Every year on the Saturday before Father's Day we have a joint party for D & E. This year they decided to go bowling. We loaded up the presents, the cake and all our months of practicing on the Wii and headed to the alley.
Once there, we were ready for some action with our fancy, bowling alley, worn by everyone shoes. Can I just tell you, the Wii really ruins you. Real bowling is WAY harder than the Wii. I was no where near a perfect game. I only got 2 strikes.
Zoe bowled like a pro, D & E each got a couple spares and a strike apiece and N even practiced his special, curve balls.
They girls opened presents, we ate cake and made a great memory together. It's a great weekend when you get to celebrate N one night and then D & E the next day. Not that we need it, but whatta great reminder of how blessed we are.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
He's Less of a Man Now
This weekend we celebrated Father's Day on Friday. Zoe got to spend the entire day with her daddy. They played some Wii Mario Kart, watched some Caillou and spent some time cuddling.
When I got home they were showing me their silly hair:
Daddy left to get D & E so the whole Father's Day celebration could begin. Zoe kept staring at him because of this:
It was like the man I married walked through the door. Unfortunately my hopes and dreams of a family band were thrown away. N made some excuse about the heat of the summer or some such nonsense.
Even though the band thing is ruined, he can still make my heart flutter.
Thanks for the great Father's Day N. You are worth celebrating any day of the year. Rock band hair or not.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Fatherless to Loved
A few days ago I read an article online in Relevant magazine about the fatherless generation. With Father's Day around the corner, the article struck a nerve with me. Not because of the timing, but because I'm part of this generation before it really became an epidemic.
My biological father didn't want a child and he left. My mom and him weren't married, so leaving was something that could be done without any kind of legal issue. It was the late 1970's and being an unmarried, pregnant woman was still something taboo in society. My mom, being hurt, an outcast and left pregnant, decided to raise me on her own. She was so strong in her conviction to be a single mother, his name isn't even mentioned on my birth certificate. She didn't seek financial support. He had made his intentions and desires clear.
Over the course of my life my mother never said a negative thing about him. She allowed me to discover him on my own. At age 15 I realized he still didn't want me. That's no small issue for a teenager, let alone any age, to deal with. It took me a decade to really come to terms with the realization that his lack of interest in me wasn't because of me, but because of his desire to live a life for him rather than for others. As I say that, I really have no judgment in that statement. He made his choice. I hope he has a life that he's proud of. I wish him nothing but good things.
That's not to say his choice didn't leave consequences in my life that, at times when I let them, can crush my soul in a way no other hurt can. To not be loved or even thought of by your parent, whether your father or mother, is devastating. Two people on this earth are supposed to love you unconditionally and when one doesn't it's hard to not take it personally.
There has been a ripple effect in my life because of it. I never thought I was good enough for any guy to love if the one who was supposed to couldn't and didn't. I'd be remiss to also say that it took a long time, even after we were married, to trust that N really loved me and wasn't going to realize one day that I was unloveable.
One good consequence of my childhood was that I understood how important it was for my future husband to be a father to our children. At the top of my must-have qualities, right after being a Christian, was the desire to be an active father.
The first time I saw N after high school I sat and watched him play hide-and-seek with his daughters, who were 3 and 5 at the time. D & E were freely given hugs, kisses, tickles and his time. There was never a doubt that he loved and cared for them. He made sure he actively told them so. It was at that moment I realized I would marry him. I knew it wasn't a show for me, it was who he was. It was the first sign of his character that I witnessed. It made me fall in love with him.
Now we have three daughters who will face peer pressures, grow up in a society that is selfish and be forced to make choices at younger ages than I ever had to. I'm so thankful they have N in their lives. He will give them a sense of security and unconditional love from the one man in their lives they can count on. As a girl who grew up without that, I know the value of his presence, his time and his love. It's something they will never have to question.
After almost 6 years together, it's not something I question either.
Thank you N for being you. I know you have no idea the impact you have on our lives because it's just part of your character. Trust me when I tell you, you are no less than amazing. We are completely blessed to have your love. Thank you for giving it so freely and unconditionally. You have healed my heart in ways I can't accurately express. You have entered the hearts of our girls in ways that will carry them through life without even knowing you're doing it.
We love you completely. Happy Father's Day love. You are one of a kind.
My biological father didn't want a child and he left. My mom and him weren't married, so leaving was something that could be done without any kind of legal issue. It was the late 1970's and being an unmarried, pregnant woman was still something taboo in society. My mom, being hurt, an outcast and left pregnant, decided to raise me on her own. She was so strong in her conviction to be a single mother, his name isn't even mentioned on my birth certificate. She didn't seek financial support. He had made his intentions and desires clear.
Over the course of my life my mother never said a negative thing about him. She allowed me to discover him on my own. At age 15 I realized he still didn't want me. That's no small issue for a teenager, let alone any age, to deal with. It took me a decade to really come to terms with the realization that his lack of interest in me wasn't because of me, but because of his desire to live a life for him rather than for others. As I say that, I really have no judgment in that statement. He made his choice. I hope he has a life that he's proud of. I wish him nothing but good things.
That's not to say his choice didn't leave consequences in my life that, at times when I let them, can crush my soul in a way no other hurt can. To not be loved or even thought of by your parent, whether your father or mother, is devastating. Two people on this earth are supposed to love you unconditionally and when one doesn't it's hard to not take it personally.
There has been a ripple effect in my life because of it. I never thought I was good enough for any guy to love if the one who was supposed to couldn't and didn't. I'd be remiss to also say that it took a long time, even after we were married, to trust that N really loved me and wasn't going to realize one day that I was unloveable.
One good consequence of my childhood was that I understood how important it was for my future husband to be a father to our children. At the top of my must-have qualities, right after being a Christian, was the desire to be an active father.
The first time I saw N after high school I sat and watched him play hide-and-seek with his daughters, who were 3 and 5 at the time. D & E were freely given hugs, kisses, tickles and his time. There was never a doubt that he loved and cared for them. He made sure he actively told them so. It was at that moment I realized I would marry him. I knew it wasn't a show for me, it was who he was. It was the first sign of his character that I witnessed. It made me fall in love with him.
Now we have three daughters who will face peer pressures, grow up in a society that is selfish and be forced to make choices at younger ages than I ever had to. I'm so thankful they have N in their lives. He will give them a sense of security and unconditional love from the one man in their lives they can count on. As a girl who grew up without that, I know the value of his presence, his time and his love. It's something they will never have to question.
After almost 6 years together, it's not something I question either.
Thank you N for being you. I know you have no idea the impact you have on our lives because it's just part of your character. Trust me when I tell you, you are no less than amazing. We are completely blessed to have your love. Thank you for giving it so freely and unconditionally. You have healed my heart in ways I can't accurately express. You have entered the hearts of our girls in ways that will carry them through life without even knowing you're doing it.
We love you completely. Happy Father's Day love. You are one of a kind.
Friday, June 18, 2010
A House With Wheels
This is the last official weekend we have with N before the next chapter of our life begins. I know that sounds kinda melodramatic, but it's true.
For the last several years N has either worked two jobs or gone to school full-time and worked full-time. We haven't seen much of him during the week. In fact Zoe doesn't really see him at all Monday thru Thursday.
This weekend begins a plan to change that. On Monday N starts his new job with the Army Corps of Engineers. Yesterday the RV we purchased to house him this summer down there hit the road with Tom, the other student to get the job with N.
It's parked near the dam now waiting for them to return on Sunday and begin this new career.
For the next three months N will be working out of town and our routine will remain the same as it is now. In September, when he returns for his final year of school, he'll be home in the evenings with Zoe and me. This isn't something that's happened in her entire life. We are excited.
While we don't know the difficulties we'll face with this new job or the new schedule, we do know it's where God wants us. I couldn't be more excited to see what He has planned for us. If this week is any indication of what our life will be like in the future, this summer is going to be a long one.
Good luck N and Tom. I know you'll knock 'em dead!
For the last several years N has either worked two jobs or gone to school full-time and worked full-time. We haven't seen much of him during the week. In fact Zoe doesn't really see him at all Monday thru Thursday.
This weekend begins a plan to change that. On Monday N starts his new job with the Army Corps of Engineers. Yesterday the RV we purchased to house him this summer down there hit the road with Tom, the other student to get the job with N.
It's parked near the dam now waiting for them to return on Sunday and begin this new career.
For the next three months N will be working out of town and our routine will remain the same as it is now. In September, when he returns for his final year of school, he'll be home in the evenings with Zoe and me. This isn't something that's happened in her entire life. We are excited.
While we don't know the difficulties we'll face with this new job or the new schedule, we do know it's where God wants us. I couldn't be more excited to see what He has planned for us. If this week is any indication of what our life will be like in the future, this summer is going to be a long one.
Good luck N and Tom. I know you'll knock 'em dead!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Who Doesn't Like Cookies?
I have a list of blogs that I check in with daily. Some of them are funny, some of them inspire me, some of them are written by people I know personally and love seeing what they're up to.
Sometimes I read blogs where the person would never know me, but I feel like I know them. I'm positive if I'm ever in their town, I could call them up, we'd have coffee and be great friends.
One of those people is Jody Ferlaak. She writes a blog called Nitty.Gritty and it's funny, charming and incredibly personal. She shares the great times, the down times and her honesty is something like I greately admire.
Yesterday I checked out her blog to find this post about some chocolate chip cookies from a big-named department store. I highly recommend that if you like cookies, you read the story and enjoy the recipe.
Stick it to the man Jody! Thanks for the recipe!
Sometimes I read blogs where the person would never know me, but I feel like I know them. I'm positive if I'm ever in their town, I could call them up, we'd have coffee and be great friends.
One of those people is Jody Ferlaak. She writes a blog called Nitty.Gritty and it's funny, charming and incredibly personal. She shares the great times, the down times and her honesty is something like I greately admire.
Yesterday I checked out her blog to find this post about some chocolate chip cookies from a big-named department store. I highly recommend that if you like cookies, you read the story and enjoy the recipe.
Stick it to the man Jody! Thanks for the recipe!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Squirrel Whisperer
Yesterday I was drinking my morning coffee, singing whatever song was just on the radio and walking into work. Our building doors are in an alcove, so you aren't quite sure what you're going to see when you come into the area.
Usually I see some bugs, a soggy newspaper and leaves. It's nothing frightening. I realized yesterday it could be.
My office is in a building that is part of a much larger complex. We are surrounded by trees, flowers and wildlife. A couple years ago we experienced wildlife. A foul odor permeated the building for days. It was the smell of death and a little something extra. Apparently a skunk had crawled into the duct system and couldn't get out. Add 100 degree temps and you get a science experiment that I never want to relive.
There has also been rumors of aggressive squirrels. A co-worker of mine was charged by one as she was walking into our building last year. While I think they're cute, I don't want to get close enough to one to test that story out.
You can imagine my surprise when I walked into the alcove yesterday to see this:
Let me enlarge it and make it blurry for you:
With the story of my co-worker being charged by one last year and this guy (girl?) looking a little stressed about being trapped in an alcove and possibly having to work, I decided to back away from the situation. With my luck he (she?) would charge and I would drop my new ceramic coffee mug and then where would I be?
I decided to do what my aunt used to do with squirrels when I was little. I'm not sure this ever worked for her, but I decided to try it. I started making kissy noises. Either I sounded sweet to the little guy (gal?) or he (she?) was planning to charge, but he (she? it?) started to come out of the alcove. I started to back away, while making kissy noises.
I realize that anyone in the parking lot would've seen just me making kissy noises toward the entrance and think that it was some kind of new blessing one gives their office building or that I was not of my full wits. I like to think that I now have a special gift with the squirrel world. That little guy (girl?) will go back to his (her?) friends and tell them of this lady who makes a delightfully pleasing sound and saves them.
I'm like the squirrel whisperer. I'm not entirely sure I want to test out my newfound abilities any time in the near future again!
Monday, June 14, 2010
We Were Blinded By The Light
This weekend we had temps of 80 degrees. For two whole days. Without rain! It was like summer in June. Who knew that could happen?
I almost didn't quite know what to do with myself given that the Real Housewives of NY Reunion show was on and yet there was sun and heat and weeds that needed to be pulled. I'm a cavegirl without a DVR, so I really do have to choose. Until I checked our cable's On Demand section and found it there. I actually thought my head would explode for all the awesome that comes from not having to choose.
Apparently the sun also spoke to N because he woke up on Saturday with a mission. If I could I would insert the Mission Impossible theme here because his task was large. He decided to organize the garage. He not only did that, but went on a dump run with me, got things ready to donate and then washed his car and motorcycle.
All we needed was a little vitamin D and we're like the Energizer bunny of chores.
Sometime during the whole thing we got Zoe an upgraded car seat. It's actually not a car seat, but a booster seat. She can now buckle herself, climb in and out and generally take care of all her driving needs. It's fabulous. To say that she L.O.V.E.S. it would be an understatement. She was like a 16 year old with a driver's license. She wanted to go to the store for some bananas, drive up to the park and find any excuse to try out her newfound independence/big girlness in her booster seat.
Which came in great when we were asked to go to a park with a splash pad last night for dinner. Zoe was in her seat before I could finish telling her we were going to the park. Several families got together for a taco bar at the park and to let our little ones wear themselves out. Everyone came in their swimming suits ready for some water fun at the splash pad. When we tried the sensor thing, nothing happened. The whole ground was wet so it obviously worked at some point, but not when 13 children were ready for some splashing fun. We decided to eat dinner and play on the playground.
All of a sudden we heard, "it's on! RUN!" Only to arrive a mere 23 seconds later to the water stopping. I guess when they say "splash" pad they literally mean a splash of water to trick your children into thinking it could turn on. The kids loved it. 23 seconds of water is just enough to make puddles they can jump in.
It's also enough time to trick parents into thinking they can get the sensor to work. I think every one of us tried to get that sensor to recognize our presence no less than 4 times each. I'm positive some county worker was in some building far away watching on video how dumb these parents were.
I guess this weekend taught us a few things. 1) The sun's powers to motivate are huge. 2) Giving a child a booster seat can totally distract them from the fact that there are no cookies in the house and mommy is watching the Real Housewives for just a minute. 3) No matter how dumb you look or how much you know it won't work, parents will try anything for their children.
It was a good weekend!
I almost didn't quite know what to do with myself given that the Real Housewives of NY Reunion show was on and yet there was sun and heat and weeds that needed to be pulled. I'm a cavegirl without a DVR, so I really do have to choose. Until I checked our cable's On Demand section and found it there. I actually thought my head would explode for all the awesome that comes from not having to choose.
Apparently the sun also spoke to N because he woke up on Saturday with a mission. If I could I would insert the Mission Impossible theme here because his task was large. He decided to organize the garage. He not only did that, but went on a dump run with me, got things ready to donate and then washed his car and motorcycle.
All we needed was a little vitamin D and we're like the Energizer bunny of chores.
Sometime during the whole thing we got Zoe an upgraded car seat. It's actually not a car seat, but a booster seat. She can now buckle herself, climb in and out and generally take care of all her driving needs. It's fabulous. To say that she L.O.V.E.S. it would be an understatement. She was like a 16 year old with a driver's license. She wanted to go to the store for some bananas, drive up to the park and find any excuse to try out her newfound independence/big girlness in her booster seat.
Which came in great when we were asked to go to a park with a splash pad last night for dinner. Zoe was in her seat before I could finish telling her we were going to the park. Several families got together for a taco bar at the park and to let our little ones wear themselves out. Everyone came in their swimming suits ready for some water fun at the splash pad. When we tried the sensor thing, nothing happened. The whole ground was wet so it obviously worked at some point, but not when 13 children were ready for some splashing fun. We decided to eat dinner and play on the playground.
All of a sudden we heard, "it's on! RUN!" Only to arrive a mere 23 seconds later to the water stopping. I guess when they say "splash" pad they literally mean a splash of water to trick your children into thinking it could turn on. The kids loved it. 23 seconds of water is just enough to make puddles they can jump in.
It's also enough time to trick parents into thinking they can get the sensor to work. I think every one of us tried to get that sensor to recognize our presence no less than 4 times each. I'm positive some county worker was in some building far away watching on video how dumb these parents were.
I guess this weekend taught us a few things. 1) The sun's powers to motivate are huge. 2) Giving a child a booster seat can totally distract them from the fact that there are no cookies in the house and mommy is watching the Real Housewives for just a minute. 3) No matter how dumb you look or how much you know it won't work, parents will try anything for their children.
It was a good weekend!
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