The Eternal View

Right now we are in the midst of great difficulty.  I know, if you’ve been reading, you’re saying “again?  Really?”  The answer is absolutely!  The closer I draw near to God the more I realize the why. 

This is life. 

This last week He led me to these verses:  2 Corinthians 4:7-18

⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”^[b] Since we have that same spirit of^[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I was immediately encouraged.  When I looked into this deeper, I realized why.

We are hard pressed, like grapes being pressed for wine, but not crushed.

We are perplexed, like without a thought of what to do or where we are, but not in despair.

We are persecuted, like being stalked to be consumed, but not abandoned.

We are struck down, with heavy, overwhelming burdens, but not destroyed.

I try to imagine being pressed like a grape for wine, without a thought of where to go, as I’m being stalked for consumption and overwhelmed with burden.  My human self knows those emotions.  They call me to act, toward revenge, toward anger, toward justification of my actions. 

Yet, God says that I will not be crushed, in despair, abandoned or destroyed.  I read that to mean those emotions, while human, are not His.

My life is full of each of these things, yet I have more peace and comfort than I can explain.  What God is showing me is that my human view is limited.  I need to see His eternal view.  Each step I take needs to be in obedience to Him.  If it’s not, I can detour His plan.  His eternal plan shows His love to everyone.  His eternal plan is for salvation.  His eternal plan brings everything to Him.  His eternal plan brings Him glory. 

As I am pressed, perplexed, persecuted and struck down, He will use all of it for His glory.  I just have to rest in the knowledge that He is the author and perfector of my faith.

God, the silent teacher?

I enjoy social media.  I find it fun to check in on friends, see prayer requests, share pictures and connect.  I always find it fun to see what people post.  I think it gives a really interesting glimpse into their personality.  What I’ve come to notice thought is that there is so much on the world wide webs that isn’t truth about God.  Today I was going through some social media and saw a picture that said:

“When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is,

remember that the teacher is always silent during a test.”

I’ve seen this picture probably 100 different times.  It’s never really stood out…until today.  I couldn’t stop thinking about it and couldn’t figure out why it stood out.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized it stood out because I don’t agree with it.  It’s false. 

These past few years have been one difficulty after another.  In the last 18 months, I’ve learned a lesson on dependence that I needed.  It has shaped my walk with God so drastically that I am blown away by where He has brought me.  I am grateful for His unfailing love and guidance.  However, my experience has been the exact opposite of that saying.  My Teacher has never been silent during difficulty.  In fact, it’s been the exact opposite and He promises that in the Bible:

Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

Psalm 9:9 “The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.”

Psalm 62:7-8 “My salvation and glory depend on God, my strong rock.  My refuge is in God.  Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him.  God is our refuge.”

It doesn’t say that He is a silent teacher, it says He is a refuge, a shelter and protection.  When my daughter gets hurt or goes through difficulty, she comes to me as her refuge.  I am not quiet when she’s hurting, I’m consoling.  I’m an active participant in our interaction, guiding, teaching, consoling.  I’m not behind a desk, being quiet.  I don’t believe God is either.  When we come to Him, He is a help and a shelter to us.  That is the truth of the Bible.

So why does this saying ring true?  Because sometimes God is silent.

I’ve experienced His silence during great difficulty and it sucks.  It is one of the most isolating feelings.  I spent many hours doing the ugly cry where I can’t breathe; snot is running down my face and tears blind my eyes.  I’ve cried out asking where He is and why He’s not here.  I’ve shed tears, begging for Him to draw near to me. 

You know how He responds?  I’m not the one who is far away and I am not silent.  You are.

Each and every time God is silent it has been because of unconfessed sin in my life.  There was a period about a year ago where I was in deep difficulty and God was absolutely silent.  I would try to draw near.  Nothing.  I would beg and plead.  Nothing.  I would weep and pour out my heart.  Nothing.  I would question if He loves me.  Nothing.

I turned to the Bible and you know where He led me?  Matthew 6:24a, “No one can serve two masters.  Either you will hate one and love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other.” 

1 Peter 5:6-7 “Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.”

Very gently, very sweetly God showed me sin in my life.  I was serving my own pity and then seeking God.  I was loving the self-pity, the pour me syndrome.  I was serving that master and this sin had such a stronghold over me that I didn’t even realize how vast it was.  It looked like normal, human emotions that I felt I was pouring out to God.  Yet I was harboring these feelings as a justification for my action.  I was entitled to feel this way because of the great difficulty and injustice I was facing.  Hello sin!  As I repented of my sin of pity, He lovingly brought me into His presence and He spoke very clearly to me about what I was to do and who I was to be in this difficulty. 

In my experience, I’ve found that the Teacher is only silent when I am carrying sin around with me, when I’ve got some stronghold in my life that I am not dealing with.  The word humility/humble is mentioned over 50 times in the Bible.  To humble myself before God means to lower myself in importance, rank, status.  It’s not my human nature to do this.  Yet, the more I do this, the more I hear God so clearly it’s like He is next to me.

We are currently going through some great difficulty.  My human nature wants to deal with it and take action.  I’m ready to face this head on.   I am battle ready.  I’m armored up and ready to fight injustice.  I’m bouncing around the field, sword in hand, ready to attack. 

As I confess and seek God, you know what He’s telling me?  Rest, seek me, be still. 

Is that what I want to do?  Nope.  Not even close.  I am so ready to attack.  Yet I know God is sovereign.  I know His plan is always best.  I know, even though this seems to prolong the difficulty, my Teacher isn’t being silent.  He’s just not having me take action toward the difficulty.  He’s having me take action toward Him. 

That isn’t a teacher during a test, it’s a Father actively leading His child through life.  So when I’m going through something hard and wonder where God is, I confess, seek His face and He draws near. 

Strength Finding

I’d like to talk for a moment about personality or strength tests.  I had to take one when I was hired for my current job and the results were shocking.  I scored super high in one category – fact finding.  I didn’t think it was too odd…until I saw everyone else’s score.  Not only was mine high in that category, it was higher than anyone else in any category.  I came into this job with a test result that actually made the management nervous about me because of this score.  

We would be in planning meetings and they would say things like, “now don’t get caught up in the why because you’re such a fact finder.”  The reality is I like to learn and know, but it doesn’t hinder me from prioritizing or doing my job.  This test labeled me.

You can imagine my excitement when we have yet another strength finding test to do.  I had little hope in this new one after the disaster that is the Fact Finding Fiasco.  What little hope I did have quickly evaporated when the questions were:

Would you rather do homework or watch football?

Would you rather eat ice cream or drink hot cocoa?

Would you prefer to spend all your time reading or all your time playing football?

Out of 100 or so questions, I’m positive about ½ of them were about football.  Considering my choices were reading all the time or playing football all the time and I really want to say quilting, I was not excited about the future label I would receive.  I was positive it would somehow include lazy or uncoordinated!

To my complete surprise, the results were spot on:

1 – Belief – to have certain core values the cause me to be family-oriented, altruistic, spiritual and have high ethics

2 – Developer – to see the potential in others

3 – Connectedness – things happen for a reason; there is a bigger picture, even if you can’t see it

4 – Learner – getting a thrill from the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence (such a nicer way to say fact finder!)

5 – Input – being inquisitive and finding many things interesting

When I read about these strengths, I’m blown away by how much my faith comes through.  There are 35 options that I could’ve received, yet I can see very clearly that all of them are a direct result of my Christian walk.

It is no secret that the last year has been full of ways God was teaching me dependence.  I hope someday I can share, in detail, what each of these hardships were.  However, it’s been through intense hardships that I’ve learned this very basic foundation of Christianity – to have complete reliance or trust on Him. 

As I look at this list, I see confirmation that my weaknesses, while still a struggle, have also become my strengths.  I have absolutely no question in God’s plan and will for my life, even if I have no clue why I am where I am (belief and connectedness).  I praise the Lord that I can say I thirst for Him and seek His answers to my questions and choices (learner and input).  I see the result in my interactions with people, hoping to guide them to Him (developer). 

Now I feel as though I’ve been prepared for something.  I have no idea what that is, but I came out of those challenges ready for whatever He has in store for me and apparently strengthened.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

A Future Hope

This past month has been somewhat of a whirlwind, which is shocking to me since the rest of 2014 seemed to drag on.  Yet as I look back on the year, I see exactly what I learned:

Dependence

God continually showed me just how little control I have.  By little, I really mean none.  When I would think that I knew God’s plan, He said, “nope, that’s not it.”  For most of 2014 I felt behind, felt that I lacked energy to do anything beyond breathe in and go through the motions.  I had big plans:

*Harvesting a garden – I only planted it, picked a few veggies and let weeds take over

*Planting flowers – I think I weeded twice and NEVER picked any for my table

*Stain our new fence – it’s a lovely shade of natural woods meets nature

*Organize my craft supplies – it’s all jammed in drawers, straining to be free.  Don’t open my craft closet!

*Dates with my daughter – Does grocery shopping count?

At each month there was some issue, life challenge, question that we could not answer on our own.  I felt overwhelmed, beaten down, worn and exhausted for most of the year.  I grieved the loss of relationships and dreams.  I can’t tell you how many times I cried at the mere thought of having to put laundry into the washing machine. 

Yet I was reminded each and every day that Jesus is “my ever-present help in time of trouble.”  None of the issues went away.  None of my days were so much easier.  Yet, I came through the year with a peace of knowing this is a season and God will use this for His plan…not mine.

As I enter 2015, it is with the intent to be intentional - to live with deliberate purpose.  I feel as though 2014 taught me dependence on Christ and a real lesson on the huge stronghold in my life that is pity.  I can very easily fall into a pity party.

This coming year my prayer is to be intentional with my walk with Christ, with relationships and with my time.  I have no idea what this year holds, but I do know that Jesus is at the helm.  He is guiding each of my steps away from 2014 and into His plan, His purpose.  For the first time, after a long year, with Hope.