Bare

Over the last several weeks I’ve been experiencing destruction.  Every thought, hope, dream, and desire has been stripped away.  I’ve been laid bare.  As I’ve tried to sort through all the emotions, I keep coming back to one:  grief.

What I have found interesting is that the meaning of grief not only applies to loss, such as death, but also a heavy burden.  The Greek word in the Bible is lupeo.  This means to affect with sadness or to throw into sorrow.  That’s where I’ve been.  The joy of life and the hope of the future vanished and instead, I’ve been thrown into sorrow. 

It’s been a season of many tears, even more unknowns and time on my knees asking God to show me His plan and purpose in this. 

Then I read from my devotion:

Pulling down strongholds is the demolition and removal of these old ways of thinking so that the actual Presence of Jesus Christ can be manifested through us.¹

All of my hopes and dreams have been good, but they are mine.  They are what I desired, not what He desires for us.  They have been a stronghold in my life of keeping me from fully relying on Christ for our future. 

Then I read this:

…repentance precedes deliverance, and deliverance often leads to healing in other areas.¹ 

As I was sitting in church yesterday and our pastor said that we are to confess our sins and then worship, the first naturally progresses to the second. 

Sometimes it’s as though God is speaking directly to me.  He is very clearly demolishing strongholds and leading me to repentance.

Despite all of this, one thing has remained:  peace. 

I’m sitting here today broken, bare and without a thought.  Yet, for the first time in months, I have hope for the future.  Not because I have any expectations, rather a peace that the future is His and a hope that He will deliver me.

¹ “The Three Battlegrounds” by Francis Frangipane