How to Perfect The Roll

Up from our house is an elementary school or as Zoe calls it "the park." When the weather is nice, we take Zoe up there for some swinging, sliding and general energy-draining activities. I'm not sure what happened in the last month, but this girl has more energy than time in the day.

Perhaps I've just lost some of mine.

Last Friday N came with us. It's always a treat to have him with us because 1) he typically has more energy than I do to play along with Zoe and all her energy-draining things and 2) because he works so much, we don't get to see him for a good portion of the week. We like to have a little family bonding time when he's home. He graciously offered to have that bonding time at the "park".

When he comes along, he tends to teach Zoe some crazy things. He tried to teach her how to jump off a swing. Which she tried and ended up needing her hand kissed because she got a boo-boo from it. Poor thing got his need for adventure and my coordination.

He also taught her this, which I can't confirm or deny may have been my idea:

What? It's Not All About Me?

Our interim pastor is doing a study in Philippians about this life not being all about me.  Or you.  Actually it's not about any person.  I don't know why I feel like I have to qualify that.  Other than because I feel like I'm being kinda pushy about it. 

Anyway.  Back to where I was.  Life isn't about me.

It couldn't have come at a better time.  I'm always falling into the all about me trap.  A pity party is something I like to host for myself a few times a year.  I serve chocolate and tissues because the tears, oh do they flow.

It usually happens when I'm feeling overwhelmed.  Which is often because I tend to be a controller.  I like to plan and I expect that plan to work.  99.9% of the time God has something completely different in mind.  When the change in direction happens, I have a farwell pity-party for my great idea and go God's way.  I'm sure He's rolled His eyes on more than one occasion at my lack of trust.  And my grieving process. 

N's close to finishing school.  He's got one more year in his program.  The interesting thing is, he can get a job in his field now, with only one year under his belt.  It would be really great if he could get something in his field.  Mainly because the job he has now, while we're greatful to be employed, isn't what he wants to be when he grows up.

I can feel a snap coming.  It's not really a snap, but more of a bend.  I'm trying really hard not to let my ideas form.  I'm trying really hard to just say, "God, show us your way." 

Since that's basically the topic at church, I decided to read through Philippians and see what God was saying to me.  I came across Philippians 4: 6 & 7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Sometimes I think He's talking straight to me. 

I See A Haze of Yellow

I'm one of those crazy people who like a winter.  I like snow on the ground.  I like to shovel.  I like playing in the white stuff.  I LOVE IT.

Now I have one more reason to love winter.  It kills all the weird stuff that mild winters don't.  This spring has been horrible for my allergies.  I constantly sound like Nicholas Cage playing Charlie Bodwell in Peggy Sue Got Married.  That's not a pretty comparison.

This weekend N got some kind of charge to his system.  I think it's because one of our neighbors is this guy who on the first sunny day of spring is out mowing his yard, weed wacking and edging.  His yard is always done before anyone else's.  N has this crazy competitive drive to have the best looking lawn in the neighborhood.  He wants it to feel like carpet. 

He usually succeeds.  Our neighbor kicked him into high gear.  This weekend we spent hours outside thatching, pulling weeds, fixing sprinkler heads and generally getting the yard ready to become carpet.  Or something like that.

Zoe LOVES to be outside.  She now says, "I don't want to go home.  I don't like home."  That's her way of saying she'd rather sleep under the stars and be one with the wilderness.  As long as mom or dad is out there.  Apparently she's never met me.  Bugs love me and the wilderness and outdoors isn't really my favorite thing.  In an effort to keep her outdoors and allow me to get some gardening done, I bought her some new gardening gloves.

We pulled weeds, pruned bushes and raked bark most of the weekend.  She wore her new gloves and shoveled dirt into her wheelbarrow, then dumped it to where I was working.  Then she'd cover her ears when daddy started some yard machine.

It was just a nice weekend of being outside as a family.  We all had our jobs and worked to get the yard in good shape.

Even though my eyes are involuntarily watering today and I sound like Charlie Bodwell again today, it's one of those memories that I'll take with me to the home. 

My Best Time

Last night, after dinner, Zoe looked at me with big eyes and said, "Mommy, going to the park right now would make my heart happy."  Those big eyes are my kryptonite and she knows it.

We got the jogging stroller ready, got her snacks, some water for both of us, my keys, my cell phone and some jackets.  It's always a production!

We quickly ran to the potty before we left because the park is actually an elementary school.  There are no potties there.

Her favorite thing to do at the park is play on the swings and go down the blue slide.  Last night there were a couple boys just her age playing at the park.  They pretended to be dragons and bats together while Zoe cheered them on.  Then they all found sticks and started to make things in the pebbles on the playground.  We made a volcano that erupted and was totally destroyed.  Then we swang.  When you have three little ones who can't get on the swings themselves or get them going or know how to pump, the mommy gets to run between all three, pushing, doing under-dogs and trying to keep her balance on that pebble-gravel stuff. 

I have the coordination of a rhino on ice skates.

Anyway, by this time the sun was getting lower and it was time to head home.  We washed our hands with my water and Zoe started on her snack.  About a block away from the school and any trees, I heard the word I dread in this situation.  "POTTY!" 

I'm not really big into running.  I think I've used our jogging stroller for jogging maybe 3 times.  Since it's uber allergy season, running isn't really that great for me.  Seeings how I can't really breathe well.  You overcome those things when a cute girl, with big, wild eyes is depending on you.

It's a full 1/2 mile back to our house.  About 1/4 mile in she started kicking her legs and moving around.  She yelled, "I'm doing the potty polka mommy!  HURRY!"

We made it a block away from our house before the accident happened.  At which point Zoe looked at me and said, "I'm soaked!  Oh no, it's ruined."

In between my gasps for breath I tried to comfort her and tell her that it's okay, but she thought maybe she should be out of breath too.  She started breathing like she had just run a 1/2 mile with someone doing the potty polka.

As I got her ready for a bath and she was still doing that gasping breath thing to imitate me, she looked at me and said, "that was a really fun time mommy.  Except for getting all wet.  Next time, can we not do that part?"

Absolutely.  Mommy lesson #735, next time we'll wear a pull-up.  Mommy needs better conditioning before sprinting 1/2 mile during allergy season.

Memory Is Tricky Business

Yesterday Zoe had a follow-up eye appointment.  Because of her prematurity, there was concerns about her vision.  I have concerns about her vision too.  Not because I don't think she can see, but because I fear she's inherited my vision and it's bad.  Very bad.

We sat in a doctor's office yesterday afternoon and they peppered me with questions about her possible cerebral palsy, vision concerns, hearing concerns, her growth and every other topic that surrounded her prematurity.  As I sat there with my 3-year old my lap I realized just how far we've come in the last two years.

Zoe is absolutely equal with her peers.  She's the same size, she has the same likes/dislikes for a pre-schooler and her vocabulary is fantastic.  She doesn't have cerebral palsy.  She doesn't have hearing problems.  She doesn't have weak lungs.  She doesn't need glasses.  She absolutely normal.  It was as though her due date was January 26th and not April 6th.

I know that God has truly held her in His hands since the moment she was conceived. 

How truly blessed are we.  Not because of the great outcome, but because she's alive.  Because she was even conceived.  Because we get to spend all our free minutes with her. 

I didn't need a doctor to remind me of that.  Or to tell me her vision is great.

She can spot an ice cream shop from miles away.

Might As Well Face I'm Addicted to....Blogging?

I haven't really shared much on here about certain things in my personal life.  Mainly because I wanted to see how it was going to work before I shared.  I joined Weight Watchers. 

Hi, my name is Kelly and I'm addicted to food.

I always thought those kinds of things were crazy.  You know what, they actually work.  I'm eating better.  I'm eating less.  Most importantly, I'm weighing less.

I decided to start a blog.  I know, that's crazy since I hardly post anything here!  It's really just my journal about my WW journey, but if you're interested, it's here.

I'm thinking about posting some things that are working for me, my set-backs and really just trying to keep myself accountable. 

It's Amazing How Much Your Head Sweats

This weekend D came over for a visit.  I love having her come to our house.  She settles into the routine without problems and it's like she just belongs.  It's like that with E too, but since she wasn't with us this weekend, that didn't happen.

Saturday morning D had a soccer game.  Fortunately for N it was at 11, so that meant we got to sleep in.  D asked me to do her hair.  That usually means small braids that pull back sections of her hair. 

Later that afternoon, we surprised her with a hair cut.  As we were taking out the braids, her hair was all wet and sweaty.  A sure sign of running a good soccer game. 

Nothing compared to the smile once she knew why we took her braids out.  She is all girl.  Loves the salon and loves a manicure (which we did this weekend too.  Both Zoe and D got their nails painted this weekend during some "girl time.")

I never thought I'd be the mom who loved having girly-girls.  But I do.  It's one of my favorite things, getting my girls all ready for church with their hair, their nails, their skirts and their earrings.  Maybe it's because I just love being involved in the process.  It's my job and there's nothing else I'd rather do!

It Warms My Heart and Hurts My Ears

Years ago, in my single life, one of the things I loved was tap dancing.  I practiced several times a week, had dance classes and even became an assistant teacher for a 3-5 year old class.  It was an outlet for me and really the first type of "sport" I was good at.

When I got married and moved away, I couldn't find a studio in Tacoma, so I gave up dancing.  Although there are times still, when I'll be walking down an aisle at the grocery store and start to do a riff walk rather than a normal, non-tap dancing walk.

Don't judge, it's part of my charm. 

Since Zoe turned 3 this year, that has opened up a world of opportunities for activities and classes.  We can do Mom and Me art classes, gymnastics classes and dance classes.  In July a 4-week session begins.  I think it will be a good opportunity to test the waters with Zoe and see if she's ready.  If the amount of time she dances at home is any indication, she's beyond ready.

Often times I'll hear "go daddy, go daddy, go daddy" to look up and see they've started a dance circle and daddy is busting his moves in the center.  Moments later I'll hear "go Zoe, go Zoe, go Zoe" to see it's her turn in the center.  Dancing is just part of who she is.  It comes naturally to her.

I decided to look up the studio's website and see if the July session's schedule was listed.  It wasn't, but the few pictures of tap dancing made Zoe scream, "I want to do that too!"

We got out her leotard, some socks and her black dress shoes.  I taught her a few moves from my days as an assistant teacher and she's not only ready for class, she's ready to teach it.

Go Zoe, go Zoe, go Zoe, go!

We Will Lose Our Saturday Mornings

This weekend began the spring soccer season.  We have two players in the family.  They never play at close to the same time or on the same complex.  That means there will be early Saturdays and lots of driving.

We're okay with it because we're some big fans.  D & E have their own cheering section at the games.  Usually there are at least 4 people at the games, plus a couple younger siblings. 

This year E isn't too keen on playing.  She mentioned that this will be her last season.  It's just not her thing.

D on the other hand, is all about soccer.  She typically plays goalie and in her first game the other team didn't score on her once. 

In good news, this Saturday is supposed to be 70 degrees.  Not only can we cheer on our favorite soccer stars, but I can work on my tan.

The Pink Dot

As she gets older, Zoe has ideas.  More ideas than hours in the day.  They usually involve something I'm not keen on doing.  Last night she informed me that it was time for a race.  She would say "ready, set, go" and I would need to run.  That falls into the category of "Mommy better think fast and distract her with another idea."  After being sick last week, I'm not as quick as I used to be.  I ran a few laps around the house.

It goes beyond things to do at night when I'm exhausted.  She hates going home.  She's rather go shopping.  She usually has a list ready.  Sunday night after bible study, she was not ready to go home. She actually wanted to just stay at church and wait for all her friends to come back.  After we piled her into the car she informed us that we needed to go to the grocery store because she needed a new iPod.  A yellow one.  The battery on my iPod ran out and we just needed to recharge it, but in Zoe's mind that translates into just buying a new one.

I thought D & E asking for one a couple Christmases ago was early. 

In an effort to thwart the iPod discussion, N and I distracted her with ice cream.  One of her favorite things to do is go to The Pink Dot for ice cream.  For those not in the mind of a 3 year old, The Pink Dot is actually Baskin Robbins.  It sounds quite a bit like Red Robin and that just confuses her.  She calls it The Pink Dot. 

Some chocolate chip ice cream on a sugar cone is her style, along with a cereal necklace from bible study.  It doesn't get much better than that.

Unless of course we went to the store for a yellow iPod afterward.

Easter...A Week Late

I've been a bit lacking on the blog lately.  For the last few weeks I haven't felt great and when I went to the doctor last week he told me I had pneumonia.  There is nothing that will zap all your energy faster than hearing a doctor say that word.  I spent most of last week in bed with my eyes shut.  According to N, there may have been drool.  You know how guys exaggerate.

I'm finally feeling like I have some energy.  I thought I would post some pictures from Easter since I still think I'm within the time period where it's okay to talk about it.

This year Zoe was totally on board with egg coloring.  However, she's got rules.  They can only be one color and no decoration.  All the fun of coloring with the wax crayon or putting stickers on them is totally out the window. 

Her eggs are all plain.  Except if you let her poke a pipe cleaner into them.  That's apparently okay.  Grandma found out the hard way.

We got up early for church on Sunday.  N played on the worship team.  The Easter bunny came to our house while we were at church.  He's a clever bunny, that one.  He his all our plain eggs and plastic, M&M filled eggs in the backyard.

We had one girl who couldn't wait to seek.  I think we've hidden the eggs about 527 times since then.  It hasn't gotten old yet.

Even without M&Ms.

Tears and A Loss

Zoe didn't get hair until she was about 2.  She's followed my footsteps in that.  When she did get her hair, she's got her daddy's hair:  thick and curly. 

These past couple months have been full of hair fights.  She "doesn't like her hair combed" and will scrunch up her shoulders so you can't get to it.  Finally last week instead of tears and scrunchy, I started talking up a hair cut.  I told of a world with chairs that looked like trains and horses.  I had her at the word train.

Friday afternoon we took her to get her hair cut.  I forgot my camera, but daddy had his phone. 

The second that drape was put around her neck, the tears started to form.  Then the wailing.  Then the "get me out of her wiggle" that makes cutting hair so much easier.

I held her in place while Edith, the sweetest lady ever, cut hair faster than I knew possible.

Then it was time for bangs and a brave smile.

Now we are three inches shorter, much more wavy and have fewer tears in the mornings!

Will You Join Me?

Several months ago N and I joined a small group bible study at our church.  It's made up of 6 couples, including us.  We're all about the same age and so are our kids.  It's the highlight of our week, not only for N and me, but also Zoe.  She knows Sundays are the day she gets to play with her friends not once, but twice because of small group.

Neither N nor I have ever been part of a group like this.  To say this group is a blessing would be an understatement.  We feel incredibly fortunate to count each of these people as our friends, prayer warriors and accountability partners.  In just a few months they've managed to work their way into our hearts in a very tangible way.

One of the couples in our group is going through something that, as a parent, I cannot comprehend.  Their 4 year-old daughter, Sara, was just diagnosed with cancer.  The good news is the doctors are confident that it's treatable and they can get rid of it. 

This family is a family who lives by faith.  They have been an example to both N and me.  If you feel so led, would you pray for this family.  We know that the Great Physician will be guiding this process every step of the way.  We know His plan is perfect.  As a parent you don't want to see your child go through this, even though He knows how it feels to see your child go through difficulty.

Just makes me want to squeeze our girls a little closer and a whole lot more tighter.

Even when they do squeal, "mommy you're squishing me."