Her Secret Place

Zoe likes to play with just about anything.  The other evening she found me cleaning a tub and said, "look mommy?  Isn't this perfect?"  When I turned around I saw that she had my flip flops on.  They were like boats on her.

She also loves my gardening shoes.  They are green clogs that are scuffed up and dirty.  I keep them in the laundry/mud room.  She keeps them close to where she is most of the time.

The other day I was throwing a load of her clothes into the washer and when I went to get them out of her hamper I saw my shoes on top of her dirty clothes.  When I asked her about them, all she said was "huh, how'd those get there?"  Huh indeed.

Fast forward to last night.  I was putting her dirty clothes in her hamper and absent-mindedly threw the clothes in.  They made a plop sound.  I looked into her hamper and saw a beach ball that I'd just blown up in the bottom of her hamper. 

Apparently that's her secret place.  All her treasures go in the hamper. 

Or maybe these things are just dirty and need to be cleaned?  I'm a little terrified of what I'll find in there next. 

I realize this is a little bit boring post, but in light of the weekend, it's all I can muster.  I don't actually think I've dreaded a weekend before.  I do this one. 

D & E are coming over for the weekend.  I'm excited about that.  I love seeing them.  It's been about 2 months since E has come over.  It's extra special.  N has to work overtime tonight, so it'll be a girl's night.  There is something about having it just be us girls.  We have giggling that turns to belly laughs and all the secrets come out.  I get a glimpse into my girls in a way that I don't other times.  I'm thrilled for some of that time tonight.

What I'm a little more worried about is tomorrow.  Both of them play soccer.  Tomorrow is the big, final tournament.  We'll be spending all the live-long day at the polo grounds.  Watching soccer.  Fortunately it's supposed to be nice and not windy.  Honestly, spending 8 hours on a polo field in the heat doesn't sound like the best time to me. 

Zoe has a birthday party tomorrow for two of her favorite people.  N and I get to experience the craziness of three, popular, athletic girls.  We're both coping right now by wanting to pull the covers over our head, take some allergy medication and wake up on Monday. 

It Was Spectacular

A couple nights ago Zoe and I had the awesome priviledge to attend D's second violin concert.  Not that she plays two violins, but that's she's played two concerts.  The first one took place in the gym of her school.  I went to that same school and I really remember the gym being much bigger.  Parents had to crain around people at the enterances to see the kids.  As far as concerts go, it was like being in a mosh pit.  Women were waving and silently mouthing "I love you!" 

Actually it was just like several concerts I've been to, except it was an orchestra and a band.  I don't really see groupies doing that at the symphony.  Maybe they have gotten a little wilder over the years.

We were excited about this concert because it took place at the Arena.  Which is big enough to house 20,000 people.  I had a pretty good idea that Zoe and I wouldn't be in the mosh pit of this concert.  If we yelled "we love you D" it would be okay.

What I learned a mere 24 hours before the concert was that it was the entire district playing at the Arena.  That's 34 elementary schools or 68 music classes.  Now, in our district, learning an instrument is mandatory.  Granted choir counts in that too and this concert was just band and strings.  As I tried to do the mental math of this type of concert, my mind actually went blank. 

As I mentioned it to some other people they were like, "oh yeah, the Band & Strings Spectacular.  That's a big deal."  I was all, "what is the Band & Strings Spectacular?"  That's when I got the low-down.  Fortunately for me, while I did play the flute in elementary school, this spectaclar didn't start until I was out of elementary school by like 1 year.  Apparently for the last 20 years I've been completely unaware that this event has happened. 

When we talked to D's mom, she said we would need to go to "G Section Yellow, 107-108."  While that was like speaking a foreign language, Zoe and I decided to figure it out.  My mind, although blank, starting to comprehend what we would encounter when traffic was backed up for three blocks just to get into the parking lot.  And we were 25 minutes early.  All the while Zoe was in the backseat naming off songs she was sure D would play.  Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Hot Cross Buns, Row Row Row Your Boat...

As we found the G section with D's school name underneath it, I was not prepared for what I was about to see.

2,800 students filled the floor of the Arena.  To give you some type of perspective, this floor is the size of a regulation hockey rink or an arena football field.  We're talking HUGE.  The National Figure Skating Association choose this location for the nationals this year before the Olympics.  Now, it's filled with 5th and 6th grade students who play an instrument.  It was beyond impressive.

Even though we were 20 minutes early, our section of G Section Yellow was totally filled.  I've circled it so you can see.  I think we got the shaft.  Our section was one of the smallest, so we had no chance of even seeing E or anyone we might know.  D might not have even been down there, but we did see her name in the program so I'm quite certain she was there.

We had to go to the top level, walk the steep stairs of death to find a seat in a rival school.  N sent me a text message that said, "tell her I'm so proud of her."  I sent him this picture and said:

"Happy to.  If you can tell me where she's at."  To which he replied, "holy crap, that's a big band."  He's so perseptive.  Me, being up for any challenge, really tried to find her without binoculars or knowing what she was wearing.  Apparently I am delusional.

D, while I have no idea which head you were in the middle of the Arena floor, we truly enjoyed your concert.  Zoe clapped and asked for more.  We are so proud of you for learning the violin.  You are excellent at it.  I really hope next year to remember to buy you a fluorescent orange dress so we can easily spot you.  Love you sweet girl. 

We Are All Princesses

Being a mom of young girls, we are all about being princesses.  At Zoe's age it's about dressing up like Cinderella and singing "a dream is a wish your heart makes" while combing her hair.

For D & E it's more subtle.  It's getting their hair done, wearing their new dress to church or just being made to feel like they're the only girl their daddy sees.

For me it's watching N scrub something clean, like a tub or a dish. 

My friend Jorene and I decided we needed to do something for the ladies of our church.  If we call Him our Father and He's also our King, that makes us princesses in His kingdom.  Instead of having a dress-up party for young girls, we decided to do a party for all age princesses.  Dressing up was totally optional.  Although next year it may not be!

For the last three months we've been planning this Princess Party.  I found some really adorable crown frames everyone could decorate and crowns made of pipe cleaners.  We got to work. 

My counter was covered with these beauties:

We had a cake pop party a couple days before the event.

I cannot confirm or deny if a few of them may have accidently, totally innocently been tested before we served them to the princesses. 

We got to work getting them ready to showcase as a centerpiece on the table.

The room was full of pinks, purples, flowers, balloons, sandwiches in the shape of tiaras and every so often a glimmer from a pipe cleaner.

We had 60 ladies show up to make crown frames, get their pictures taken with their tinsel crowns, hear a story about Gigi and hear of God's love for His princess, no matter how young at heart we may be.

It was a wonderful time and we've been asked to host it next year too.  It's great to see the ladies of our church, of all ages, come together, wear pipe cleaner tiaras and realize their place in His kingdom. 

Especially this little one.  Who, if you ask me or N, is already a princess in our hearts too.

How I Celebrate Being A Mother

I love having a day to celebrate the fact that I chase around a preschooler, live through tantrums and get exhausted just thinking about entering the "no" phase.  Which we entered last week.  It's been fun. 

Zoe, please put your toys back in the toy box.  NO!

Zoe, you're doing the potty polka, let's try and go potty.  NO!

Zoe, do you just love having me as your mommy?  NO!

Zoe, do you think your mom is weird?  YES!

She's full of all kinds of love...and honesty.

After a hectic weekend, which I'll tell you about tomorrow, and church in the morning, I was pretty much ready to lay on the couch, pretend I never had children and drift off into a dream land where a maid, a masseuse and a pastry chef were all ready to do whatever I needed at a moment's notice.  Also that I have the metabolism of a teenager.  If I'm dreaming, may as well dream big.

Then Zoe climbs up on me and in her sweetest voice says, "mommy can we play?"  Even though I'm apparently weird and she doesn't like having me for a mom, I gave in.  Seriously, I can't say no.  Maybe this no phase will be a learning time for me.

After some play time which translates into freeze tag, Wii yoga, gardening, weeding and reliving the Marmot March from a couple weeks ago, she let me get some pictures from my day.

I'm glad to see my weirdness has rubbed off on her.  I would hate for her to be a mom someday and not experience the joy of hearing her own daughter say, "mom you're weird."  It just gives makes a mom's heart grow with love.

So does this:

Nothing like being weird and giving unwanted kisses.

Thank you Zoe for helping me keep my head level, my self-esteem in check and my heart full of love.  My life wouldn't be the same without you. 

A New Normal

Almost four months ago today I wrote a post about being in the tunnel. What I didn’t know at the time is that we’d be in that tunnel for four, long months. We’d go from being tired, to being exhausted. We’d go from being hopeful, to being anxious and back to hopeful. We experienced an array of emotions that was similar to being on a rollercoaster.

Our minds have been preoccupied. Anytime the thoughts of “what if” and “maybe” would enter, we committed to praying. Not necessarily for the outcome we wanted, but for wisdom to follow the outcome God wanted for us.
In January the program that N is in at school started to prep the students to enter the workforce in their given field. The program itself is two years long, but after the first year they can get jobs with companies who are willing to work with their school schedule in their second year. They started having career fairs and introducing hiring managers to the students, which is beyond awesome. Nothing like helping a college student network in a new career.
In January a gentleman from the Army Corps of Engineers came to the class. His sales pitch was strong. He talked of high salaries, rich benefits and veteran buy-backs. That basically means if N goes to work for the Army Corps, he could buy back his time from the Air Force. Instead of starting at ground level with vacation benefits and retirement benefits, he would start out at 9 years (which is the amount of time he was in the Air Force). It would mean that his time serving in the military wasn’t totally in vain.
The process started. Over some Arby’s one afternoon we decided to pursue this opportunity. We believed that if this was the path God wanted us on, He would open the doors. If it wasn’t, our prayer was for God to slam those doors shut, lock them and then distract us with something shiny.

To our amazement, the doors kept opening. N went down to McNary dam for a tour. Then we went to Walla Walla to the district headquarters and N took a four hour aptitude test. Then we ate some fried cheese that was the size of a salad plate and wondered if he answered questions about isosceles triangles correctly and if the meaning of life really was this delicious cheese. Then we waited to hear the results. Then we filled out applications, refined resumes, wrote cover letters and sent military forms they name by letter and number that got me really confused. What is a DD214 and where do I find it again?
We waited.

Finally, four weeks ago we got the call. N was asked for an interview. They were interviewing eight people for three openings. He was top eight out of hundreds that applied. As he left McNary, they told him we’d hear in a couple weeks.
We waited. Thinking each day could be thee day.
Two and a half weeks later we heard. He got the job...with a twist. When he interviewed they told him he wouldn’t be able to return to school. He would start with his new career and no degree. N assured them that was okay. When he talked to them today, he gets to come back and finish his degree. Which is an answer to my prayer.
If he comes back to finish school, he won’t have to work. He can focus on school. Instead of working at night, he’ll be home in the evenings with me and Zoe. He’ll get more sleep. We’ll see some type of new normal. Which is exactly what we’re hoping this job will do.
God was faithful. Not because of the outcome, but because He gave us a peace that His plans would happen. At one point both N and I realized that, no matter what, we would be where God wanted us. When that hit, it was like we had conquered our fear of something great.

Now His plan is everything I had hoped. I can’t tell you how great it feels to have the desires of my heart be the same desires as God’s. It is humbling. It is rewarding. It is still the unknown.

Hebrews 10:23 – Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.

A Science Experiment: To Flush or Not To Flush

Zoe isn't a breakfast fan.  She just doesn't like to eat until she's been up for awhile.  Typically during the week her and Grandma have things to do.  We like to make things that she can take with her for breakfast that she'll eat.

One of her favorite things is mini muffins.  Usually on Sunday evenings we make a couple dozen mini muffins for the week.  We like to have one right after they get out of the oven and cool a bit.  Sunday evening N was cleaning the tub in Zoe's bathroom.  She wanted to help.  She sprinkled the cleaner in the tub and N started to scrub.  She was ticked she couldn't scrub too.  I bribed her with a mini muffin.  Don't judge.  A tired, pre-schooler meltdown makes a mom do drastic things.

She insisted that she take it into the bathroom so she could "keep daddy company."  A few moments later N heard a plop and "oh no!"  Zoe dropped her mini muffin.  Not just anywhere in the bathroom, but it was a direct shot into the toilet.  Zoe really wanted to get it out, but I told her she needed a new one. 

N thought it best if we wait a little bit, let the muffin get soggy and then flush it.  After all the scrubbing and all my eating of mini muffins, we both totally forgot.

On Monday morning my mom came over to watch Zoe and had to use the bathroom.  She took the Dora lid off the toilet to find a jumbo muffin staring at her.  Not sure if she should reach in and try to get it out or what, she decided that flushing was the best option.

Fortunately the mini-now-jumbo muffin went down okay, but it didn't really ever dissolve.  If you ever drop your mini muffin in the toilet while you watch a man clean your bathtub, because really, what's better than mini muffins and watching your man do some chores.  Maybe if you had just come from an all-day spa treatment and then had the muffin and chore-watching.  That could just be me.

I digress.  The real moral is:  muffins are like sponges in the toilets of life.  They don't dissolve, they just get bigger.

I'm not sure that's a moral or just something I hope you never encounter.  If you have to go, you don't want to have to decide if that muffin is too big to flush.

Sometimes Smiling Just Isn't Enough

A few weeks ago our small group met and instead of the usual, Pete and Lindi offered to make us dinner.  It was an impromptu birthday celebration for their daughter.  We ate entirely too many waffles, pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausage, hashbrowns, strawberries and cake.  It was awesome. 

As I was looking through the pictures from the event, I realized that, while the kids smile, the adults are a mixed bag.  You have the people who smile:

Thank you Lindi and Jamie for posing for me and indulging my need to document every second of our life.

Sometimes they like to pretend I'm not even there:

Granted Pete is working at a hot grill, so I'll give him a pass on that one.  Steve likes to pretend he's talking to someone, while Shawn smiles, knowing he's being difficult. 

Never fear, I'll still post the pictures on the internet.  I'm ruthless like that.

Neither of these things happen as often as this:

I'm not sure if they just ate too many waffles or what.  It seems to be a common pose for the people we socialize with.

Then again, I also found these:

It's nice to know we found our people.