Fire

I read an article a week ago that after a storm, there were 110 wildfires in Washington state.  Yesterday the article was updated to 230 wildfires in the state.  Most of them are happening in central Washington, not near where we are.

This weekend while I was driving to Umatilla, I could see smoke the closer I got to Ritzville.  One of the major fires is near Grand Coulee Dam, a place that I used to visit often as a child.  From I-90, it's only a short distance to the north.  Here is a picture of the skyline that I took with my phone, so imagine the colors a bit more vibrant. 

That middle section the looks like a gray dust cloud is the smoke.  In real life it's closer to black and limiting visability.

As I saw this, my heart broke for all those people who have to evactuate, send their loved one to fight the fire, or are fighting the fire!  So much devastation and loss.

It made me so grateful that our struggles and hurdles during this season aren't the kind that will bring death.  Some of you may know, but we are going through some legal challenges right now.  There are many times where we feel consumed.  Many times in the past my initial response is to evacuate, get out of the situation and protect myself from ever being in it again!  This battle we're in is something that both N and I feel we need to fight.  Instead of this being easy, it's become the opposite - it's become consuming. 

The song that keeps playing in my head is Refiner's Fire, which I think is ironic with what's going on in nature right now.  God can use some very large object lessons to get my attention.  In the song it says:

my heart's one desire is to be holy 

God doesn't want me to make good choices, He wants me to make godly choices.

God doesn't want me to be a good person, He wants me to be a godly person.

God doesn't want me to be a good wife, He wants me to be a godly wife.

God doesn't want me to be a good mom, He wants me to be a godly mom.

I am in the midst of the fire.  It's consuming.  It's uncomfortable.  Yet, I feel as though God is molding both N and me in ways only He could've planned. 

While I pray that the fires are contained and lives spared, the smoke and the ash that I see is a reminder that God is answering my prayer.  He is showing me what it is to be holy and godly.  He's getting rid of my comfort, my pride, me.  

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. (Jer. 29:13)