How I Celebrate Being A Mother

I love having a day to celebrate the fact that I chase around a preschooler, live through tantrums and get exhausted just thinking about entering the "no" phase.  Which we entered last week.  It's been fun. 

Zoe, please put your toys back in the toy box.  NO!

Zoe, you're doing the potty polka, let's try and go potty.  NO!

Zoe, do you just love having me as your mommy?  NO!

Zoe, do you think your mom is weird?  YES!

She's full of all kinds of love...and honesty.

After a hectic weekend, which I'll tell you about tomorrow, and church in the morning, I was pretty much ready to lay on the couch, pretend I never had children and drift off into a dream land where a maid, a masseuse and a pastry chef were all ready to do whatever I needed at a moment's notice.  Also that I have the metabolism of a teenager.  If I'm dreaming, may as well dream big.

Then Zoe climbs up on me and in her sweetest voice says, "mommy can we play?"  Even though I'm apparently weird and she doesn't like having me for a mom, I gave in.  Seriously, I can't say no.  Maybe this no phase will be a learning time for me.

After some play time which translates into freeze tag, Wii yoga, gardening, weeding and reliving the Marmot March from a couple weeks ago, she let me get some pictures from my day.

I'm glad to see my weirdness has rubbed off on her.  I would hate for her to be a mom someday and not experience the joy of hearing her own daughter say, "mom you're weird."  It just gives makes a mom's heart grow with love.

So does this:

Nothing like being weird and giving unwanted kisses.

Thank you Zoe for helping me keep my head level, my self-esteem in check and my heart full of love.  My life wouldn't be the same without you. 

A New Normal

Almost four months ago today I wrote a post about being in the tunnel. What I didn’t know at the time is that we’d be in that tunnel for four, long months. We’d go from being tired, to being exhausted. We’d go from being hopeful, to being anxious and back to hopeful. We experienced an array of emotions that was similar to being on a rollercoaster.

Our minds have been preoccupied. Anytime the thoughts of “what if” and “maybe” would enter, we committed to praying. Not necessarily for the outcome we wanted, but for wisdom to follow the outcome God wanted for us.
In January the program that N is in at school started to prep the students to enter the workforce in their given field. The program itself is two years long, but after the first year they can get jobs with companies who are willing to work with their school schedule in their second year. They started having career fairs and introducing hiring managers to the students, which is beyond awesome. Nothing like helping a college student network in a new career.
In January a gentleman from the Army Corps of Engineers came to the class. His sales pitch was strong. He talked of high salaries, rich benefits and veteran buy-backs. That basically means if N goes to work for the Army Corps, he could buy back his time from the Air Force. Instead of starting at ground level with vacation benefits and retirement benefits, he would start out at 9 years (which is the amount of time he was in the Air Force). It would mean that his time serving in the military wasn’t totally in vain.
The process started. Over some Arby’s one afternoon we decided to pursue this opportunity. We believed that if this was the path God wanted us on, He would open the doors. If it wasn’t, our prayer was for God to slam those doors shut, lock them and then distract us with something shiny.

To our amazement, the doors kept opening. N went down to McNary dam for a tour. Then we went to Walla Walla to the district headquarters and N took a four hour aptitude test. Then we ate some fried cheese that was the size of a salad plate and wondered if he answered questions about isosceles triangles correctly and if the meaning of life really was this delicious cheese. Then we waited to hear the results. Then we filled out applications, refined resumes, wrote cover letters and sent military forms they name by letter and number that got me really confused. What is a DD214 and where do I find it again?
We waited.

Finally, four weeks ago we got the call. N was asked for an interview. They were interviewing eight people for three openings. He was top eight out of hundreds that applied. As he left McNary, they told him we’d hear in a couple weeks.
We waited. Thinking each day could be thee day.
Two and a half weeks later we heard. He got the job...with a twist. When he interviewed they told him he wouldn’t be able to return to school. He would start with his new career and no degree. N assured them that was okay. When he talked to them today, he gets to come back and finish his degree. Which is an answer to my prayer.
If he comes back to finish school, he won’t have to work. He can focus on school. Instead of working at night, he’ll be home in the evenings with me and Zoe. He’ll get more sleep. We’ll see some type of new normal. Which is exactly what we’re hoping this job will do.
God was faithful. Not because of the outcome, but because He gave us a peace that His plans would happen. At one point both N and I realized that, no matter what, we would be where God wanted us. When that hit, it was like we had conquered our fear of something great.

Now His plan is everything I had hoped. I can’t tell you how great it feels to have the desires of my heart be the same desires as God’s. It is humbling. It is rewarding. It is still the unknown.

Hebrews 10:23 – Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.

A Science Experiment: To Flush or Not To Flush

Zoe isn't a breakfast fan.  She just doesn't like to eat until she's been up for awhile.  Typically during the week her and Grandma have things to do.  We like to make things that she can take with her for breakfast that she'll eat.

One of her favorite things is mini muffins.  Usually on Sunday evenings we make a couple dozen mini muffins for the week.  We like to have one right after they get out of the oven and cool a bit.  Sunday evening N was cleaning the tub in Zoe's bathroom.  She wanted to help.  She sprinkled the cleaner in the tub and N started to scrub.  She was ticked she couldn't scrub too.  I bribed her with a mini muffin.  Don't judge.  A tired, pre-schooler meltdown makes a mom do drastic things.

She insisted that she take it into the bathroom so she could "keep daddy company."  A few moments later N heard a plop and "oh no!"  Zoe dropped her mini muffin.  Not just anywhere in the bathroom, but it was a direct shot into the toilet.  Zoe really wanted to get it out, but I told her she needed a new one. 

N thought it best if we wait a little bit, let the muffin get soggy and then flush it.  After all the scrubbing and all my eating of mini muffins, we both totally forgot.

On Monday morning my mom came over to watch Zoe and had to use the bathroom.  She took the Dora lid off the toilet to find a jumbo muffin staring at her.  Not sure if she should reach in and try to get it out or what, she decided that flushing was the best option.

Fortunately the mini-now-jumbo muffin went down okay, but it didn't really ever dissolve.  If you ever drop your mini muffin in the toilet while you watch a man clean your bathtub, because really, what's better than mini muffins and watching your man do some chores.  Maybe if you had just come from an all-day spa treatment and then had the muffin and chore-watching.  That could just be me.

I digress.  The real moral is:  muffins are like sponges in the toilets of life.  They don't dissolve, they just get bigger.

I'm not sure that's a moral or just something I hope you never encounter.  If you have to go, you don't want to have to decide if that muffin is too big to flush.

Sometimes Smiling Just Isn't Enough

A few weeks ago our small group met and instead of the usual, Pete and Lindi offered to make us dinner.  It was an impromptu birthday celebration for their daughter.  We ate entirely too many waffles, pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausage, hashbrowns, strawberries and cake.  It was awesome. 

As I was looking through the pictures from the event, I realized that, while the kids smile, the adults are a mixed bag.  You have the people who smile:

Thank you Lindi and Jamie for posing for me and indulging my need to document every second of our life.

Sometimes they like to pretend I'm not even there:

Granted Pete is working at a hot grill, so I'll give him a pass on that one.  Steve likes to pretend he's talking to someone, while Shawn smiles, knowing he's being difficult. 

Never fear, I'll still post the pictures on the internet.  I'm ruthless like that.

Neither of these things happen as often as this:

I'm not sure if they just ate too many waffles or what.  It seems to be a common pose for the people we socialize with.

Then again, I also found these:

It's nice to know we found our people.

Friends Make The Good Times Better

One of the things we're most grateful for is our friends.  N's family doesn't live close and my family is small, so we like to bridge that gap with friends.  We're so blessed to be part of a church and small group that want to encourage, support and love on us.  They've accepted us without question, which if you know us, that's no small thing!

One of the biggest blessings has come in the form of friends for Zoe.  Being an only child most of the time makes it difficult for her to relate to kids her age.  She can be in a room full of other kids and want to play with the adults.  To have her form friendships with children who come from homes that value the same foundations that we do is immeasurable. 

To have friends who will play dress-up, as either a pirate or a princess, well, that's just something this mom would like to personally thank each of the children.  Perhaps buy them something special, like gold.  I can only explain how hard it is for mommy to wear a size 4T Sleeping Beauty costume to Zoe so many more times before she stops asking.

To invite us to their house for a lovely dinner.  Then throw in a trip to their chicken coop, a ride on their swingset and to sit around a campfire to roast smores.  That kind of love just warms the heart of this mother.  Not to mention having time to socialize with another mother who is also chasing her kids around, wiping noses and having her eyes in 600 places at one time.  It's nice to find people who are a kindred spirit and have an understanding that being distracted doesn't mean lack of interest.

Most importantly, to be loved on just because they can and want to. 

It's not uncommon for Zoe to wake up asking what her friends are doing and if we can play with them.  Or including them, by name, in her prayers before bed.  After all the fun times she's had with them, it's safe to say they're in her heart. 

I think it's one of God's greatest blessings.  To have your child have good friends, but to also have their mommies and daddies as your good friends too.  They add a depth to life that makes each memory a little more colorful and each get together a little more exciting.

Thank you friends for loving on us, accepting us and making our weeks brighter.  Our life wouldn't be the same without you.

Well, we'll see what you say tomorrow after you see that post!

It Was An Overnight Phenomenon

At beginning of fall D, E & I planted over 100 bulbs of flowers in the backyard.  It was exciting to see how the flowerbed would look in the spring with all the pretty flowers and signs of better weather.  I was secretly hoping that hole in my thumb was worth it.

One evening, after talking to the ladies at work who said their crocus were blooming I decided to check it out.  This is what I saw:

Signs of life were beginning.  Most of my tulips were up and with small buds on them.  My crocus were totally through, but didn't have blooms on them.  My hyacinths were coming in too.  That hole in my thumb was worth all the effort.  It was so pretty.

Then fast-forward to a week later and this:

The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming. It was like a little patch of spring right out my door.

But it doesn't stop there. There's more beauty just a couple days later:

They are so pretty.  I have a vase on our dining room table that is full of tulips.  It's wonderful.

Except that my crocus never bloomed and only two hyacinth ever bloomed.  Now, I'm sad to report that all my tulips have lost their petals and it's almost time to uproot them and plant some summer flowers.  I can't believe in 2 weeks all my effort is gone. 

The good news is that my rose bush is bigger than it's ever been and my hydrangea bushes are coming back!  I'm sure I'll be seeing more color in no time.  It just means that I'll have to dig and plant some more.  I'm sure I'll have three helpers to get the job done.

Running Won't Kill You, You'll Pass Out First

This weekend was full of marching and running.  On Saturday we participated in the Marmot March.  It's a 1.2 mile walk through Riverfront Park.  It's for the 8 and under crowd. 

On Friday we picked up Zoe's t-shirt and paint set.  Because it's an untimed event, the kids get a shirt to decorate and wear during the race.

Zoe was very excited to have a number.  She wanted to be number 3 like her age.  Unfortunately all the tags are #1.  Which is good for fairness, but bad when your daughter has different ideas.  We had to come up with a compromise:

Which worked out pretty well for me since it's her age and we can document that on her shirt. 

Saturday morning we woke up and got ready for the race.  Actually I think the first words out of Zoe's mouth, after good morning were, "are we going to my race yet?"  She was not excited at all!

When we got outside it was sprinkling.  Neither rain, nor sleet, nor the coziness of a warm bed were going to keep us from this race.  We loaded up the jogging stroller because even though it was only 1.2 miles, there was no way I was going to carry her.  There was also a chance that I would need to be pushed since my training for these types of events usually involves some good intentions and lack of actual doing.

Please notice all the snacks.  A walk for Zoe means snacks to enjoy along the way while someone else actually walks.  I will take credit for it.  I have the same philosophy about walks too, but N won't push me in a stroller anymore.  He's so insecure! 

About 2 minutes into the race, our girl decided she wanted to run too.  Actually ended up running most of the race.

The entire race was within our park downtown.  The course was lined with mascots and cheerleaders.  Zoe got approximately 50 high-5's along the course. 

Our girl with her ribbon and balloon for completing her very first race. 

After this, you went to get snacks:  frosted animal cookies and a mini loaf of bread.  Since she didn't get to snack at all along the way, she dove right in:

Ever since her race, we've been recreating the event at the house.  Sometimes I get to be the cheerleader and do the high-5'ing and sometimes I get to run.

It was actually just a warm up for my race on Sunday.  Bloomsday is a 12k race that's been going on here for the last 34 years.  My mom took me along in 1985 when I was a mere 7 years old.  I've been hooked ever since.  I've missed a few years along the way, but it's so nice to be back at it. 

I say that now, after the Aleve has kicked in and bed time is near.  I had other thoughts right around mile 4 when I was starting the biggest hill known to man. 

It was an absolute reminder that next year, I'm getting the stroller and N can push me.  Better yet, maybe I can pass for an older 8 year old and do the Marmot March instead. 

If Zoe has any say, I'll be getting practice around the house while she's my cheerleader.