Yesterday I was reading through some old e-mails. When I say old, I mean almost 2 years old. In history, that's nothing. In e-mail world, that's a long time and 1,000's of e-mails later. I think it would be safe to say that e-mail time is somewhat related to dog years.
I found an e-mail from December of 2006 when I was pregnant and blissfully unaware that both of us would be fighting for life in a mere 7 weeks. We were planning for the holidays and going to Hawaii to be with N's family for the new year. It's safe to say my biggest concerns were holiday shopping and what does a pregnant woman where on the beach in O'ahu?
On one hand I was glad that I could have a large belly and everyone would think my swimsuit was darling. On the other, it's humid in O'ahu in December and I'm not a girl who does well in heat, let alone when I'm packing another human.
Perhaps I should've remembered that before the basketball tourney last week. Oh how quickly I forget.
In several of the e-mails I referenced Zoe moving and being active. Was she ever! Those preachy What to Expect books said that my baby should have times of sleep and activity. I never thought Zoe slept. The girl moved ALL the time. I think her moments of sleep were from 5:00-7:00 every morning and that's it. That was a scary thought!
I found one e-mail in particular that made me cry. It wasn't about anything in particular. It told about N and I sitting on the couch, he was playing some computer game, I was watching Food Network (let's face it, that's a pregnant woman's channel), we felt Zoe move and got so excited. She was getting stronger.
I don't why that particular e-mail touched me so much. Probably because we still get just as excited to see her crawl or climb or eat with her very own fork. Now she joins in with the clapping and the excitement.
In December of 2006 I couldn't wait to meet her, see her personality and love on her. I was experiencing a small glimpse into my life as an expectant mom.
Now in July 2007 I see the personality that's coming out and realize that everything I had prayed for came true. She finds the joy in life, she smiles all the time, she has ideas that she's not afraid to share, she's confident and growing into such a fun girl.
I was cuddling with her before bed last night and she reached out to run my arm. I realized God answered a prayer I never asked for out loud. She's also full of so much love.
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