The False Eyelash Scare

It is the end of the school year.  We made it through 1st grade with flying colors.  The last 6 weeks have included:

• Musical Drama Club where Zoe was a mime - completely amazing performance
• Passing her second AWANA book and receiving an award ribbon for it
• A trip to Spokane to get my mom's house on the market - includes building a deck, painting the outside of the house, replacing a dishwasher, electrical outlets, packing, moving, and dumping loads of garbage
• End of year homework
• Dance recital necessities - underwear, make-up, tights, tickets for the recital so Zoe wasn't performing for her imaginary family!
• Awards day - Zoe got a character award for orderliness.  She likes to know what's happening, how to do things and where everyone should be.  Bless her teacher's heart for recognizing a gift that God has given our girl
• Summer activity coordination - swim lessons, acting class, dance class, dance camps, tennis lessons, VBS...
• Field Day participation - my legs are still sunburned
• Rollerskating field trip
• Dentist appointment to get cavities filled and a tooth "wiggled out" (bless those dentists and their understanding of kid fear.  They were so amazing Zoe has no clue how they actually numb her mouth!)
• Dance pictures and recital prep

The last one on the list gave me actual anxiety.  We have a large sheet of paper about recital make-up.  We had specific requirements for what colors, what brands and what all she needs.  Essentially I have made my child look like those Toddlers and Tiaras reality show kids.  According to the paperwork, because she's in preparatory classes, she doesn't need false eyelashes. 

WHAT?!?  False eyelashes? 

The paper said, "we recommend practicing with them prior to the day of the recital.  If you need instruction, please bring them to class and we can help you."

Because I wear tinted moisturizer as a foundation, don't even wear mascara most of the time, and have only worn false eyelashes at my wedding, I'm going to be that parent who needs False Eyelashes 101.

Apparently the kids a couple levels above Zoe, who are like 8, have to wear false eyelashes.  I thought we'd be home free for another year on that false eyelash thing.  NOPE!  Zoe is such a natural at dance, she's skipping preparatory II classes and going straight to false eyelash-wearing dance-naturals class, which is an ironic statement.

Here is my child who, despite the pounds of make-up, can still shine through.

I'm absolutely proud of this kiddo.  She is a friend to all, willing to try, faces fears with a brave heart and loves with all that she is.  God sure has blessed me.

In The Vortex

Do you ever have those times where you’re sure this moment in time is what is going to lead your child straight into therapy when they’re adults?

This week month is full of mom failure. 

Those therapists can thank me later.

We have approximately 6,452,714 things to do with end of year activities.  Around item #3, I start to go glassy-eyed and go to my happy place.  I actually woke up at 3:00 am vaguely remembering an e-mail about dance recital tickets and buying them before they sell out.  I had a mild panic attack that I forgot the date and Zoe would be performing for her imaginary family. 

This is the kind of stress that end-of-year brings.  It’s been testing weeks at school, so I have mild panic attacks during the day that consist of:

Did we have homework last night?  Did I pack her lunch?  Did I pack a snack?  Did she even have shoes on today?  She wanted to wear her dangly earrings and I got busy packing her lunch.  Praise God she got food, but I did forget the earrings.  Then the rest of the day is being concerned that I forgot her earrings and this will make her day the worst day in the history of ever.  Oh the drama!  When that happens, the Holy Spirit has to work on overdrive so there is patience and understanding that only divine intervention can bring and both Zoe and I live to see the next morning.

While I’m trying to process all these “did I” questions, I’m making lists to schedule the hair appointment, the dog grooming appointment (we discovered he’s molting, like losing chunks of winter coat and hello disgusting), buy tickets for the children’s theater play, make the grocery list, make the Costco list, try to remember what days we signed up for snacks, and all the appointments and lists keep coming into my brain.

At this very moment, I’d like to honor parents who have more than one, little person they care for.  We have women in our church with 6 or 7 children, plus they homeschool.  When I think about all they have to remember, I put the title Saint in front of their name.  Bless them.  God has given them many gifts that I am totally in awe of.  Totally in awe of. 

Sometimes I think God has a funny sense of humor.  During all this chaos and activity, He’s blessed me with allergies.  These aren’t normal because even though we’ve come through the Polar Vortex, we are now in the Allergy Vortex.  At this very moment all the alder and birch pollen within a 1,000 mile radius has taken up residence in my sinus vortex and momma can’t think, let alone stay awake for very long. 

When you add this all together you can call this the Mom Failure Vortex.  It is where good intentions meet reality.

Lately I’ve been feeling as though I’m running 100 miles per hour and not getting anywhere.  I feel behind and edgy and that I’m not giving my best.  My people suffer when I’m like this.  I’ve been feeling discouraged. 

Then I read this:

The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deut. 31:8)

I promise you, the Holy Spirit has my number on speed dial.  Bless my vortex.

And I came home to a husband who did the dishes and cleaned the showers. 

Somehow it all came into perspective.  Nothing came off my list and none of the responsibilities diminished.  However, in the midst of it all, I had Hope and Joy.  All remnants of discouragement vanished. 

Bless my vortex indeed.

Do not challenge her...

Each night at dinner, Zoe prays.  It started out years ago when she would only do it every so often.  Now she asks to do it.  Even if we do some kind of random game and the last person has to pray, she will rig the game so she's the last one.  I love that she loves to pray.  It warms this momma's heart.

Sunday at dinner, N tried teasing her and said he was the last one to do the game, so it was his turn to pray.  Zoe gave him the stink eye, which involves making her eyes bigger and staring at you.  So N stared back.  As they were doing the stare-down, Zoe says, "Dear God, thank you..."

She started her prayer.  It wasn't until N looked down, that Zoe did too.

This girl is fierce about praying for our meals.  She has an equally fierce wit because this will go down in the memory banks for years to come.  We could barely contain our laughter.

God is Speaking to Her

Zoe is anti-toothpaste.  I do not mean she uses it and just doesn't like it.  She smells it and starts to gag.  Zoe is a bit of a puker, so when the gagging starts, I immediately change direction.  No one likes to encourage that kind of thing!

Her adult molars are in and we have a loose tooth.  More adult teeth are making their appearance and I'm nervous about not using toothpaste to protect them.  While at the store last week, I bribed her with a new toothbrush if she would pick out toothpaste she might want to try.

After much wailing and gnashing of teeth, she choose the toothpaste with sparkles under the condition that we pray about her fears first before I ever suggest she use it.

Actually picking out toothpaste is a huge leap, so I took the deal.  It's all about small victories in our house. 

Fast forward to last night. 

Zoe:  Mom, God has put it on my heart to use toothpaste.

Me:  Like, He's putting it on your heart right now and you're going to try it tonight?  *insert my silent prayer of thanks and pleading*

NO!  Nothing like that.  *insert eye roll like I've told her the most ridiculous thing ever*  He's telling me I should use it, but He hasn't given me a timeline of when yet.

I guess the negotiating phase isn't anywhere near finished!

What's the plan?

Each morning I’ve got the blessing of waking Zoe up for school.  It’s one of my favorite things every day.  She wakes up easy and usually happy.

I creep into the room and she doesn’t stir.  Usually when I open the door I’ll get a little, “good morning mamma.”  This time…silence.

Once I get over my irrational fear that she has stopped breathing and my world crashes down on me, I got next to her, rubbed her back and heard:

So what’s your plan?

My plan?  I don’t have a plan.

You said you had a plan.  What is it?

I didn’t say that, but I’m thinking we’ll get up, lay on the couch, have some breakfast and get ready for school?

Okay, but that’s not the plan I thought you had!

Clearly she was mid-dream and in that dream I had a plan.  She can’t tell me what was happening that I needed to have a plan, so clearly it wasn’t something cool like we were superheroes fighting to save the universe. 

I guess I need to work on a plan for that!

The Stomach Baby

Here’s a funny story that made N and I laugh.  Last night, I wasn’t feeling too great.  My stomach was in knots from stress and I just needed to lie down for a bit.  Zoe came up, snuggled into me and leaned down to kiss my tummy to make it feel better.  That’s the exact moment my stomach decided to make a noise.  Zoe looked up at me, wide eyed and obviously thinking something very important.

Zoe:  Oh my goodness!  Maybe you’re getting pregnant right now!

Me:  I don’t think that’s what is happening.

How do you know?  Didn’t your tummy hurt when you got pregnant with me?

Not really.  Sweetie, I can’t have more babies.

Are you sure?  Like, did a doctor tell you that?

Yes, a doctor told me that.

Oh man!  I was really hoping for an older brother!  Or I guess a younger brother would be okay.

N and I laughed so hard at her innocence and what she was willing to settle for. 

The Trouble With Afternoons

This week began a new phase:  all day school. 

Because we live in a place that is very close to the sun, our schools start earlier.  So Zoe started school this week. 

We officially have a 1^st grader!

Some anxieties about 1^st grade:

* it’s all day long

* will I know any kids

* will I have more homework

* what exactly do we do after lunch

* how can there be that much to learn to need to go all afternoon

* how soon after lunch will grandma pick me up

* why do I need three folders, what is going in them

* is there math, like lots of math

Some things we were totally excited about 1^st grade:

* 3 recesses

* lunch at school

As you can imagine, recess and lunch wasn’t really enough to tame the fears of the unknown.  We had a meet the teacher day, where Zoe got to find her desk, put all her supplies away and meet her teacher.  That helped some of the anxiety, but the all-day concept was still troubling. 

On day one, she had more excitement than nerves.

Until…third recess.

She slid off the play equipment she was sitting on and broke the fall with her nose.  Ever since the dreaded Stairs of Doom incident of 2012, Zoe has been prone to nose bleeds.  She is also notorious for breaking falls with her nose.  It’s is nothing short of a miracle that she has not yet broken her nose. 

On her first full day, we had a nose bleed, fat lip and marks to her face, her parents were called to school, she met the school nurse and her first day outfit had blood on it.

On her second full day, we had hugs, friends showing concern and many people who prayed for her recovery.  I’m happy to report, we only have a little bruise on her lip that you can’t see unless she opens her mouth.  She assured me that she would NOT be doing that at all today.

Some things we’re totally excited about 1^st grade:  lunch, recess and all her best friends in the whole wide world who make her day extra special.

We still aren’t too excited about being there all afternoon, but maybe after 3^rd recess, where she will “not be playing on those bars anymore” we will have a change of heart.

Christmas Program

Last night was Zoe's school Christmas program.  She has been talking for weeks about being a dove in the program and she couldn't wear glitter or heels.  We received a letter that the boys would be wearing red ties and the girls needed a fancy dress.  Zoe was beyond excited to get some more miles out of her favorite blue, twirly dress. 

The program was held at a local church.  Two of Zoe's classmates are members of the church and their dads are pastors there.  She was beyond excited to go to Addy's and Caleb's church for her Christmas concert! 

When we got there, we found her awesome teacher Mrs. Wood and some of her classmates.

What's funny is a little girl in the back totally photobombed me! 

Aren't they so cute all dressed up and ready to perform?  Knowing this was her second to last day with these wonderful people made me a little teary all night.  These are, quite simply, some of the best people I've ever had the privilege of knowing.  These children love each other like family.  Their parents genuinely care about each of our families and we all get along!  Mrs. Wood...there is not enough words to describe how incredible she is.  God has truly blessed her with a gift for teaching.  I am so blessed that she was Zoe's teacher.

The kids sang a song called "The Friendly Beasts."  It's about the animals in the stable being the first to welcome the Son of God to earth that night.  Zoe's part was the dove!



Because I have an "in" with the pastor's wife, I got second row to take these pictures of our girl.  When she spotted me, she waved and gave me this smile. 

Throughout the night I watched as families beamed with pride for their kiddos.  Absent was N.  While leaving these beautiful people is going to be hard, I'm beyond excited to share future events with him.  I know this is where God is leading us.