It Was The Best of Both and The Most Irritating

It's funny to watch your children grow and to see how their personalities come through.  There are times when you look at your husband and say, "she totally gets that from you" and there are times he looks at you and says the exact same thing.  Then there are times you watch your child and have no freakin' clue where they get something and realize it's 100% just them. 

What's been fun about Zoe is seeing both N and I come out in her and realizing what is all Zoe.  When we went to visit family in Austin, they'd make comments that she's just like N was at that age.  Apparently N and I were very similar as children.  We would've both been described as hams and very social.  If you've met Zoe, you know that's true for her as well.

Some qualities are coming out in her that are found in both N and me and I'm scared for her.  Yesterday at the playland a little girl who was 4 was there with her older brother, who was 10 and their grandma.  The little boy picked up his 4 year old sister.  Immediately Zoe thought she could lift the girl too.  She tried.  I'm almost positive I've never attempted to lift anything that I was sure I couldn't lift.  That is all N coming out in her.  He routinely tests his strength.  I find Zoe's act very dear and a little disturbing.  We will have to work on who you should and shouldn't attempt to pick up. 

I fear that will be an easier lesson than the other quality that has been coming out:  perfectionism. 

I hate to admit it, but she gets this one from me.  If I couldn't immediately do something, I just wouldn't even try it.  On one hand, it gave me a desire to excel.  On the other, it crippled me from trying new things.  Yesterday Zoe mentioned she cried at school.  When asked why, she said it was because she didn't know her numbers.

Zoe can identify her numbers.  She can even read time on a digital clock.  So I was confused.

When I pulled out her paper from the day I noticed they were tracing numbers.  The paper had several "3" in dotted lines that she was to trace.  Then there was a place without any dotted number that she was to write her own.  Instead of attempting, there were angry scribbles.

I asked her if that was what she meant, that she didn't know how to write her numbers?  She said yes and that she cried.

The teachers handled it well and told her we all had to practice writing them to learn how.  Which is exactly what we told her. 

I was the kid who would get so upset with myself for not being perfect or not immediately knowing how to do something.  My mother was someone who constantly encouraged me and never put pressure on me to be perfect.  It was all the notion from my very own mind.

Zoe has it too.

At age 3.

I know what I put my mom through.  She wished me luck yesterday.