Friday Five Faves - The Memory Loss Edition

When I started this blog I started doing Five Favorite Friday where I would list out my weekly top 5. For 30 installments, you got my thoughts. Then suddenly, in 2009, I stopped. I'm not entirely sure why. Lists are like oxygen to me. They are my security blanket in this adult life. At least that's the story I weave, when in reality I think I just need gingko biloba to help with memory. I cannot tell you how many times (mainly because I can't remember) I've gone into a room to grab something and have completely forgot why. Not even retracing steps helps jog my memory. On Tuesday I called my mom with something important to tell her and now, on Friday, I still can't remember what it was.

In honor of my recent and alarming memory loss, I'm making a Friday Five Faves list today. I have a feeling next week, I may not remember anything about this week.

1. Caramel Macchiato - I have a new favorite drink at Starbucks.  Please don't read this as my darling peppermint mocha has lost all the love.  However, the caramel macchiato is my new favorite.  It's great hot.  It's great iced.  It's one of the lowest in terms of calories and fat.  I'm a gold card member at Starbucks, which if you've been on here for any length of time, you shouldn't be surprised.  For every 15 drinks that I purchase, I get a card in the mail for a free one.  On a whim, I decided to try something different.  The rest is history.

I'm actually drinking one right now.  "It's so good, once it hits your lips, it's so good."  (Name that movie!)

2.  People Weekly online - I check this site out once a day.  Okay, sometimes more than once a day.  It's my guilty pleasure.  Not really because I care what Kim Kardashian did at Vera Wang last night, but because it gives me a glimpse into a fake reality.  I love seeing what celebrities wear or who is dating whom.  Not because I really care, but because I find it fascinating.  It's a world that is so far removed from mine, that it's like a soap opera.  My favorite thing is the 10 Best Quotes of the Week on Fridays.  It makes me glad no one is keeping record of what I say.  Wait, what's a blog again?  Hmmm... 

3.  Zoe's maturity - My child fascinates me every day, but for some reason this week I've seen a real maturity in her that warms my heart.  Her sayings are hilarious, in a grown up way.  She was at the store the other night and the cashier gave her a sticker.  Zoe's response, "thank you.  You just made my day!" 

At drama practice on Wednesday night, we always start with a prayer.  Zoe sat in the front and asked if she could pray.  I said my prayer and then she said hers.  "Dear Jesus, thank you for today.  Please bless this play and thank you for letting me play.  I love you.  Amen."  The pastor asked if she could pray in front of the whole church on Sunday.  Zoe responded, "does that mean I get to have a microphone?" 

4.  Thursdays - It's the day N returns to the homestead!  It's our favorite day of the week.  We count down the number of sleeps until daddy comes home.  Then we go grab ice cream before we go pick him up.  Then, as N pulls up to our meeting spot, Zoe starts yelling for him even before his car has stopped.  It's the best, biggest smiles of the week.  It's a bright spot in our new routine.

5.  No more poop - Toby has been a hard dog to train.  He came from a home with 18 other dogs, they never went outside, he pooped in the room he was in, ate in the same room, had no human interaction, had to fight other dogs just to get his food...okay you get the point.  For the first 10-12 weeks of his life, this is his reality.  No matter how hard we've tried, we can't get him to not be scared of outside.  Going outside to take care of big business (#2) has been a challenge.  He just thinks he can go inside the house (usually on a bed or the couch - aren't we so lucky), even though 2 minutes before he was outside taking care of little business (#1).  It's extremely frustrating and I was at the end of my rope with it.  Toby is really N's dog.  They've bonded and N can get Toby to do things I can't.  Unfortunately Toby has to do things with me now that this is our reality.

My mom found an article on how to train an adult dog who has been abused.  She offered me some advice from this article.  Even though Toby was a puppy when we got him, his reality created some unique fears and all the "puppy training" we've done hasn't resulted in any positive outcomes.  He won't even go to the backdoor and whine or anything, he paces.  If you're not watching him, an accident happens.  It's extremely frustrating.  I tried the advice that she gave me:

 - calling #1 and #2 a certain word - we use the word "business".  Everytime we go outside, it's "Toby, let's go take care of business." 

 - take a treat outside and give it to him outside when he takes care of business - he gets 1 treat for #1 and another treat for #2. 

 - we only use his favorite treat for business.  If he does something non-business related, he gets a separate type of treat for in the house.

 - when we give him the treat outside, we reaffirm that it's for doing "business." 

The results in these few changes this week are amazing.  He's taken care of all business outside.  He actually goes to the door and whines.  He's loving being outside.  He used to go outside, maybe do business and then sit by the door and whine until you let him in.  Now, he runs, plays and generally enjoys more than just the mat in front of the back door.  Zoe loves running with him and playing with him.  N was even surprised at how playful he seemed outside.

I think we still have a ways to go and I'm sure we'll have some missteps along the way.  I'm so proud of Toby for being such a quick study and coming out of his shell in the process.  I know he's okay with my change in the routine because he laid on the couch next to me, rolled onto his back and looked at me with that "please rub my belly" look.  He's lucky he's cute.

I hope you all have a memorable weekend.  I'm going to take lots of pictures of my weekend, not because we have anything planned, but because I think I'll need the evidence of our happenings to jog my memory.

Happy Friday.

Lazy Summer Days

It seems that the season of summer in the Inland Northwest is a bit of a misnomer.  Usually we see all four seasons, which I absolutely love.  This summer, and I use the term lightly, is very wet, very cold and I'm pretty sure if we blink we will miss it.

The beginning of this week was really nice.  Temperatures in the 80's, sun and dinners on the patio.  We decided to take advantage of the weather and play outside.

Zoe was fortunate enough to be spoiled by grandma and she got a dress that twirled.  She put on her princess goggles and we got to twirling.

Then we laid in the grass and found shapes in the clouds.

It was the perfect summer night.  There were too many giggles to count, so many times of being dizzy and even a few animals in the clouds.  Even though it was just a normal night for us, something tells me it will stay in my memory.  There's just something about seeing your daughter giggle that imprints itself on your heart.

Mamma is Finally Getting Some Sleep

We are into week 2 of our new normal.  Last week was N's first week back at work.  That means he works out of town for four nights.  He leaves on Sunday afternoon and returns on Thursday evening.  Last summer when we started this routine, it wasn't a huge transition for us.  He was working nights and going to school during the day.  I got to see him only on the weekends, except for the occasional grunt in passing in the mornings.  Zoe and I were used to doing things on our own.

That all changed last fall when N just did school.  He didn't have to work and just focused on finishing his last year of college well.  As a bonus, he was home every evening.  He joined the worship team and became a leader in AWANA.  We had an amazing nine months of growing as a family.  Our marriage is better than it's ever been.  His relationship with the girls is better than it's ever been.  God greatly blessed our time together.

Enter the new normal.  We've been here before, but this time is different.  I forgot how much I ran around in the evenings taking care of things.  I forgot how little I actually sat before.  I'm not complaining, I'm blessed to have a family to take care of.  It's just taking some getting used to.

Last week was rough.  Zoe missed her daddy and had a hard time sleeping because of her emotions.  Toby was completely thrown for a loop and was very upset with N.  One morning he even pooped on N's side of the bed.  Yeah, you read that right, he pooped ON.OUR.BED!  I can't even tell you how quickly that comforter was in the washing machine with bleach!

I was working on little sleep, lots of emotion and none of us really had a great week.  Then N came home, loved on all of us and things seemed to be right in the world.  Sunday afternoon I was bracing myself for the rough week ahead.  In our experience it takes about 6 weeks before the new normal because just normal.  During this time there is worry, lost sleep, stupid fights and many prayers.

I'm very happy to report, week 2 is so far a 180 degree turn of week 1.  Toby hasn't taken care of his business on our bed or in our house at all.  He's playful with me, sleeps through the night and is back to his Toby-self.  I can't even tell you how wonderful that is because N's the dog whisperer in our house and I just buy the dog food.

Zoe's going to bed all by herself without much wailing and gnashing of teeth!  She's sleeping through the nightm, which hasn't happened for at least 8 weeks.  She usually calls for me at least once a night.

Between Toby's adjustment and Zoe's sleeping, this mamma is getting some sleep.  It's amazing, but I'm not as teary or cranky.  Who knew!  Praise God for week 2, it's just what this mamma needed.

Sidelined

It would seem that my personal highlight of the year is the 1/2 marathon I did in May.  It was so much fun accomplishing something like that.  As you may recall, during the 1/2 my knee literally screamed at me.  It was so loud I was sure other people heard it.

I took a couple weeks off to rest the knee, rest my body and just take some time to sleep!  During StomachGate 2011 I decided to hit the road and start doing some running.  I thought I would do a light 4 mile run, get the old legs and lungs workin' again and do some training for the next 1/2 marathon, probably in September or October.

My knee had different ideas.  At mile 2 it screamed again.  This time louder than during the 1/2 marathon.  Pain shot through my leg and I couldn't put any weight on it.  I limped the 2 miles back home, at least getting in my 4 miles that I wanted.  I hobbled over to my brother-in-law who knows a thing or two about medical stuff.  He confirmed that pain is coming from my lateral collateral ligament.  I laughed because, seriously, the lateral collateral ligament.  That sounded so fake.  He just smiled and told me to look it up.  Of course I did what you're warned not to and Googled it.  I learned some things:

1.  Sometimes you eat crow.  My brother-in-law is super smart about ligaments and stuff.
2.  It keeps your knee in place, so it won't bend out to the side. 
3.  It's a ligament = not much blood flow = long time to heal.
4.  An LCL sprain or tear is very hard to prevent.

After two weeks of constant tenderness I went to the doctor.  He confirmed all the things that I had learned on the world wide webs.  He sidelined me for a month.  Not just from running, but all forms of exercise except cycling. 

If it's not better in a month, I get to do physical therapy and wear a brace.

My summer training is on hold.  My summer ice cream eating hasn't slowed.  I best be getting on that stationary bike at the gym if I have any hope of fitting into my shorts.

We Are In This Together...But Apart

This weekend marked the beginning of the next chapter.  Now that N is a college graduate, he's has to go back to work.  This last year was the first time in our marriage that we've had a normal, consistent routine.  It was one that included N being home in the evenings.  I can't tell you what a blessing this past year was.  We've grown as a couple and as a family in ways we never dreamed we would. 

Yet, we always knew this was temporary.  We knew when N graduated, that would mean going back to our old normal:  not having him home in the evenings. 

Yesterday we made the three hour drive to the dam, dropped N off and then Zoe and I made the long trip back home.  It was bittersweet.  Both N and I know this is just a stepping stone to getting us to where God wants us to be.  At the end of this 24 month period is the vision of the life we've always had.  Over the next 2 years we'll each be doing our part to get us to that place.  In many ways this is an exciting chapter.  Each week that we are apart, puts us one week closer to having a permanent place that is our home.  Each week brings us closer to having N home every evening!

The irony is that to get there, we have to be apart for the next 2 years during the week.  Essentially we have to both be independent and yet together.  We will, in many ways, live separate lives for the next 2 years.  If I'm being completely honest with myself, I've grown rather fond of not being independent.  I loved having N home in the evenings, to have him with us.

This is what we have to do.  I know with it will come hardships and blessings beyond our understanding.  I know it's not us that is guiding these next 2 years, but Him who has opened these doors.  God wouldn't have brought us this far to not have a plan going forward. 

If we look closely, we can see God's hand in this already.  Through this apprenticeship, N has to learn all sections of a dam (electrical, operations, maintenance, etc).  At the end of each section, he has to pass testing.  The only real area of concern that he has is the electrical.  It's not his strong suit.  Typically they each get 3 months per section and then they HAVE to take the test.  Of course, N's first section upon returning is electrical.

Here's the God thing:  The first month of your return doesn't count toward your three month window.  It's like a free month of training.  Because N starts today, he gets the whole month of July to train, but he doesn't have to take his test until the end of October.  It's a free month of training on the one area he's worried about. 

All this time he's been dreading this and God has opened the door for extended training. 

Sometimes it's signs like those that give both N and me a moment to breathe.  It's a moment to know we aren't guiding this course, it's coming from a much higher place.  It's Him that holds us together during this time apart.

The Summer Hum-Drums

Apparently Zoe didn't get the memo about summer break.  She likes to watch Phinneas and Ferb and knows all about summer vacations, but since she can't make HUGE rollercoasters in the backyard, they leave something to be desired. 

We were sitting on the couch and she looks at me, with a total look of disgust on her face:

When is school, AWANA AND dance classes going to start again?  Because this is boring!

When I mentioned VBS and swimming lessons, she said, "I guess that will be okay." 

I wondered if she'd have the same feelings when she was 13, but since she'll be 4 forever, that's a mute point.

We're Cancelling Christmas Too!

Yesterday Zoe made this announcement at dinner:

I'm so glad that my dentist disappointment [appointment] was cancelled.  I'm also cancelling all future birthday parties because I don't want to get any older.

Just in case you needed to know, we will not be turning 5 in this house.  Nor will we be turning 34.  Apparently all birthdays are off, I'm trying to convince her to let a couple of us actually go backwards.  25 was a really great age for me.