A Cute Sewing Project

It's only taken 6 months to get into a routine with school, church, life.  With that routine comes time to sew!

Zoe goes to a private school for Pre-K.  The elementary portion of the private school, along with the preschool and Pre-K programs are at one campus and the junior high and high school are at a campus close to our home.  The school has been incredibly blessed with a new elementary campus near the junior high/high school campus.  Today is her last day at the old campus and two of her teachers will not be moving.  We had to come up with a little thank you gift for them.

My mom had some stamps that said, "thanks a latte" and I had coffee fabric.  I'm not entirely sure what made me originally by fabric with a coffee theme, but I thought I could use it on something.  Quite frankly, I think that's how a fabric addiction starts.  You think you'll have a use for it and then pretty soon you have a whole room of just fabric.  Trust me, I'm not judging, just getting a clear picture of my future!

We found this pattern and we made this with it:

Once it's cut out, it sews together faster than you can make a tuna sandwich. 

Heart as Big as a Whale

This last week has been a difficult one.  We learned that N's mom broke her hip and had to have surgery.  She's not known to do very well recovering from surgery, so this was something that concerned us greatly.  There was talk of having to use pins/rods/screws or a possible hip replacement.  They were going in blind. 

As soon as we learned this, Zoe asked us to pray because when Jesus puts his hand on someone, they are healed!  She prayed for that, which warms this mamma's heart.

Because of all the concern with the surgery, N is having a hard time being alone and not there!  He's a fixer when it comes to things and even though he couldn't fix her hip, he'd want to be there to fix whatever he could.  It was very hard to be separated from us and from his mom. 

Last night, Zoe was laying on the couch, with her feet kicked up behind her and called N no less than three times in a row.  Just to tell him that she loved him.

I'm positive she has no clue how tender she is.  When any of us needs a little reminder of how loved we are, she's eager to demonstrate that, whether it's seen or not.  She's my little reminder of who I need to be more often than I am!

Fragile

Ever since Zoe's accident last week, I've been a little on edge.  With her birth being so traumatic, I am keenly aware of how fragile life is.  I have a very different view of being a mother than I did when I got pregnant.  I see all the things in life that I want to protect our girls from.  It's not just injury, it's bullies, low self-esteem, cancer, people intent on hurting them, and on and on and on.  I see our girls as fragile, tender children who only need to know the best that life has to offer.

I want to give them only that life. 

I want to wrap them in bubble wrap and go everywhere with them.  I'm sure they'd love it, but unfortunately it's not realistic!  I have to have faith that God has them in His care.  I have to remind myself that our girls are actually His, not mine.  I'm just the blessed woman who gets to be in their life. 

Sometimes at night, when I'm drifting off to sleep and my subconscious takes over, I have those flashbacks of the "worst case scenario."  I know, over time, these will fade.  If I look back on Zoe's life, she's been protected in so many ways.  They are ways that only God can protect her.  I know, without a shadow of a doubt, He's got her.  There are just those moments when I'm totally human. 

N and I were talking about our life together.  It started bad.  We both weren't the partner we needed to be.  If we look back, we wouldn't change anything.  It's paved the way for where we are now.  Despite the miles, despite the stress that can cause, we are in a better place than we have ever been.  That's only a God thing.

I have to remind myself that nothing is a surprise to God.  He doesn't sit up there and say, "wow, I did not see that one coming!"  He puts the details together that pave the way for what He has planned for us.  I know He does the exact same for our girls.

There are moments when I realize how little control I have.  How much I'm on the ride just as much as N and our girls.  I have faith that the God who brings us to the trial, will walk us through it.  I know His plan is better than anything I could dream up. 

This week has been reminder of how fragile life is.  That reminder keeps me in the moment.  It keeps me thanking God for all that He's done for us, despite my very selfish nature.  I'm humbled to be given this life because I don't deserve it.  I'm challenged to give everything to Him.  To put everything, including myself and my family, at His feet.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  I Thessalonians 5:16-18

A Moment That Will Be Imbedded in my Brain for Life

As a mom, you know you'll have to deal with bodily fluids.  It's part of having a child.  What they don't really prepare you for is when your child is hurt and bleeding.  There are the cuts and scrapes that are normal childhood things.  Those are hard to watch, but manageable.  You know they'll be okay. 

Then there are the nightmare kind where you are trying to assess the injury, stay calm to not freak out your child and having your mental voice scream in horror at the site of your child.  That takes it to a whole different level of motherhood.  It's the newest part of motherhood that I've been initiated into.

On Wednesdays we have AWANA at our church and Zoe is in the 3-5 year old class.  Our church has approximately 1,652 stairs.  You have to go on stairs from the moment you enter the church, so you can imagine in a night, how many stairs you have to go on to get from one place to the other.  Zoe's class is on the second floor.  If you're coming down from her class, you go down 5 stairs, turn a corner and go down another 12-15.  I've never really counted.  It's never been an issue.  Zoe is like an old lady on stairs, she's very cautious and very slow.  Two things I'm grateful for.  She has a healthy fear of stairs!

There are 17 children in her class.  Zoe was second in line, so that means there were 15 children behind her.  15 children who are much more fearless on stairs.  At the top of the 5 stairs, they couldn't wait and basically Zoe got pushed.  She fell, face-first down the stairs.  Her nose took the brunt of the fall.

I've heard it said that nosebleeds can have quite a bit of blood.  That statement cannot prepare you for seeing that happening to your child.  One of the other children in the class told his mom that she "was bleeding from her eyes, cheeks, nose, mouth and ears!"  Basically he thought her face exploded.  I have to agree with him, it did look like that.

Fortunately, God has His hand on her.  She had no signs of a concussion, but we still took her to the ER, which she was so excited about.  A real trip to the ER!  The doctor confirmed that she didn't have signs of a concussion, specifically no blood in her ears.  She may have broken her nose, but they'd have to do a CT scan to determine that.  Since she didn't show signs of a concussion, that would be quite a bit of radiation to a small child to see if her nose was broken and if it was, there is no treatment for it.

We opted not to do a CT scan.  By day two, this is the collateral damage:

A gnarly rug burn on her nose.  She carries some ointment in her pocket and periodically puts some on her nose throughout the day.  It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen.  She's such a trooper.

On Friday she got a sneezing fit.  She never complained about pain, so I'm pretty sure it's not broken. 

Now I'm fighting the urge to wrap her in bubble wrap, carry her around and protect her from all things that may cause her to bleed.  Meanwhile, she is becoming more fearless.  She's already trying to go down the stairs without taking the last step, on purpose.  A mere 84 hours post-injury.  We may have another visit to the ER sooner than later for mommy's heart attack!

Sweet Heart

I came home from work and Zoe was bouncing all around, super excited.  She told me to close my eyes.

I did. 

When I opened them, she was holding this:

She saw them at the store and had to get me one.  She thought I'd love some flowers!

Sometimes, as her mom, I'm overwhelmed by her heart.  It came on a day when I could use a sweet reminder of what this life is about. 

I've Been Too Present

Zoe is starting to find any number of ways to prolong the process of going to bed.  It's dallying on her way to the bathroom.  Then she'll turn to Jell-O as I try to get her dressed.  Then she has some very looooong story so we can't brush teeth because she's talking.  Nevermind the 20 minute argument about her fluoride tablet.  By the end of this process, I'm exhausted and she's caught her second wind. 

She's now including a debate about the number of pre-bed time books we read and needing some water.

Last night my mom was going to read to her and Zoe asked for a glass of water.  As I left the room to get the water, I heard my mom start to laugh to the point she was crying, at something Zoe had said.  Apparently, after asking for a glass of water, Zoe turned to grandma and said, "that'll keep her running for awhile." 

The No Good, Very Bad Day

Zoe is quickly learning that there are good days and there are bad days.  Which is amazing since she really only knows a world that revolves around her.  If she wants to play something, she does.  If she wants to wear snow boots with her shorts, we let her.  The two rough spots of her daily routine including having to brush her teeth, twice a day and take fluoride tablets and not being able to eat chocolate for her meals.  I can totally identify with the last one! 

Yesterday it was a shock when I asked how her day was and her response was, "not so great." 

I'm always interested in her day, but I'm really interested in what makes it "not so great" since neither the topic of toothbrushing or dinner was mentioned.  Here's the rundown:

She wanted to play at the grocery store daycare center with her friend A.  When they got there, Grandma couldn't check in A because she's not related to A.  That was out.

They all went to grandma's house to play, but A wanted to play aliens and Zoe wanted to play fairies.  Neither would compromise.  Zoe declared that the whole aliens and not fairies had "RUINED HER WHOLE DAY!" 

A short while later, A had to go home, which was very sad because they had so much fun playing!

After A went home, grandma promised Zoe that they could go back to the grocery story daycare so Zoe could play for 15 minutes.  The daycare doesn't let anyone, except parents drop off the kids.  The parents can say that a grandma has permission, but they can't take Zoe unless the mom or dad was there too.  Strike two with the daycare!

You combine all these things into one day and BAM - a no good, very bad day for a 5 year old.

We drowned our sorrows in a Barbie movie about some mermaid princess.  That seemed to make it all better...until she realized that we had to brush teeth before bed.