They are blogging

Recently some things in my life and my attitude have been brought to my attention. The words that this person used made me uncomfortable.

I think that source of discomfort is because someone spoke truth to me.

I need to ponder that truth. Spend time praying for God to help me see Him. Help me experience the joy He wants me to have. Help me to live the life He wants me to live.

So I'm going to be a bit quiet on this blog for a bit. Give me some time to ponder.

If you want to read some amazing blogs in the meantime, go here. Compassion has just sent a team to India. Their blogs are worth reading. God's love and hope come pouring off their pages.

He is working in India and it's totally worth reading about. You won't regret it.

Tough as enamel

Last night Zoe and I were playing. I had her pinned on the floor and the tickle bugs were getting her.

As she was laughing and snorting, I noticed she had a new molar. This is the first tooth that has followed remotely close to the actual schedule.

About a week ago I noticed she was eating her binkies, but did not want to suck on them. She had done that before when she was teething. No other signs indicated that she was in pain.

Yet, she has a whole, new tooth back there. I'm constantly amazed at how easy she is. She rarely cries, whines or complains. She's a go-with-the-flow girl. I feel so blessed because I honestly don't know how I'd do with any other kid.

After I noticed the tooth, we had a chat:

Me: Did you know you had a new tooth?
Zoe: No
M: Are you planning on getting any more?
Z: No
M: Did it hurt?
Z: No
M: Is that because you are one, tough cookie?
Z: 'kay!

I love that we can have conversations now.

It's a bird, it's a plane

This weekend was not just full of some purse cake action. N took the honey-please-do-list to heart. After a mere 2.5 hours, he had this up in the garage.

He put Zoe on it to see if it would hold 30 pounds. It totally did, although she was less than thrilled about the height.

We got a good portion of our garage cleared off the floor. Because we have a little fear about ceiling mounted things staying up, N and I checked on it no less than 612 times the rest of Sunday afternoon.

Each time we were totally impressed that it was still up.

Of course I have faith in N's handy work. Which is why I can't wait to see what he can do this weekend!

Purse Cakes

D & E came over this weekend. Because I like to always have something for them to make, my mom suggested we try purse cakes. Basically you make a round cake, cut it in half, put some frosting on one half and make a sandwich. Then instead of laying it down on the plate, you stand it up so it makes a half moon. You know, a purse cake.

Because all of our girls enjoy anything cake, candy, dessert related, I decided it sounded perfect.

D & E had soccer games Saturday morning, so Zoe and I stayed home to make some cakes. Zoe loves all things that involve cracking eggs and taste testing.

If you can't tell, the batter was totally delish and edible.

After dinner on Saturday night, we decided to decorate our purse cakes. I bought Runts, Good & Plenty, M&M's, Puker Ups and gum drops. All the makings for great purse design.

Zoe was more into eating the M&M's and then shoving some down into the purse. After all, what good is a purse if you can't fit very much into it. Plus, the farther you stuck your finger down, the more frosting that came out.

E was trying to decide on some creative way to make a rainbow out of Runts. It's a tough process.

D was more methodical. She counted out Puker Ups in exact amounts per color to achieve her rainbow design.

We used some licorce for the handles. Here is the finished products:

Zoe couldn't be bothered with posing with all the frosting to be eaten.

The handbag section of Casa de la Custer. Tres chic.

Friday Five Faves - Vol 6

I've been a little lax in the FFF department this year. I wish I had some grand excuse, but I don't.

In an effort to redeem myself, I thought I'd get at least one more in before we're completely done with April.

This week I've been loving mail order. We had three packages arrive while we were at work. It was like coming home to Christmas in April. If you bought the gift for yourself and knew exactly when it was arriving.

We got N's saddlebags on Monday.

1) Yesterday we got my new favorite garage item EVAR: ceiling mounted storage. It's on the honey-please-do list for the weekend.

The picture is a little weird because they are actually upside down in the foyer and I was just too lazy to flip them before I took the picture. So I just flipped the picture. Laziness folks. It's a gift of mine.

2) The only thing I love more than buying clothes for myself is buying clothes for Zoe. The best part is that she's still at the age where she'll wear what I put on her. Although I must say, the opinions are already starting. She won't wear just any shoe with just any outfit.

This week I had some Gymboree bucks that I had to use. I got all this for 50% off.

Welcome summer. Zoe will be so darling.

3) The last Jumpers class. While I think Zoe is the cutest girl EVAR in her leotard, the class is actually exhausting. For 30 minutes we are both jumping, rolling and balancing. I'm not going to lie, I'm completely out of shape. After 30 minutes of a 2 year old's gymnastics class, I'm ready for a hot tub and bed.

After the first week we got a new teacher. I'm not really fond of her. She insists that Zoe stretch before we start. If you've ever met a 2 year old, stretching really isn't in their vocabulary. I figure since they can touch their toes, climb all over furniture and like to sleep all contorted, they're pretty much ready, muscle wise, for all things gymnastic at time of the day or night. Zoe hated stretching. It would take a good 10 minutes of the 30 minute class to calm her down.

After all the crying, hopping, balancing and rolling, I was pretty much ready for the stamp on Zoe's hand. I actually think I should get one too, but I don't want to be too pushy. It's one of Zoe's favorite parts too. She will show everyone her stamp.

4) N. He is working so hard going through school and working full-time, that I know he's exhausted by the weekend. Yet he takes time to play with Zoe, work in the yard and clean the tubs. During the week, he frequently tells me how much he appreciates me. Honestly, I have no idea how I got so blessed.

I don't even think all that mushiness and willingness has anything to do with getting saddlebags this week. He actually fells all that mushy stuff. I guess I'm doubly blessed!

5) Zoe's thought process. I honestly can't wait for the next stage where she's talking and telling me all her ideas. I have a feeling I'm going to be in stitches most of the time.

On the way to the car from gymnastics, she was starting to get a bit whiny. Then she noticed some birds and the gondolas overhead and briefly forgot about all the required stretching that made her upset. As I was putting her in the car, she realized she had stopped whining and started to cry. You have to make up for the brief moment of non-whining.

As we were driving out of the parking spot I noticed she was still crying, but she had found a tissue and was wiping her eyes as she cried.

I have no idea where she gets it.

That's pretty much my week in a nutshell. I think they just keep getting better.

Have a good weekend all. Hope it's full of sunshine, spring weather and no required stretching.

He's got bags and he knows how to use them

Since the sun has been peeking out from time to time, that means a certain male in our house is revving his engine.

The asphalt under is speeding under his tires, the wind whips his cheeks and he has to avoid the roadkill that comes with this time of year. He claims to have eaten fur last week on his way home. I saw some remnants on the highway the next morning and it was then I vowed not to kiss him until he bleached his face.

Part of me is equally excited to strap on my helmet and hold onto N for dear life. It's a way to bond with him that I love.

Now that he has work and school, he has to pack quite a bit with him in the mornings. Because he's been working so hard and actually had some overtime, he was able to get some saddlebags.

Honestly I think he was more excited to see those babies on the dining room table than he was to see me walking down the aisle. I think he actually may kiss them each morning before he sets off on the open road, but I can't be sure.

Zoe loves them too. It's a great place for her snacks, Mickey and a ball. All things that are totally important when you're 2 and sit on the bike, in the garage with your mom and kiss the baby in those little mirrors.

I guess N got two things this week: sweet saddlebags and some kiss marks from Zoe.

She's a total slave driver

In an effort to include Zoe in all our outdoor activity, we bought her a shovel, a wheelbarrow, a rake and a watering can. All smaller versions of mine. Which actually make them adorable.

I figured if I was planting, Zoe would get her shovel and help me.

I was right, she totally wants to help. The problem is that I cannot sit down in the backyard and watch her play. She brings me my tools. She insists that I work in the yard every single second that I'm out there.

My beds have never looked better.

Because I'm forced to work all the time, I have ideas about the beds now. Grand ideas. Like I want to move loads of bark out, loads of dirt in and create a play area for Zoe. That last one is in hope that I might be able to get some rest outside when the weather is seriously nice.

Zoe's cleaned out area. She has her rake. Apparently my bark moving abilities are sub-par.

The other bed. That still needs to be cleared and plants and roses need to be transplanted.

The water table that is great for cleaning off her tools. Not for actual water play.

The slave driver herself. How do you say no to that face?

Bookay

With the nicer weather, we've been able to bring out the summer fun. Not only does Zoe have a shovel, rake and a watering can, but lots of toys to play with outside.

She's been in heaven being able to get out, enjoy the fresh air and play in the dirt.

Her favorite thing in the whole world is her "bookay." In toddler-speak that means bubbles.

Lots of bubbles.

Lots of smiles, twirling and dancing thanks to the bookay.

Easter Part Deux

Easter morning was busy. After the Easter bunny came, we went to church to celebrate our Risen Lord.

Then it was home to search for the licked eggs in the backyard. Zoe needed the card from Grammie and Grandpa to get in the mood.

After all the hunting, N's sister Bev, her husband Chris and their son Micah came over to celebrate.

I think Micah gets cuter every time I see him.

Zoe thinks so too. She loves petting his bald head and kissing him.

Because N is a master at many things, he was able to get both of them to sit for approximately 5 seconds. Which is just enough time for me to snap a picture.

Then, because none of the family from N's side lives near us, we had to get the family picture. Thanks to my mom, who avoids the camera at all costs.

N hosted his famous omelet bar and the kids had a great time playing. It was a wonderful Easter!

According to N, the licked eggs taste fabulous.

That Easter Bunny is pretty cool

For Easter we dyed some eggs. Although by dyeing, I mean I dyed them while Zoe was sleeping. She has a love of sticking her hand into cups full of water. I feared that we would end up with hands more colorful than the eggs.

After her nap, we decorated them with stickers. By we, I mean I put them on and she pulled them off. Then licked the egg. Apparently you don't decorate the hard boiled eggs, you lick them.

Here's the expert sticker remover and licker in action:




On Easter morning the Easter bunny was totally not afraid to touch the non-decorated, saliva covered eggs because they ended up in the backyard.

Zoe woke up to a new wheelbarrow filled with Little Einsteins and a water table.

We haven't had a chance to try out the water table. Since we got 6 inches of snow. After Easter!

I have a feeling she's going to love all the pouring and chances to get soaked.

Or if not, she'll at least have some new squirty toys to lick.

Some heartbreak

This economy has done major things to the US. My job has been affected by the market ups and downs. N has survived 4 rounds of layoffs. Each bringing a deeper sense of sadness and loss.

Through all those rounds where N & I prayed, we knew God would guide us through it. Knew that He had a plan should N lose his job.

Thankfully His plan includes a future for N at his current company. They see a future in him. That feeds both of our souls.

Today is my turn to experience loss and sadness. My former company in Tacoma, Russell Investments, is going through layoffs today. In December they announced that 400 jobs would be cut. While it's a global company, many of those positions will be in Tacoma.

That hits the center of my heart. Those people were my family. They welcomed me to Tacoma with such sweetness that I felt like I knew them all before we even met.

They celebrated with me during my pregnancy. They encouraged me to grow in my career.

When Zoe and I were fighting for life, they circled around all of us with love, encouragement and support.

Moving back to Spokane was bittersweet. This is home and the place N & I both knew we needed to be. The hardest part about leaving Tacoma was leaving my Russell family behind. I hated that I wouldn't see them everyday.

Now, two years later, I still rejoice with them through marriages, births and the new things that life brings.

Today, some of my family will experience this economy first hand. Today I will be saddened along with them.

I know there is a bigger plan in store for them, even though today might be hard. I am sending prayers, hugs and love to all of them. It's going to be a hard one.

A date with Zoe

I took Friday off to be home with my people. Because I normally don't get Fridays off, we decided to plan a date with Zoe.

Downtown is a children's museum that has a toddler time on Friday mornings. We packed up and headed out for some fun.

They have a sports themed exhibit right now, which is right up Zoe's alley. She loves to play ball.

There was a really tough bouncing exhibit. You have to try and do a bounce pass into a hole behind the glass. Zoe was more into holding onto the ball and rolling it under the glass.

Then we found the water current table. Daddy created some white water rafting for the plastic boats. Zoe helped. She didn't like his zig-zags, so she rearranged and then watched her boats fly down the rapids.

Then we made it into the arts and crafts section. We each made paper fish. This is Zoe's "kay" pose. When you repeat what she said, she puts her hands into fists and says "kay." I think she was done with her fish and ready to watch the boats on the water again.

Because the water table had another round of rafting guides, we decided to head across the street to Red Robin for lunch. Here she is pondering what we would do next on our date.

Fortunately we were close to Riverfront Park, which is one of the largest parks in Spokane. You can feed the ducks, ride some carnival rides and in the summer play in the fountains.

Today, we decided to introduce Zoe to one of both N's and my favorite pasttimes. The carrousel. Spokane has an original Looff carrousel, built in 1909. It's gorgeous.

It's safe to say we have another generation who will count the carrousel as one of her favorite childhood memories. She said, "weeeeeeeeee" the entire time. When we got off, she was ready for round two.

There is no better way to spend Good Friday than with the two, greatest blessings in my life.

Friday Five Faves - The Gymnastic Edition

We had a bit of a scare this week. Wednesday I got a call from the YMCA. Zoe was the only one registered for the Jumpers gymnastics class. They were either going to cancel the class or switch her to a different time.

Obviously I would be heartbroken if the class were cancelled, but switching wasn't an option because Thursdays are the best day for us.

I'm not going to lie. Tears were almost shed at the fact that she wouldn't be able to wear her new leotards and be so cute in a gymnastics class.

On Thursday morning I spoke to the director at the YMCA and they decided to change her class to a private lesson. Miss Mandy was willing to work on Thursdays just for us.

Both Zoe and I are so glad she did. Here is our gymnastic in action:

During the obstacle course. She loved it so much she didn't want to quit.

Climbing up the wedge on the course. She's a natural.

Playing with the bubbles.

Posing a bit during the bubble session.

Her classic dismount pose.

After all the climbing, the bubble popping and some crying, she got a lollipop and two stamps on her hands.

It was an absolute blast. We can't wait for Thursday again.

Jaidean Baker Photography

I'm one of those moms who always have their camera in hand, ready to capture each moment of our life.

Because of this, I'm hardly ever in pictures. Mainly that's not a big deal to me because, well, I don't really like my picture taken.

Due to this, Zoe is a little camera shy at the studio during her photo shoots. If you've seen her pictures, you might think it doesn't look that way. Yet, it takes a good 30 minutes to stop the tears and get the smile.

I've been in search of a photographer in Spokane who can take candid shots of our brood, outdoors to capture us as a family. Rather than posing us.

For a few months I've been following a photographer named Jaidean Baker. Her photos of families are amazing. She seems to capture the soul of the family in her shots. Right now she's doing a giveaway on her site. Check her out. If you like what you see, enter to win. I'm positive you won't regret it.

Welcome spring, we've missed you.

After the hardest winter I can ever remember, spring is finally starting to show itself. Not a moment too soon either.

We hit 66 one day this week. It was absolutely glorious!

With spring comes lots of playing outside. Zoe is a girl after her momma's own heart. She'd rather play in the dirt and with water than anything else.

Which is perfect since the nurseries in town have opened their greenhouses. We got a flat of pansies to plant in Zoe's very own pot.



She totally stopped, said "cheese" and let me snap a picture of her. She's totally a scrapbooker's kid.

The we totally had to fill up her watering can with water. That you can get from outside. For a 2 year old, it's the coolest thing she's ever seen. Water, straight from the house and just for her.

The finished product. I can't wait for it to grow.

Resurrection Cookies

This weekend my mom came over to do a little baking project with D & E. She found a recipe for Resurrection Cookies. The making of the cookies tells the Easter story. It was the coolest thing.

The only thing we would do differently is to add less pecans. Here is the recipe:

1 C pecan halves
1 tsp vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch of salt
1 C sugar
Zipper baggie
wooden spoon
wax paper
tape
Bible

1. Preheat oven to 100 F. Place pecans in a zipper baggie and let children beat them with a wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested he was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3

2. Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30

3. Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11. Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into teh bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27

4. So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the sweetness part of the story is that Jesus died because He loved us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16

5. Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12-15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity of God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3

6. Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper and cover cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid. Read Matthew 27:57-60

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven off. Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read Matthew 27:65-66

7. GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' follwers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20-22

8. On resurrection morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Resurrection day, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matthew 28:1-9

The cookies were indeed cracked.


And hollow. Which is where a few less pecans would've shown that better.

The girls loved the story, making the cookies and realizing they were hollow the next morning.

Due Date

In September 2006 I was given April 6th as Zoe's due date. I looked forward to this date and thought it was the perfect time of year to be born. When the seasons are changing, the flowers are blooming. It was the start of my new role as a mother.

I know I frequently talk about Zoe's birth, but when something unexpectedly changes how you view life and more importantly, deepens your relationship with God, days like April 6th bring all those memories to the forefront once again.

Hanging in Zoe's room is a poem that my mom gave to me before we even knew we were having a girl. It had a place for the ultrasound picture along with a place to mark the date of the ultrasound and the due date. On November 17, 2006 we found out we would be having a girl. That evening I filled in the information on the poem and placed Zoe's picture in there.

Forever it will read April 6, 2007 as her due date.

To see that brings tears of joy and tears of sadness. Joy that we are both here, both miracles that God allowed.

Yet there are tears of sadness. Memories really of all those days I spent in the hospital, so sick, so full of pain, so full of guilt that I could've done something from preventing my liver from rupturing. Memories of Zoe struggling to remember to breathe, being swollen from the C-pap machine, the IV's, the blood transfusions, the hours spent crying that I had to leave my baby for another day.

April 6th became to mean the date she may get to come home. Most preemies stay in the hospital until her due date.

After I was discharged, we had 7.5 weeks to go until April 6th. It was the longest 7 weeks of my life.

On April 2, 2007 we got the call we had been waiting for. We needed to bring an overnight bag to the hospital to spend the night with Zoe before she got discharged in the morning. I spent most of April 2nd at the hospital, learning CPR, how to use the oxygen mask should Zoe forget to breathe. It was the first night ever that I had spent in the same room as my daughter.

It was exhaustingly glorious.

She came home April 3rd, three days before her due date.

Yet April 6th seems to hold the meaning.

Today, April 6, 2009 Zoe is talking, running, dancing, tumbling, coloring, singing, cuddling, climbing and feeding herself, just like all other 2 year olds. On April 6, 2007 you couldn't have convinced me that in 2 short years the 6 pound baby that I cradled would grow into this amazing toddler that I get to love on daily.

Thank you Lord for my miracle. Thank you for making her healthy, strong, opinionated, smiley, cuddly and perfect. I am so blessed to be alive, by your grace, to watch her grow into this lovely, little girl. Thank you for teaching me, in those 7, long weeks to cherish each moment with her. You held her in that NICU and You hold her today. Thank you for blessing me beyond what I deserve.

Friday Five Faves - The picture edition

Last night was Zoe's first gymnastics class. Or so I thought! It starts next week, but isn't she so cute (even with the toilet paper roll cast!).

For Halloween Zoe was a butterfly with a tutu. She LOVES her tutu. So much she practices her jumps, twirls and kicks all evening.

Afterward she watches herself bow in the oven.

After all that work with the dancing and the getting ready for a fake gymnastics class, our diva took a few minutes to watch some cartoons.

I'm sorry for the totally mommy post, but that is my favorite role of all.

Some bunny is a total ham

Head, shoulder, knees and tongue

Zoe learned a new body part this week. Can you guess what it is?

Sorry the picture is so blurry.