My Name Is Martha in My Dreams

Zoe's birthday is a big celebration in our house for many reasons.  Each year that we get to celebrate her brings my heart joy.  On her real birth-day, we had no clue if she would see age 1, let alone age 5.  Since hers is the only birthday where we get free reign, I tend to go a bit crazy. 

I'm notorious for coming up with a theme and then trying to make a party from the theme, rather than seeing what's available and going with something.  We've done:

Onderful Ladybuy Party

Tworific Garden Party (we planted seeds and Zoe was the only child to eat the dirt and seeds)

Footloose and Fancy Three (a music party)

Fantastic Four (a superhero party)

Then nothing fun went with five.  Zoe thought of a So Fairy Five party and make it a Tinkerbell party.  I loved it.  She came up with a theme using the word "five" that was cute and full of possibilities.  All of a sudden, without any warning, she thought that a fairy party was NOT COOL! 

I've racked my brain about things that rhyme with five.  None of them are what Zoe would like.  Why couldn't we do the music/dance party this year.  I could've gone on and on with Stayin' Five.  I'm sure I could've even found a white, polyester suit for N!  We could've given combs in their goody bags along with a disco ball.  The ideas...they don't stop!

Then we tried to decide how many kids and do we invite her class of 24 kids?  She already has, just not with an official invitation.  We have 47 kids on the list.  Granted, not all of them will come, but that's still quite a few kids.  Some parents my just drop them off!

How do you entertain possibly 47 kids for 90 minutes?  You do a carnival.  Thanks to Martha Stewart, who has already done a carnival theme, and Oriental Trading, all I have to do is implement!

This past week, we made 46 of these:

There's a ticket or tickets attached to the clothespin, depending on how many kids from that house is invited. 

I have to honestly say, this is the most kids we've ever had on the list, but it's been the easiest party to do.  I've even recruited some people to be carnies for each of the booths.

When you turn a whole hand, you either go big or go home right?

Attitude Check

I love the Bible.  I know that statement sounds a bit like I should be wearing a shirt that says "Jesus is my Homeboy" and passing out tracts.  The truth is, it's a book that provides me nothing but wisdom, guidance and reassurance.  There is one book of the Bible that I tend to avoid.  I know what you're thinking, it's got to be one of those books of the minor prophets like Habakkuk.  While those can drag a bit, it's a book written by a guy who was 1 degree away from Jesus.  Granted I'm pretty sure they didn't play 6 Degrees of Jesus back in the day, but how cool would that have been.

I'm referring to James, the half brother of Jesus.  Maybe it's just me, but anytime I study James, I go through a rough patch.  The book is very small, but it has 67 commands in it on how to live your faith in your daily life.  It deals with things like gossip, taking the plank out of your eye before you take the speck out of someone else's, reliance on God through trials and our attitude, to name a few.  It never fails that God will give me no less than 67 chances to work on each of these.  While Jesus died and rose again for me, James convicts me. 

I can tell you right now, it's actively happening and we just started the study on Sunday!  We only studied the first 4 verses.  My friends, that's the power of James.

Things in life aren't where I pictured we'd be today.  Our family isn't in the place we thought we'd be in.  It's hard.  Really hard to be separated the way we are and basically being a single parent during the week.  It's hard working full-time when my heart is at home with Zoe.  Nothing in this moment is where my heart is.  Yet I know that's our future.  I know that's what God is preparing me for; preparing our family for.

Of course God would lead me to the study of James.  I need a checkpoint to make sure my eyes and my heart are focused on Him rather than on this situation.  I need James, despite the fact that he's the guy I only want to have coffee with every few years. 

blessed.grateful.

As I look back at 2011, I feel complete.  There are so many things that happened last year.  Our lives seem to be getting busier rather than into a routine.  God definitely doesn't keep us comfortable for long.

I'm amazed at where we are today.  Honestly, I never thought I would have this life.  For the first time in the 7 years we've been together, it feels like N and I have caught our stride.  Instead of the 7 year itch, we've got the 7 year...whatever the opposite of itch is!  I'm so proud of N.  He's accomplished so many things this year that I think he's finally seeing himself as I see him.  He's now a college graduate.  Because of that, he's found his dream job, was hired out of several candidates and is now being groomed for leadership roles.  He's finally in a place where he's encouraged and appreciated.  Even though we spend the weeks apart, there is a peace that this is God's plan.

We entered the teenage years with the start of school this year.  Despite all the talk about having a teenager, it has been a smooth transition.  D is making excellent choices with friends.  She loves youth group.  We are so proud of the young lady she is becoming.  I can't say enough great things about her.  All my fears have been taken away.  God definitely has hold her heart!

We have E back!  For a long period of time we didn't get to spend time with E.  She didn't want to come see us, didn't want to participate with us.  It was hard.  It felt like we lost her.  Just as quickly, she's back, engaging us, hanging out with us and being the spunky kid that we love.  It was a huge answer to prayer to have this change happen.  We missed her!
Zoe is...there are so many things that I could finish that sentence with.  She constantly amazes me.  Her heart is compassionate for those hurting or left out.  She collects friends and despite them excluding her, she just wants to include them.  She lives her life in a play.  There are lines, scenes and new characters each day.  I have to pay close attention to any movie we watch as I'll need to remember the lines, scenes and what everyone said.  She'll bust out the lines in our normal conversation.  In Toy Story 2, Jessie calls Woody, "Wood-DEE."  Just the other day she was talking to N and referred to him at "Dad-DEE."  I am so enjoying watching her enjoy and live life.  She's a great daughter, friend, she prays for those around her and her heart is full of love for the people in her life. 

2011 brought a contentment that I have never felt.  10 years ago if you had said that I would be willing to be a stay-at-home-mom, a children's ministry volunteer, cook, clean and do laundry as my "job" I would've laughed in your face.  Now, that's my heart's desire.  Being involved in children's ministry at church has filled my soul.  God has taught me so much about Him, life and myself through these various ministries.  He's also refined me into what a wife and mom should be. 

While 2011 was a growing, refining and maturing year, I can't wait for 2012.  God is showing me my purpose.  He's showing my family our purpose.  I'm so incredibly blessed to have His grace and mercy each day as He guides me through this journey. 

A New Phase

This week was a big week for our house.  N had a huge exam at work.  We're talking a possible career ending exam.

Through the US Army Corps of Engineers, he's in an apprenticeship program.  That means he has 28 months to pass 8 phases of the program.  At the end of that time, he'll have the equivalent to a Bachelor's degree in hydro-electric power.  It's not an easy program. 

At the end of each phase he has to test out of it.  If he fails so many of these phase exams, he's released from employment.  The first phase he passed last summer before returning to school.  It was Dam 101 and he passed with flying color.  This second phase has been a concern.  It included basic electrical theory.  N is a hands-on, practical learner.  There's no way to get his hands on electricity to fully understand it.  Mainly because if he did put his hands on electricity, it's highly likely that he wouldn't remember a thing!  We've committed this phase to prayer since he returned in July.

I'm so pleased to announce that he passed his phase exam yesterday.  It was such a relief and a HUGE answer to prayer.  Not necessarily because of how hard the material was, but because it gave N the confidence he needs to know that this is where God has him.  The reason is because it's where N is going to shine. 

Zoe and I are so proud of him.  I know this was a stressful test, but we couldn't be more excited for N.  Seeing him succeed makes all this distance between us worth it.  Last night at the store Zoe wanted to buy him a present for passing his big test.  I love how she loves N.  It's with everything she has.  His success are ours as well.

N,

We are so proud of you.  Not just for passing this test, but for overcoming your fears and pushing through with the electrical theory.  We always knew you could do it! 

Love you,
Kelly and Zoe

One Out Of Two Ain't Bad

Since Christmas is coming, it's time for programs, programs, programs!  There is nothing Zoe likes more than standing on a stage entertaining the masses.  Give that girl a microphone and she will provide you with hours of entertainment. 

If Daddy is home, that also means there will be a music video.  He gets the video camera, she gets all primped and ready, he says "action" and her made-up song is recorded for play back immediately!  Even now when she watches them, Zoe will say, "I loved that song.  It was one of my favorites that I made up.  I'll have to perform it for my talent show."  Apparently she's rounding up kids for her talent show in the summer.  One of her friends mentioned he can pick up his baby sister all by himself and Zoe invited him to the talent show, because that is awesome and amazing!

You can imagine our excitement for Christmas program time because 1) she's a performer and 2) you never know exactly what you're going to get from Zoe.  We found out the she got to be Mary in her Pre-K program.  It was the coveted spot because 1) it put her in the front row and 2) she's Baby Jesus's mommy...there's only one of those!  Her Pre-K class has 26 children.  There are 4 teachers and they do an amazing job with these kids.  We were curious to see how they would do the Christmas story with so many children.  It was adorable.

They had three kids be camels, 6 angels, three wise men, three shepherds, 4 sheep, 4 birthday kids, 1 star, Joseph and Mary.  They sang a song about Mary holding Jesus and Zoe had to pick up the baby doll, cradle him and rock him.  In very-un-Zoe-like fashion, she never cracked a smile.  Apparently she was in character.  Once the Mary headpiece came off, she was all smiles. 

Afterward, we had birthday cake for Jesus.  Zoe took her cake, sat next to her friend Michael and said, "so how's your day?"  Michael just looked at her like, "we're having the same day, it's good."  She makes me proud.

Sunday was the Sunday School program at church.  We've been practicing "Come On Ring Those Bells" and "Joy to the World" for a few weeks.  She was very excited to be front row again, but with jingle bells this time!  N and I were sitting in the foyer watching them practice when her teacher brought her out.  For the first time in years, she looked scary.  She had no color at all.  Her lips were the same ashen color as her cheeks.  As soon as I held her, she turned into a ragdoll.  Talk about freaking mommy out.

I know that look.  We made it to the bathroom just in time.  She just wanted to go home.  We did, she slept and woke up as a new woman.  We missed singing in the Sunday School program, but I don't think she minded it.  She was ready to play some Wii as soon as she woke up, so I think our girl is back.

I'm positive that since she missed her chance to sing in church, we'll be making some music videos of her new tracks tonight.

Christmas Came Early

Yesterday was a day that we've been waiting for.  It marked many milestones:  health, arrival and 10 pounds, 6 ounces of more to love.

Our sister Amanda gave birth to twins yesterday.  Aren't they all precious?

Zoe and I have had a countdown to mark December 14th for awhile.  We've had updates and much prayer.  These babies are so loved.  Zoe and I are ready to hop on a plane to Texas to shower these bundles with love.  Zoe is quite certain that she'll play with H-J and help feed the twins because Aunt Mandy only has two hands and she's going to need some help!

I'm sure that Aunt Mandy and Uncle Brian would like us to visit in about 6 weeks, after mom leaves and the routine starts.  Not to mention, after cold and flu season has passed our house!  That's when we'll get the most holding and smooching time!

Mandy and Brian,

Congratulations on your newest girls.  Having three girls is the most rewarding thing you will ever experience.  We have loved all your girls from the moment we found out about them.  We thank God that He brought all three of you through this pregnancy and that you're all healthy and perfect. 

We are counting down the days until we can come there, shower you all with love and spoil all your girls rotten.  We love them as our own and thank God for you both.  You are amazing parents and I know God has His perfect plan for your family.  We are excited to walk this journey with you.  Give all your girls kisses and hugs for us. 

Love all 5 of you to pieces.

N and Kelly

Sometimes She Makes Me Laugh Until I Snort

The age 4 is one of my all-time favorite ages.  It just so happens that's Zoe's age.  I'm not sure if her humor is growing at the same pace as her legs, but it sure seems to.  For the last week, she's done something that makes me laugh until I snort.  Here are a few excerpts:

While cutting her bangs:

M:  Please sit still.  If you keep moving while I'm cutting I'll take a big chunk of hair out. 
Z:  *wiggles and itches*
M: Here's the deal, if you have to move or itch or whatever, let me know and I'll stop cutting.
Z:  (in all seriousness) Mommy, can I still toot?

Commenting on her new underwear

Grandma:  What kind do you want to wear today, Hello Kitty or Tinkerbell?
Z:  Hello Kitty please!
Grandma:  *pulls out the new underwear*
Z:  Really?  Those are huge!

Eating dinner at a restaurant

Z:  *whining* I just want my ice cream, RIGHT NOW!
M:  Zoe, that's not how we talk.  If you can't be nice and patient, we can leave before your ice cream comes.
Z:  Yes, sir!  *puts her hand up to her forehead and salutes me*
M:  Zoe, we don't talk like that.
Z:  Yes, sir! *put her hand up to her forehead and salutes me totally oblivious to the fact that little action is what I'm referencing*