In addition to a sold house and spending some time with the animals, I got some new Nike kicks. To truly appreciate why this is important, I must give you some history.
The day after our wedding, N and I had some time to kill. We weren't leaving for our honeymoon until the next morning, so we went shopping for some comfy airplane clothes. That's what everyone does the day after their wedding!
Part of my airplane ensemble was a new pair of Nike Shocks. They were beautiful. White. Silver. Pink. I loved them. I wore them with pride.
On the return flight, I wore them again. They were, afterall, my airplane shoes. Back in the day, I would sleep on the plane to make the flight go that much faster. I'm sure N was so glad he had me for his life's travel partner at that point. I'd take out my contacts, put my glasses on and rest my head on N's shoulder. Plus that particular return flight happened to be on my 28th birthday. As you get older, you need more sleep.
We landed in LAX. I had my old prescription glasses. Anyone who wears contacts knows that when you go from your current prescription contacts to old prescription glasses you tend to not see as well. Especially since the glasses were about 4 prescriptions old.
I needed to use the restroom. The very first stall that I came to was open and appeared to be clean. I took it. As I was in there I realized that someone did not feel well next to me. The smell kept getting worse. That's when I discovered why the very first stall was available. I was stepping in human poop. In my new Nike Shox.
Because I couldn't see very well at a distance, you can only imagine how close I came to it. I quickly ran to the sink, washed my hands, put in my contacts and began the process of trying to de-poop my shoes. Unfortunately all my other shoes were in my luggage on their way to the next leg of our journey.
I'm stuck in my human poop shoes on my birthday for who knows how much longer.
All the while, N is waiting outside the restroom for me. When I finally emerged a changed woman, he said I was in there for about 40 minutes. He was about to send someone in there for me. Then he saw my eyes. They were almost teary.
As the new husband that he was, he demanded that I tell him what was wrong. I could barely get out the words human and poop. Then when I did, he kept a good 20 feet between us. That's love!
When we got home, I quickly disinfected the shoes until they smelled only of bleach. I probably should've just thrown them away, but after spending a small fortune on them, I wasn't going to let that LAX incident stop me.
I've been wearing them ever since. Always reminded of why we fly into John Wayne airport rather than LAX.
Now we've walked many more miles, always careful to avoid poop of any kind. It is time I say good-bye to my human poop shoes and onto the next chapter of Nikes. My new ones are black, so they'll hide everything and pink. Plus they're part of the Livestrong line, which I'm positive I'll need to be if we ever get to LAX again.
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