God is Speaking to Her

Zoe is anti-toothpaste.  I do not mean she uses it and just doesn't like it.  She smells it and starts to gag.  Zoe is a bit of a puker, so when the gagging starts, I immediately change direction.  No one likes to encourage that kind of thing!

Her adult molars are in and we have a loose tooth.  More adult teeth are making their appearance and I'm nervous about not using toothpaste to protect them.  While at the store last week, I bribed her with a new toothbrush if she would pick out toothpaste she might want to try.

After much wailing and gnashing of teeth, she choose the toothpaste with sparkles under the condition that we pray about her fears first before I ever suggest she use it.

Actually picking out toothpaste is a huge leap, so I took the deal.  It's all about small victories in our house. 

Fast forward to last night. 

Zoe:  Mom, God has put it on my heart to use toothpaste.

Me:  Like, He's putting it on your heart right now and you're going to try it tonight?  *insert my silent prayer of thanks and pleading*

NO!  Nothing like that.  *insert eye roll like I've told her the most ridiculous thing ever*  He's telling me I should use it, but He hasn't given me a timeline of when yet.

I guess the negotiating phase isn't anywhere near finished!

Let's have a staring contest!

Recently I have been searching for an answer to a specific prayer request.  I’ve have an area of my life that I feel God is telling me that I'm not where He wants me.  I have been earnestly praying for an answer. 

Then a door opened!

It was a dream door.  It was something I knew, just knew was God showing me His plan.  I practically ran to that door.  It was a full-on sprint, which is amazing since I’m not really a sprinter.  I’m more “spring-training with Oprah” kind of speed walker…if I have to.

I have prayed earnestly that God would keep this door open while I was speed walkin’ toward it and it would be the answer I’ve been seeking.  I got that peaceful feeling that this was where He was leading me. 

As I reached this door, one final piece of information took the peace away.  I prayed earnestly for God to tell me that it was my human concerns causing this discontent rather than Him. 

The door kept shutting.  As I continued to pray for God to clearly, like so clear there’s no doubt, no questioning, show me this was His plan, He continued to shut that door.

It wasn’t His plan.

Can I be candid?  I cried.  It was the ugly cry.  The one where I make unnatural sounds, can’t breathe, can’t talk, all kinds of hot liquid pour out of my face and I have red eyes for hours. 

This was my plan.  This was my expectation. 

God, very clearly said, “this is not MY plan for you right now.” 

After I caught my breath and went through a box of Kleenex almost as quickly as I can go through a box of Chip’s Ahoy, an incredible peace came over me.  While I’m still sad, I know this is right. 

It doesn’t mean I understand.

It doesn’t mean I’m done grieving.

It doesn’t mean that I have any clue what His plan is.

It just means that I know God and this plan of His is ALWAYS better than mine; even if I don’t understand, even if I am sad and even if I’m completely clueless.  I have Peace that only He can bring. 

This morning God very clearly spoke to me.  By clearly, I mean it was like He has a megaphone that mirrors the decibel level of the 12^th man cheering. 

Do you want to know what He said?  The first three sentences of my devotion went something like this:

“Fix your eyes on Me.  These problems are Satan’s way of distracting you.  Eyes up child, eyes up!”

Hebrews 12:2 “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

“Fixing our eyes on” something isn’t a phrase we use in our vocabulary.  It’s actually only one word in Greek:  aphorao.  It means to stare at something intently.  I am to intentionally stare at Jesus because He is not only the creator of, but the sustainer (or perfecter) of my faith.    

Does it change the discontent in this area of my life?  Nope, not in the least.  Instead of staring at the struggle, I’m told to stare at Jesus. 

I’m not always successful, but I can tell you, without question, the peace I feel when I do stare intently at Jesus, overwhelms me.  I don’t know about you, but I could always use more peace during my day.  

Focus Your Audio

To understand this more clearly, consider that every act of aggression can be divided into two parts: intent and impact. Intent first refers to what you meant when the aggression occurred; impact, to what actually happened. The meaning behind “just kidding” is: if I didn’t intend to hurt you, the impact didn’t occur. If I was just kidding, or I didn’t mean it, I can’t get in trouble. You can’t be mad at me. You can’t not be my friend. And so on.¹

I read this quote on a blog and it got me thinking about how we communicate with each other.  Before texting and social media, you had to talk to other people with your voice and your words and your tone.  Whether that was through a phone or face-to-face, you could understand more than the written word allows.

I remember in high school I sat at a table with three other girls in science class.  One girl pulled out her lipstick and started to put some on.  I was fascinated because her lipstick was flat on the top.  She had used it so much that the point was gone.  Only one other person in my whole life has had lipstick that wore down like that:  my grandma.  I could not figure out how you do that.  To this day, I can’t make my lipstick do that.  When I saw that her lipstick was flat on top I said, “your lipstick looks like my grandma’s!”  I was excited and amazed.  She took it as an insult.  She just looked at me.  Then the other girls looked at me, mouths open.  So I clarified, “it’s flat.  How do you wear it down so it doesn’t have a point on it?”  That’s when it struck both of us that the meaning of my comment wasn’t a judgment, but a compliment because I thought it was cool and amazing.  For the next three days in class I made sure she knew that I wasn’t putting down her lipstick.  The look on her face told me just how my words had impacted her.  I never wanted to be the cause of a look like that on anyone…ever again. 

Translate that into Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or Kik or whatever other social media there is and you get a totally different outcome. 

I throw out a comment “that looks like my grandma’s” and she would be left to take that as she read it.  I can’t see the look on her face or even know that my comments were taken as an insult.  I can’t fix any damage because I’m unaware there is any.

To combat this we have sayings like “just kidding” or “just sayin’” or some other equally quick reply that is supposed to take the meaning to that fun, joking level. 

Can I speak some truth?  Anyone who says, “that bagel you’re about to eat has so much carbs in it that it could literally kill you, just sayin’” is judging you.  They feel that it is okay to state their opinion and it’s okay because they’ve thrown that “just sayin’” on the back of it that somehow makes the impact less.  I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t lessen the impact.    

Calling someone a dork online with or without a “jk” on the back is judging someone.  Because you can’t know the tone in which the statement was made in someone’s head as they were typing it.  The impact then becomes how the reader takes it.  You have no control over how it is interpreted. 

I’m a firm believer that a joke is meant to be funny, no matter if it’s written or if it’s spoken.  Name calling on social media, without the benefit of spoken words, is never funny.  It’s simply name calling.  Words like:

Ugly

Fat

Dork

Stupid

Jerk

B****

have meanings.  Throwing a “jk” on the back doesn’t change the meaning.  It doesn’t even change the impact.  The second you call someone “ugly” they don’t hear the rest of what you say.  The impact has already occurred. 

Likewise words like:

Beautiful

Smart

Amazing

Awesome

Gorgeous

Handsome

have meanings.  Would you throw a “jk” after one of those words?  Typically not.

We are in a society that has discarded in-person interaction.  I believe that creates a huge responsibility.  I read a quote that said, “if you’re mean on the internet, you’re just mean.” 

One of my struggles is with words.  I’ve seen the impact of my words many times over and I need constant reminders that I am to affirm rather than destroy.  Over the last three years this has been a lesson that God has impressed upon me.

James 3:10 “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”

Our words have impact, despite what our society has created as buffers (just kidding, just sayin’, etc).  We have a responsibility in person or on social media to type with more care, more concern, more clarity because once you throw a comment or a word out there, your intent and impact are no longer in your control.  Praise and putdowns do not come from the same heart. 

^{1http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2010/08/no-offense-but-i-was-just-kidding-dealing-with-mean-jokes/}

What's the plan?

Each morning I’ve got the blessing of waking Zoe up for school.  It’s one of my favorite things every day.  She wakes up easy and usually happy.

I creep into the room and she doesn’t stir.  Usually when I open the door I’ll get a little, “good morning mamma.”  This time…silence.

Once I get over my irrational fear that she has stopped breathing and my world crashes down on me, I got next to her, rubbed her back and heard:

So what’s your plan?

My plan?  I don’t have a plan.

You said you had a plan.  What is it?

I didn’t say that, but I’m thinking we’ll get up, lay on the couch, have some breakfast and get ready for school?

Okay, but that’s not the plan I thought you had!

Clearly she was mid-dream and in that dream I had a plan.  She can’t tell me what was happening that I needed to have a plan, so clearly it wasn’t something cool like we were superheroes fighting to save the universe. 

I guess I need to work on a plan for that!

Peace

I’ve written here a number of times that we are in a battle.  I’ve mentioned some aspects of that lately, but this battle is only growing in strength.  Some really super-amazing, only-from-God things are happening as a result.  N and I are reading a book that had this interesting statement:

Every physical problem or struggle you encounter has a root cause in the spiritual realm.

Take a few moments to read that a few times. 

The issues we’re facing are life changers:  divorce, financial hardships, job-related unknowns.  These are things that can break people, break families. 

As we seek God in this, one thing keeps coming to me:  how do I know what is true? 

If I have a big decision to make, how do I know it’s God’s urging?  If I have to confront someone in love about something, how do I know it’s God telling me to do that?

Here’s what I’m learning, the plan of attack by Satan is to get the individual, then their family, then their church and then society.  I’ve seen this happen in our own family.  I’m watching it happen in our family.

How is it that I can know something is from God or from Satan?  I need to benchmark everything against God’s truth or the Bible.  How does what I’m seeing, feeling, thinking, etc stand up against the truth of the Bible? 

When I do that, my eyes are open BIG time to God.  What I’ve learned is that Jesus is the Prince of Peace.  Peace!  How many times have been faced with a big decision and don’t have any comfort or peace about it?  Many times infinity, that’s how many times!

John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Do you know what I learned through this verse?  The world, or the ruler of the world (Satan) likes for you to be troubled and afraid.  He wants you to be confused and upset. 

I was asked two questions on Sunday:

What are you afraid of?

What made you believe you should be afraid of that?

If you are afraid, at your wits end, freaking out, stressing out, confused, and/or troubled by something, it isn’t of God.  It is of this world. 

I’m learning, with each breath, I’d totally rather have Peace above anything else.