God, the silent teacher?

I enjoy social media.  I find it fun to check in on friends, see prayer requests, share pictures and connect.  I always find it fun to see what people post.  I think it gives a really interesting glimpse into their personality.  What I’ve come to notice thought is that there is so much on the world wide webs that isn’t truth about God.  Today I was going through some social media and saw a picture that said:

“When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is,

remember that the teacher is always silent during a test.”

I’ve seen this picture probably 100 different times.  It’s never really stood out…until today.  I couldn’t stop thinking about it and couldn’t figure out why it stood out.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized it stood out because I don’t agree with it.  It’s false. 

These past few years have been one difficulty after another.  In the last 18 months, I’ve learned a lesson on dependence that I needed.  It has shaped my walk with God so drastically that I am blown away by where He has brought me.  I am grateful for His unfailing love and guidance.  However, my experience has been the exact opposite of that saying.  My Teacher has never been silent during difficulty.  In fact, it’s been the exact opposite and He promises that in the Bible:

Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

Psalm 9:9 “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.”

Psalm 62:7-8 “My salvation and glory depend on God, my strong rock.  My refuge is in God.  Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him.  God is our refuge.”

It doesn’t say that He is a silent teacher, it says He is a refuge, a shelter and protection.  When my daughter gets hurt or goes through difficulty, she comes to me as her refuge.  I am not quiet when she’s hurting, I’m consoling.  I’m an active participant in our interaction, guiding, teaching, consoling.  I’m not behind a desk, being quiet.  I don’t believe God is either.  When we come to Him, He is a help and a shelter to us.  That is the truth of the Bible.

So why does this saying ring true?  Because sometimes God is silent.

I’ve experienced His silence during great difficulty and it sucks.  It is one of the most isolating feelings.  I spent many hours doing the ugly cry where I can’t breathe; snot is running down my face and tears blind my eyes.  I’ve cried out asking where He is and why He’s not here.  I’ve shed tears, begging for Him to draw near to me. 

You know how He responds?  I’m not the one who is far away and I am not silent.  You are.

Each and every time God is silent it has been because of unconfessed sin in my life.  There was a period about a year ago where I was in deep difficulty and God was absolutely silent.  I would try to draw near.  Nothing.  I would beg and plead.  Nothing.  I would weep and pour out my heart.  Nothing.  I would question if He loves me.  Nothing.

I turned to the Bible and you know where He led me?  Matthew 6:24a, “No one can serve two masters.  Either you will hate one and love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other.” 

1 Peter 5:6-7 “Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.”

Very gently, very sweetly God showed me sin in my life.  I was serving my own pity and then seeking God.  I was loving the self-pity, the pour me syndrome.  I was serving that master and this sin had such a stronghold over me that I didn’t even realize how vast it was.  It looked like normal, human emotions that I felt I was pouring out to God.  Yet I was harboring these feelings as a justification for my action.  I was entitled to feel this way because of the great difficulty and injustice I was facing.  Hello sin!  As I repented of my sin of pity, He lovingly brought me into His presence and He spoke very clearly to me about what I was to do and who I was to be in this difficulty. 

In my experience, I’ve found that the Teacher is only silent when I am carrying sin around with me, when I’ve got some stronghold in my life that I am not dealing with.  The word humility/humble is mentioned over 50 times in the Bible.  To humble myself before God means to lower myself in importance, rank, status.  It’s not my human nature to do this.  Yet, the more I do this, the more I hear God so clearly it’s like He is next to me.

We are currently going through some great difficulty.  My human nature wants to deal with it and take action.  I’m ready to face this head on.   I am battle ready.  I’m armored up and ready to fight injustice.  I’m bouncing around the field, sword in hand, ready to attack. 

As I confess and seek God, you know what He’s telling me?  Rest, seek me, be still. 

Is that what I want to do?  Nope.  Not even close.  I am so ready to attack.  Yet I know God is sovereign.  I know His plan is always best.  I know, even though this seems to prolong the difficulty, my Teacher isn’t being silent.  He’s just not having me take action toward the difficulty.  He’s having me take action toward Him. 

That isn’t a teacher during a test, it’s a Father actively leading His child through life.  So when I’m going through something hard and wonder where God is, I confess, seek His face and He draws near.