Are We There Yet?

Today, at this very moment, I'm in the middle of the proverbial wilderness.  If I'm being honest, I've been here a long time.  For the past couple weeks the Lord has been revealing some history to me.  

Exodus 15-17 tells the history of the Israelites leaving Egypt and going to the Promised Land.  God brings plagues to the Egyptians and parts the Red Sea yet drowns the Egyptian army so His chosen people can go to the Promised Land.  What miracles these were!

Just a few days into the journey from the Red Sea miracle, the Israelites start to complain.  They have so easily forgot the miracles the Lord performed.  This isn't what they thought would be their fate.  Yet, in the midst of the complaining, God still does miracles.

They don't have water.  They are thirsty.  God takes them to some water, but it's bitter.  God tells Moses to throw a tree in the water and miraculously, the water is sweetened.  Yet this wasn't His plan.  He was actually taking them to springs of flowing water, but He had to continually show them His power, His plan, Himself.  He had to wait until they trusted wholly and without knowledge of the future.

To complain means to express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event.  I need to confess, I'm a complainer!  I express dissatisfaction AND annoyance ALL.THE.TIME.  

What God has gently and ever so graciously helped me to see is that I harbor unbelief.  

I'm in the wilderness and He keeps showing me Him.  I keep complaining.  I keep forgetting His miracles, promises and character.  He has a plan and future for my life and I'm the kid who constantly says, in the most whiny voice, "are we there yet?"

I desperately want for the dreams that God has placed on my heart to come to fruition.  Yet I'm still wandering, waiting, and complaining!

This week, in the midst of a BIG hurdles, I met Jehovah Rapha.  This name of God means, The God Who Heals.

For my whole life I always thought this meant physical healing.  I learned this week, Jehovah Rapha heals emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically.  

I am emotionally exhausted.  I have no more to give, little things absolutely overwhelm me and I'd prefer to just give up.  Just typing this makes me tear up and feel completely overwhelmed with feelings of failure and no worth.  

Yet, for the first time in a long while, I have a flicker of hope.  My Jehovah Rapha is healing me as I type.  This week I'm away from my people doing work.  I have had to travel alone, which makes me nervous.  In the midst of all that, I have been constantly shown His love and protection.  I have even begun to smile again.

What a blessing it is to be the daughter of the King of all kings!  I am still in the wilderness, still waiting for His plan to be revealed, yet I know that I have lessons to learn.  While I sit at the bitter water waiting for it to be sweet, I know that there are abundant springs awaiting me.  I just have to believe that He is bigger than my doubt, my hurdles and my understanding.  This is the work of Jehovah Rapha, healing my weak spirit and leading back, ever so graciously to Him.