We have officially entered the teenage years. Not necessarily with age, but in life stages. As I talk to our teenager, I see so much of myself in her. As her step-mom, I worry for her in ways I couldn't predict. In ways that take me back to junior high and all my insecurities. If I'm being honest, insecurities that I still struggle with at times. That has created an intense need on my heart to impart, to all our girls, how important their hearts are. This letter can easily be addressed to each one of them individually.
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Dear beautiful daughter,
I am so honored that God has given you to me. I am so honored that I get to be part of your life. As I watch you grow, my heart continues to swell with pride for you. Each time I see your face I fall more in love with you. It's an unconditional love. Nothing you do, no choice you make will ever stop the love I have for you. Because of you, I now understand the unconditional love that God has for each of us. I love you with that same intensity.
Just like you, I make mistakes. I make poor choices. As your mom, I will fail you. However, just like you, I have a Father who accepts me despite my failings. He will always welcome me with open arms, no matter how many times I turn from Him. Just like God accepts us, nothing, absolutely nothing, can make me disappointed in you. I want you to re-read that. No choice you make, no eye roll at what I say, nothing will make me disappointed in you.
You were created in His image. He made you perfect and I couldn't agree more with that statement. He gave you your heart, your personality and your physical appearance. After He created you, He said, "it is good." Everything about you, your nose, your eyes, your body, your heart. "It is good." It is God's handiwork. God doesn't make mistakes.
I know that sometimes that's hard to believe. I was once a young lady who felt completely inadequate. I would look in the mirror and see all the things that didn't measure up to the girl on the magazine or the most popular girl at school. I would cry myself to sleep some nights because I felt so ugly, so inadequate, so different. I would crush on a cute boy, write my name with his, and will him to like me back. When he didn't, I would cry myself to sleep and believe the lie that I was unlovable. I would believe the lie that if I wore a size 2, had the best clothes, wore the right make-up and had the cutest hair, then he would notice me and love me.
I gave my heart to boys who didn't even know it was theirs. I had my heart broken. I cried more tears than any of them deserved.
Each of those times I was trying to settle. God doesn't want me to look like the magazine because that's not how He created me. God created you with a purpose and God wants our hearts. He sees what we are on the inside. Whatever your heart desires will show on your outside.
Being a size 2 doesn't make you nice, only your heart does that.
Having a boyfriend doesn't make you loved, you were loved by me and God before we even knew you.
Being class president doesn't make you popular, loving people as God loves you will do that.
Crying your eyes out because that cute boy in your second period doesn't notice you, is giving that cute boy more than he deserves of you.
There is absolutely nothing about you that you need to change to be loved. You are already loved wholly and unconditionally. Be who you are. Be who God made you to be. Value yourself and all that you can offer. Live the life God has created for you, in this moment, in this second. Don't worry about your future, it's already written. If you focus on the future, you'll miss all that God has for you today.
I can assure you, God has a plan for you. That plan will include a man. A good man. A Godly man. You will be the girl who holds his heart in your hand.
He will be attracted to you because of how you value yourself.
This man will see your heart first and your smile second.
He will laugh with you and wipe away your tears.
He will protect you.
He won't be afraid to sing songs in church or in the car with you.
He'll be equally comfortable at the girly movie you want to see as he is at a superhero movie.
He will love all the quirks you dislike in yourself.
He will never ask you to change because he loves you just as you are.
This is the man who is worthy of your heart.
Don't give your heart away for anything less. Don't settle. You are worth all of this and so much more. You are worthy of every blessing God has for you. You are worthy of being loved for your heart.
This is my prayer for you. To know your worth, to know you're loved unconditionally, to know that you are created in His image. This is how I see you. This is how I will always see you.
I love you completely.
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