A Future Hope

This past month has been somewhat of a whirlwind, which is shocking to me since the rest of 2014 seemed to drag on.  Yet as I look back on the year, I see exactly what I learned:

Dependence

God continually showed me just how little control I have.  By little, I really mean none.  When I would think that I knew God’s plan, He said, “nope, that’s not it.”  For most of 2014 I felt behind, felt that I lacked energy to do anything beyond breathe in and go through the motions.  I had big plans:

*Harvesting a garden – I only planted it, picked a few veggies and let weeds take over

*Planting flowers – I think I weeded twice and NEVER picked any for my table

*Stain our new fence – it’s a lovely shade of natural woods meets nature

*Organize my craft supplies – it’s all jammed in drawers, straining to be free.  Don’t open my craft closet!

*Dates with my daughter – Does grocery shopping count?

At each month there was some issue, life challenge, question that we could not answer on our own.  I felt overwhelmed, beaten down, worn and exhausted for most of the year.  I grieved the loss of relationships and dreams.  I can’t tell you how many times I cried at the mere thought of having to put laundry into the washing machine. 

Yet I was reminded each and every day that Jesus is “my ever-present help in time of trouble.”  None of the issues went away.  None of my days were so much easier.  Yet, I came through the year with a peace of knowing this is a season and God will use this for His plan…not mine.

As I enter 2015, it is with the intent to be intentional - to live with deliberate purpose.  I feel as though 2014 taught me dependence on Christ and a real lesson on the huge stronghold in my life that is pity.  I can very easily fall into a pity party.

This coming year my prayer is to be intentional with my walk with Christ, with relationships and with my time.  I have no idea what this year holds, but I do know that Jesus is at the helm.  He is guiding each of my steps away from 2014 and into His plan, His purpose.  For the first time, after a long year, with Hope.