  It's a little place that's ours.  However, it's about 180 miles away from me.  That's been hard to lose my home.  I find part of my identity in my home and it's not a place that I live in daily.  I'm not complaining, this is just a stepping stone to a future where I can have a home that we hopefully build and then I can make up for these two years!

Zoe has adjusted quite well.  Her perfect place is where all her people are under one roof.  I honestly think if she could have a house that had rooms for the entire family, she'd be a happy girl.  She loves her new rooms, both at grandma's and in Oregon. 

In a nice blessing, Toby has also adjusted quite well.  He's come out of his shell and is total puppy.  We have a hard time getting him to come inside, which was absolutely NOT the case at our prior house.  Apparently Grandma's is also his happy place.  I can't even begin to explain how awesome that is.  We were worried he'd take several steps back and it's been a painful process to get him out of his shell.  Praise the Lord that he feels more at home at grandma's then he did at our home!
In the midst of all the packing and change, we started Pre-K.  Zoe LOVES it.  She's got 24 kids in her class and she's making new friends.  Zoe is a picky eater.  She only drinks water.  She isn't too keen on very many veggies or fruits.  She's stubborn.  After the first day of class she was SUPER excited because she tried something new:  a carrot.  She now claims them as one of her favorite foods.  Go Zoe!

In the midst of all the change, there are so many blessings.  N still loves his dam job.  He's making great friends and passing all his exams.  If we have to live apart during the week, it's such a blessing that he still likes what he does.

That's our life in a nutshell.  Nothing terribly exciting just terribly busy!

On a Scale of Grossness, This is a 10

I've had some pretty gross experiences in my life.  It was my 28th birthday and since my actual birth date is the 28th, it was my golden birthday.  I had gotten married to the love of my life a mere two weeks before that.  We were returning from our honeymoon in beautiful O'ahu. 

Seriously, for birthdays, this should be at the top-o-the list of the greatest ones of all time.  However, this birthday made a different list:  the grossness list.

We had a small lay over at LAX before heading home to Seattle.  It wasn't that big of a deal, we could get something to eat, use the restroom and then hit the remaining leg of our journey. 

Immediately upon arrival at LAX, N and I went to our respective restrooms.  That's where my birthday took a nasty turn.  You see, I assumed that there was a public code for bathroom cleanliness.  I will tell you, there is not.  I was in my stall feeling really sorry for the person who apparently was not feeling well in the stall next to me.  When I looked down and realized it wasn't coming from the stall next to me at all.  I hate stepped in human poop.  On my new Nike running shoes. 

I spent the next 45 minutes trying to get the poop off my shoes and to keep from gagging.  It was the absolute grossest thing that's ever happened to me.

Until last night...

You see Zoe and I went swimming at the YMCA because she got a new floatation device that had to be tested.  About 35 minutes into our swimming adventure, the lifeguards blew their whistle and ordered everyone out of the pool.  Oh yes, they found poop.

While we were swimming!

Fortunately it wasn't near where we were, but still, a couple, deep strokes and good kicks and it would've been. 

Zoe doesn't understand why we still couldn't play, but did agree that swimming in poop isn't a very good idea. 

All I can say is that I'm so glad for cholorine because I'm hoping it killed all that fecal matter before it came floating over to us. 

She's a Liberated Woman

For years Zoe has talked about getting married and being a parent.  If you ask her what she wants to be she always responds with "a parent and..."  Each week it's something new after "and".  This week it's I want to be "a parent and a pilot."  Last week it was I want to be "a parent and a dentist."  She's got loads of ideas.

Usually when we asked her who she was going to marry, she'd say "daddy."  She has been going to marry daddy since she has been able to answer the question.  There are times when she'll come out in her Cinderella dress, with a ring in her hand and tell daddy they're getting married.  N, being the good daddy that he is, will get his Fedora and a tie and marry her, then dance with her.  It's the cutest thing.

Zoe has moved on.  She's no longer going to marry daddy.  She informed me this past week that she's going to marry Ben, a boy at our church.  The good news is that this boy is her age, he's actually 3 weeks older than Zoe.  He's also a very sweet boy and his family is totally awesome.  Both N and I are okay with this choice, so long as they wait about 20 years. 

I saw Ben's parents at church on Sunday and told them that Zoe was planning to marry Ben.  His mom said, "he's planning on marrying me, so we'll see if he's ready to marry someone else.  Zoe's a great choice, she's cute and nice!" 

On Sunday they were both in the nursery together, helping me.  This was the conversation:

Z:  Ben, you know when we grow up, I'm going to marry you.

B:  Really?  Marry me?
Z:  Yep!  When we grow up, we're getting married.

B:  Okay, I'll marry you. 

Z:  Okay, let's go play house.  I'll be the mommy and you be the daddy.

B:  I'll help you make some food.  We can do it together!

They played together the rest of the day.  Ben found a fake dinosaur and when he realized it freaked Zoe out, he chased her with it. 

When Zoe found out that he thought that was funny, she told him that it wasn't funny and that he better stop it. 

They had their first betrothal spat. 

It ended well.  They were playing musical chairs by the end of the hour.  Apparently we gained a future son-in-law yesterday. 

The Way Back, Play Back

We are in the midst of going through boxes, cleaning out closets and the garage and getting ready for the big move.  Because Zoe and I will be moving in with my mom, she is also going through everything.  Apparently in my younger days I was a hoarder.  She has no less than 50 boxes of my memorabilia that need to be tended to.  Honestly, I have no clue why I kept pencils the size of quarters or shirts that neither of us have any recollection of me wearing.  It's mind-boggling all the junk I've accumulated.  Especially since I'm anti-save anything now.  I kept a few baby clothes of Zoe's, but that's it.  I have no problem throwing away her weird cut-out art project that has no meaning.  I did keep the paper where she's learning to write her name.  I'm not totally heartless, just more practical than I used to be.

I'm not going to lie, it's been absolutely fun going through all the boxes.  I've found several pictures that bring back old memories.  There are also a ton of pictures of me as a little girl.  When I show them to Zoe, she says, "I don't remember having that dress mom...oh wait, that's you."  I always knew we looked alike, but it's freaky how much. 

That's not all I've found.  N and I used to date in high school.  I use the term "date" very loosely.  Basically we went to two dances and a movie.  Considering that I wasn't a huge dater, that's quite a bit.  As I was going through my high school memory book, I came across a photo album.  This was the picture on the front:

Why yes, that is N and me at a dance our junior year.  The memories came flooding back.  He informed me that he had the perfect vest, it was a chili pepper vest.  That only played into my small crisis in that I couldn't find a dress that I liked.  Try and find the perfect dress that goes with a chili pepper vest and one that gives you confidence despite all the phobia of going to a dance with a boy you really like who also freaks you out because he likes you back.  Oh, teenage drama! 

Since it was semi-formal, I had to get a dress.  Sensing my huge mid-high school-life crisis, my mom offered to make me a dress.  N, of course, wore his totally awesome chili pepper vest.

We doubled with his sister and her date, Justin.  We all went to youth group together and thought it would be fun.  We drove out to Fairchild AFB where N's dad was stationed.  They lived on base.  I'll tell you, there's nothing more intimidating that driving to your date's house, having to wait outside the gate that's guarded by men with guns and have your date come pick you up and escourt you in.  Ah, teenage drama!

His parents made us a fancy dinner of chicken cordon bleu and then served us sparkling cidar in wine glasses.  It was all very sweet and totally uncomfortable.  Then they took no less than 100 pictures of us in a pre-dance photo shoot.  Looking back, it was absolutely awesome that they did this and that I actually kept it.  During the photo shoot, it was totally awkward. 

The dance was a blast.  N has always been a really great dancer and we always had a really great time together.  Even if he wore a chili pepper vest and my skin was bordering on being a Cullen from Twilight. 

I showed this to N this weekend and he said, "I still think you're beautiful...even with that unibrow."  He's a keeper!

It's Always in the Last Place I Check

We are officially in full swing into phase two of the transition from college life to separated, working life.  I'm constantly amazed at how God works.  I realize that, by now, you'd think I'd know He's capable of WAY more than I can fathom.  Yet, each time He does something, I'm amazed...and a slow learner apparently.

Now the N is working full-time, we are having to do the BIG move.  Zoe and I are moving in with my mom and N is moving into a humble abode by the dam.  We've been on the lookout for something with storage because we really don't want to pay for storage.  It is amazing how many apartments don't have garages. 

We've been in deep prayer about this.  I'm not kidding, I probably pray no less than 25 times a day about the living situation.  If I've learned anything in my short life, it's that finding a great place to live in a foreign land is hard.  Especially when N, who is a little directionally challenged, is having to find these places.  He doesn't like to go off the beaten path.  I can't say I blame him.  I don't like feeling lost either.

We had decided that since we couldn't find an affordable place with storage, we'd go with a cheaper apartment and a storage unit.

Then I got a call from my dear friend Steph, who is from the area around the dam.  She had a lead.

In ways that only God can produce, we are the official renters of a 3-bedroom duplex with a garage.  It's only $25 more a month than the apartment with less rooms and no garage.  What's even better, you can see the river from some of the rooms.  Which means N doesn't have far to travel for work.

I cannot tell you how great it feels to have that squared away.  Now we're onto the really fun stuff...packing and prepping for a yard sale. 

The Face that Launch a Thousand Ships

When N and I are apart, we Skype so that we can at least see each other every day. It's done amazing things for this separation and I couldn't be more grateful.  We can't Skype while we're at work, so I've been sending him little pictures of me this week to keep him energize and in loooove!

Here are some of the gems he's been getting:

Surprisingly he's still willing to come home!

Ain't No Match For the Jaws of Life

Now that N is back at work at the dam, I'm having to do more around the house during the week since I'm a single parent of two now.  Zoe is her usual, only child self and requires that we play together, which is fine, I can do that.  I love hanging with my kiddo.  New the family dynamics is Toby.  Honestly, he's sometimes more high maintenance than a human.  He whines when I'm playing with Zoe and not with him.  He herds me away from Zoe so I can play with him.  He will try and sit on my lap when I'm cuddling with Zoe.  He's got all kinds of ideas that revolve around him being the center of attention and not Zoe.  It's sibling rivalry to the extreme. 

Toby is a chewer.  Praise the Lord, he only chews on his toys.  If we get him a stuffed animal, he'll have the stuffing out within the day.  If we give him a bone, he's gnawed off an end of it before the hour is over.  The boy chews and chews and chews.  I'm not complaining because he has only chewed two things he shouldn't have.  I think that's a great record.

However, because he's such a chewer, we are constantly having to get toys for him.  He loves stuffed animals with a squeaker in them.  They make him happy.  We took stock out of these 4-pack of animals that they had a Costco because we got 4 of them and we could make them last 10 days if needed!  The last ladybug is holding onto her last thread and we thought we'd pick up some more this weekend so that Toby would have something to chew this week.

They didn't have them anymore.  They did have these toys called that were appropriately named Tuffy.  They are for aggressive chewers and they're machine washable.  Because God was smiling, they also had squeakers in them, which are Toby's favorite.  We bought a pack thinking that maybe these would last longer than 24 hours. 

Then Toby showed us just how much of a misnomer the word Tuffy was.

Last night I was in the kitchen and in comes Toby making this weird sound.  Then he puked.  It was black.  I'll tell you there's nothing worse than seeing your dog puke and knowing that your husband isn't home to clean it up...until you see it's black and you start to wonder why.  Then you see this:

The Tuffy has been destroyed, eaten and puked back up, all within 24 hours.  I fear for the things that are on the receiving end of that mouth.  I think I'm going to start calling him Jaws rather than Toby.