Home

This is the first summer we've been in a house. For the better part of our marriage we haven't been settled. We started off in an apartment, then moved into our first house, only to leave it 6 months later. Then we lived with my mom, who graciously opened her house to us.

In nearly 4 years of marriage, we haven't had home. I think this is the first time that N and I realized it.

It's also the first time in nearly 4 years that we are both putting time, energy, blood, sweat and tears into our home. It's a place we can see us being in for some time.

Which is why the weekends are so crammed with to-do lists.

Last weekend we made the rookie mistake of saving all our errands and big, to-do list items until Sunday. The exhaustion haunted us all week.

We vowed that this weekend would be different. And it was. We spent our Saturday outside, working hard.

N looked like this Saturday evening.

I can assure you, it looks like a professional installed our new storm door. It is beyond beautiful. Both N and I stare at it. Zoe kisses the glass.

In addition to new doors, we also created a small BBQ area and I planted and planted and planted. Why so much planting? Because I have a little helper who likes to pull up the flowers after I've planted them. We made some memories.

Here is our backyard. Or what we like to refer to as "the sanctuary of our home."

My favorite part of my garden is the sign that Zoe and my mom made for me. Zoe did most of the painting. In each little flower is a picture of one of my girls. It makes my heart smile every time I see it.

Next weekend's to-do list includes Zoe's play area. We're going to pull up the concrete edging and lay sod down. Then we'll assemble her slide and put her water table over there. I'm really hoping the slide distracts her long enough my flowers have the opportunity to form roots.

After all the hard work, it's only natural that we have a picnic in the backyard.

I'm not sure what makes our house feel the most like a home. The fact that we have a little one running around or the fact that I regularly see my two favorite people bonding.

That DNA stuff is pretty powerful

When I was little one of the best memories I have is of watching my grandma sleep. She puffed.

She would look totally peaceful, then you would see her cheeks fill a bit, her lips lift a bit, then a small hole would form on her lip line and a puff of air would be released.

It's how you knew she was in her REM cycle.

When we talk about my grandma, it's one of the things that was uniquely her and a fond memory for all of us.

I discovered last night that the puffy has been passed down. Zoe didn't want a nap yesterday, so by her bedtime she was exhausted. I was holding her, she had just finished her bottle and then I heard it.

The distinct sound of a puff of air.

Her great-grandma would've loved to know this was one of the traits Zoe got from her.

Almost as much I love it.

She may not like pedicures, but she does have a future

My mom is the director of the third thru sixth grade girls AWANA club at our church. Last night she held a party for all the girls who finished their books this year.

It's quite the accomplishment because it's a small, spiral notebook full of verse memorization, activities and review. I'm not kidding when I say some things they have to memorize are three or four verses long.

Each year, to show them how proud she is of their accomplishment, she has a bowling party. Which, if you've ever taken 14 - nine to twelve year olds bowling, is a small accomplishment in itself.

Because I know how to work the machines, I go to help my mom set up. Zoe goes for all the candy.

Last night Zoe's friend Ben was there. He's three weeks older than her and they bond over bowling in the nursery during church. It's only natural that we would take them to the actual bowling alley for some bonding. Have I mentioned how sweet, adorable and perfect Ben is for Zoe?

I played on a team with some of the girls and let Zoe roll the ball down the lane with the help of some bumpers. She was more interested in kicking the ball. That is until she realized it was 6 pounds, solid and hurt a little when you did that. On her first shot, she knocked down 7.

A couple frames later, on Ben's turn, he got a spare.

A couple frames later, when it was my turn because Zoe had her candy and Ben had some potato chips, I got 2 pins.

TWO, whole pins.

TOTAL for the frame.

Which is the age of Ben and Zoe.

Apparently they will be giving lessons next week.

I don't see many pedicures in her future

This weekend, as a chance to spend some time with Zoe, I decided to paint our toenails. She loved the idea of paint. She's been really getting into painting, so the thought of putting some paint on her feet was totally awesome in her mind. She ran circles, saying "paint paint paint paint." She was beyond excited.

Until I actually put the paint on her toes.

The look on her face was as though I was actually swabbing swine flu on her. That is, if she actually knew what swine flu is. That's beyond the point.

She sat very still while I finished painting her toes. She got up slowly, stared at her feet and then began kicking.

Big kicks. Little kicks. Anything to shake that horrid, pink disease off her feet.

With all the kicking, her toes actually dried. She was less than thrilled.

For the last three days, every time she looks at her feet she lets out this little whiney moan.

I guess we won't be bonding over pedicures anytime soon.

Eight fourty-five

I have a favorite time of the day. It's 8:45 in the evening. It's when Zoe and I start her bedtime routine. It usually involves some tiger growls while I'm changing her diaper. Then the ever fun game of "smell my feet mommy." It's a tradition that I recommend for every family.

After all the growling and smelling, we head to the bathroom for some teeth tickling. If I call it brushing, she tends to HATE it. We make a game of tickling her teeth. Usually she'll take her second toothbrush and tickle my teeth.

Then we make a bottle and get ready to head into her room.

It's the part of my day that I will get some quiet time with my daughter. I sing to her, pray with her and tell her just how blessed I am by her. It's the same song, similar prayer and same loving bestowed on her every night.

It's also the time when I do a little praying myself and just relaxing after a busy day. Usually Zoe falls asleep rather easily and I hang out for an extra 10-45 minutes, depending on if I fall asleep too.

Last night Zoe had finished her bottle. Her eyes were shut, she was very still and then this happened:

Zoe: Think, think, think
Me: Do you have ideas?
Z: Chips!
M: You want chips?
Z: 'kay!
M: No sweetie, it's bedtime. Here's your binky. Mommy will play with your hair, you just close your eyes and think about all the things you love.
Z: POOH!
M: You love Pooh?
Z: 'kay!

I guess for her the moment is filled more with junk food and a bear stuffed with fluff.

I love being a mother

Honestly, it was like Mother's Weekend at my house. I was spoiled beyond anything I deserve.

I got some flowers and a cord that hooks my iPod into my car stereo. That's right, I was jammin' out to a little Newsboys this morning. I was secretly praying I had a job that needed me to drive all over town today just to listen to my iPod.

If that wasn't enough, N gave me some time just for me and he mowed the yard. Then he helped me haul bark out of the flowerbed. He speaks all kinds of my love language.

Zoe loved on me all weekend. I think she knew it was Mother's Day because she was all about her mamma this weekend. I got more cuddles and kisses.

N even BBQ'd some steak for my mom and I. If you've never had N's BBQ, you are missing out.

To say it was a great weekend is an under statement. I still had to work in the yard, clean the house and change diapers, but it was the best. While Mother's Day is a great way to honor your mom, it was a day for me to know just how blessed I am to be a mommy and a wife.

I am so grateful to have the family I do. They love on me, support, encourage and challenge me. I am a better mommy because of them.

I'm baaaaack!

I've spent much time in prayer and thought. I realized I'm not very good at being dependent. God always has a plan. I, however, don't always know that plan. So that tends to make me a bit like the Tazmanian Devil in the hormone department.

Never fear, God's plan is in place and He even gave me a little glimpse at it. I can't tell you how much I appreciated that. The little devil inside me stopped making all those tornadoes and let my mind rest.

Plus I got to go to the gym on Monday and run out some stress. I'm positive that's also part of God's plan for my life.

I thought I would share some of the good news. In April the state budget came out and colleges in Washington were taking a BIG hit to their funding. It put N's program in jeopardy for the summer. That caused all sorts of unknown. Because I'm not good at being dependent, that unknown meant mass hysteria in my mind. What would we do? How would N do with getting a summer off, only to go back in the fall? That would extend his schooling even longer! He would go back to graveyards at work and that isn't my favorite schedule.

For about a month it felt like our life was on hold.

The dean of his school said that if they had the students, the program would run through the summer. Every person in his class said they would go through the summer. We don't feel on hold. We know what His plan is...for now.

It was just in time too. Part of His plan was to slow me down and to have me focus on other things. Namely Zoe.

She came down with a little stomach bug yesterday. Poor thing spent most of the morning puking. Absolultely broke my heart. Especially since she has no earthly idea what was going on. I got to spend lots of time cuddling, loving and napping with my sweet girl. Even though she was feeling yucky, her company was exactly what I needed this week.