Die Hard

This week has been a bit turbulent. I'm coming off The Best Birthday EV-AR, so I don't have a fair view of what this week should look like.

Typically I like to celebrate my birthday for the entire week, so by those standards I should be sitting home, scrapbooking, hanging with N, playing with Zoe and not having to lift a single finger.

That's not realistic, unless say we won the lotto or I had a great uncle I've never met who left me millions.

I have better odds of contracting a flesh eating bacteria.

I'm just sayin'.

It just seems like every few months I have a check point with God. Like it's my turn through the buffet line and He keeps piling things on my plate. I know He'll help me with those things. He's promised not to give us more than we can handle (Phil. 4:13). However, sometimes I just feel like He has higher hopes for me than I care to realize.

This plate of mine. It is full.

We're on a new budget now that N is in school. He's been needing new tools for his courses. For those of you who know nothing of tools. They cost as much as a closet full of Manolos. While that creates a financial stress, N LOVES school. He comes home most nights with a new metal thing he's created. He keeps begging me to read the tool catalog like it's full of shoes or the latest fall trends.

I know how much the thought of school freaked him out. Yet this program is feeding his passion. The only thing I've ever wanted for him was to have a career he's passionate about.

Our house in Puyallup isn't selling. With the market being all freaked out by this lack of bailout decision, the housing market is the first to feel it. I got an e-mail from our realtor talking about renting it out or having the house foreclose. Neither of which are an option right now. The hope I had for this house to sell becomes less with e-mails like that. Yet I know God has a buyer for this house.

Then if that wasn't enough, my car died. It wouldn't even act like it wanted to start. I rubbed the steering wheel and totally knew how it felt. There are days I don't want to start either.

There is something about car trouble that freaks me out more than anything. Maybe it's because it usually starts with about $400 and some mysterious part no one has ever heard of. Maybe it's because when it comes to cars, my knowledge is limited. To the extent that I know where the key goes, the gas goes and which ones would look oh-so-cute in my driveway.

Fortunately, after some inspection and jumper cables, it was determined to just be a dead battery. Which is about the same price as a tank of gas. In the big scheme of car maintenance, that ain't bad.

I'm standing in the automotive center, almost a little teary with one more decision I have to make, staring at all the battery options. The only thing I know about Die Hard is that Bruce Willis always wins.

As I watched the mechanics put the battery in my car, I got to thinking about all that's happened this week. How much faith and trust I have to put in God to get through the next hurdle. How much my own desires and wants have to die hard to His desires and wants.

Ultimately, His desires for my life are far better than anything I could imagine. It's just this road is dark, winding and unknown. I'm having to find His light in all of this. Somedays that's easy. Others it's not.

Thankfully today, despite all that is happening, His light was easy to find. She's about 2.5 feet tall. She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a kiss. Despite all that I have on my plate, she always seems to help me find the strength I need to start each day.