Our Dates

This weekend it seemed like N and I were in different directions.  He spend most of his weekend with his friends.  Friday night he had a friend over to play some World of Warcraft so Zoe and I went on a date to Red Robin for dinner and then to Grandma's house to make our Halloween costumes.

Saturday N went with some of the men from our church to help stack wood for a lady in our church.  She uses a wood stove as her main heating source in the winter, so every October the men in our church head to her house and chop the wood for her.  While it was quite a bit of manual labor, N had a blast.  I think it's fabulous that he dedicates his time on Saturday to help our church family.

That meant that Zoe and I were on our own.  We went to her school for a book fair, bought her some new additions to her library and then we went on date number two for lunch.  Then it was off to church for an ice cream social with some ladies to welcome our new pastor's wife.

What really hit me this weekend was how truly blessed I am.  I have a husband who loves his family, both our nuclear family and our church family.  I have a daughter who I am blessed to spend time with and actually wants to spend time with me.

Even though we were going in different directions this weekend, N and I had our souls fed with friendship and family. 

I think it was a good weekend for Zoe too.  She asked daddy on a date last night.

Thoughts Before Bed

The pneumonia is keeping Zoe fairly tired.  She is taking naps most afternoons and still ready for bed and sleeping in.  While I know she's feeling better, she's still just wiped out. 

Yesterday she fell asleep on the way to dance class.  When I tried to wake her up to see if she wanted to go to dance, she shrugged and said, "it doesn't matter."  I let her sleep and when we got home we couldn't get her to wake up until 5:45. 

That means she'll be extending bedtime a bit.  As we lay in her bed last night, with the lights out she got completely chatty.  Here's part of our conversation:

Zoe:  Mommy, what's your favorite part of today?Me:  Cuddling on the couch and watching Beauty and the Beast with you.  What's your favorite part?
Probably the same.  What's your favorite word?Love
What's love?
It's how I feel about you and daddy.  I love you both.  What's your favorite word?
Stink
Stink?
Yep, like a skunk stinks.  P! U!
Okay.
What do you think daddy's favorite word that starts with N is?Um, maybe noodle?
I don't think you know daddy very well! (laughing hysterically)

I'm not sure this would be funny to read or what Daddy's favorite N word is, but Zoe has totally random thoughts.  I'm so blessed to have these moments with her.  I love how her mind works.

Ants

Zoe has a new bedtime routine.  She is hungry or wants a drink of water or needs her doll or needs a blankie or needs to check on her school bag or ...

The girl has become the queen of stalling.

A couple nights ago she complained to daddy that she was hungry, this was their conversation:

Zoe:  Daddy, I'm starving.
N:  How can that be?  You've been snacking for most of the night.  How do you know you're hungry?
My tummy is talking!
Maybe it's upset and you need an antacid.
You can't eat those.  We don't eat things with ants on it!

My Heart Work

For the last year or so my heart has been burdened. God has placed my role as a parent, specifically a mother, on my heart. My mom is someone I can talk to about anything and I know I will always get first love and second wisdom. It’s true whether she agrees with me or she doesn’t.


She is someone who loves me unconditionally and sacrificially. I desperately want to be that mom to my daughters.

For the first few years of our marriage, I struggle with being a step-mom. Not because of the girls, but because of the relationship N and his ex-wife had. There was much baggage that surrounded that relationship and if effected our marriage.

Now that all that garbage is worked through, I’ve been burdened to be a mom to all three of my girls. Just because I may not be their “mom,” I’m absolutely blessed to be a part of their life and my love for them is the same as my love for Zoe. I desire the same relationship with all three of our girls. Because I’m the step-mom to D & E, I’m in a unique position to be an influence in their life without the stigma of being the “mom.” Already they tell me things and confide in me. I have a feeling I will know more about their lives than their parents do because I’m not officially their parent.

All that to say, my burden to be a good mom is even stronger.

I don’t want to discount the mom I want to be to Zoe, but the relationship isn’t as unique. I’m just her mommy and she’s just my little girl.

I’ve been praying for direction on how to balance being the mom who is training and shaping them and the mom who is an example. I know that may seem odd, but with the influence the world already has over our older girls, I find that my training and instruction has to be critically in line with my example for all three of them.

This weekend I had an awesome opportunity to attend a conference. Originally I thought it would be a time of learning how to minister to children through our church ministry, but I found workshops on parenting. I came away with great ideas on being a Biblical example and on discipline. It was as though God spoke directly to my heart.

While I’m still not sure what all this means and what He has planned, I know He’s working in me.

The Med Ward

For the last week Zoe has had a runny nose.  Like her mommy, she has allergies.  So I didn't think too much of it.  Until Monday when there was a cough to go along with the runny nose.  Because she didn't have a fever, I wrote it off as allergies again because my drippy nose makes me cough.

After her first field trip on Wednesday, she just seemed tired and lethargic.  I decided we needed to make a doctor appointment.  I'm the parent who like the doctor to tell me it's a virus than to assume, especially right before a weekend.

Wednesday night she ran a low-grade fever and the coughing began to hurt.  She complained of a sore throat and said her ears were talking to her.  When I asked her what they said, she replied "hmmmmmmm." 

We got an appointment for yesterday afternoon.  The verdict:  pneumonia.

My poor girl has pneumonia.  Fortunately it's just the start of it, so I'm hopeful with antibiotics and loads of rest this weekend we can keep her on the road to recovery.

Sometimes, even though she's a few months away from being 4, I still feel like she's my preemie.  Part of the concern with her as a baby was her lung development.  We stayed home and didn't go out to avoid any kind of lung-related illness.

I know she's closer to being a kid than she is a baby, but the fear is still very real.  If you feel led, would you pray for my girl?  I know our Great Physician has her in His hands, as well as her doctors, but I just pray that we can rest, relax and recover!

This is Sirius

When we bought our new car it came with a year free of Sirius Satellite Radio.  At first we didn't really listen much to it because there are like 999 channels and 975 of them are either sports or finance talk shows.  I just resigned to the fact that it would just be a button on my radio. 

Then I went on a road trip and realized I needed to find something to listen to while Zoe slept.  I came across an all 90's all the time channel.  It instantly transported me back to my youth.  Most of my care-about-music youth was spent in the 90's.  I can remember hearing Bel Biv Devoe for the first time and thinking they were the coolest band EVER!

Then came Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul, Beastie Boys, Aerosmith, Pearl Jam, Depeche Mode, Nirvana, Will Smith and many others.  I can sing almost every song they play on the 90's channel.  I LOVE it.

This morning I heard some Bel Biv Devoe, Pearl Jam, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran and Will Smith.  The only problem is that you also hear songs you'd rather not.  Here's where I may lose some of my friends with this admission.  I don't really like Dave Matthews Band.  Which, like Nirvana, are thee band of the 90s. 

I think it's cool they use every instrument ever created.  It's not often you can get someone to play a lyre during an acoustic set.  They are very talented.  My problem isn't the instruments.  It's Dave's voice.  It sounds like what a violin's voice would be if they could talk. 

We all know a DMB song because, like The Beatles in England, DMB is pumped into our subconcious.  You end up singing along to the nonsensical lyrics.  Lights down you up and die.  Really?  I don't get it.  I'll bet no one besides Dave himself gets it.  Yet you sing it because it's catchy with the horns and lyres in the background.

Nothing against all of you DMB fans.  I'm just not one of you.  If I'm around you and a DMB song comes on, please be fully prepared for me to sing along in my imitation Dave voice as I make up words.  It gets me through the 15 minutes of each song.

This is The Day

Our car is equipped with an iPod hook-up.  It's one of the greatest car features I've ever had.  The only problem is my memory to actually charge my iPod.  I created a CD of Zoe's favorite songs from my iPod, so she'll never know that mommy forgot to charge the iPod.

She has her favorites.  We usually have to shake to The Wiggles' Shimmie Shake and be princesses to Cinderella's A Dream is a Wish.

Last night, after we were driving home from our ice cream date, she was just looking out the window and singing to herself.  The song was a Veggie Tales song, This is the Day.  She usually makes me skip over that one since it's close to the Cinderella song.  Apparently the one time she listened to it was enough to help her memorize it.

There is nothing more heart-warming than hearing your child sing praise and worship songs absentmindedly while she looks out the window.  That song is now just part of who she is.  I'm so glad God gave me that day too.  It is definitely His handiwork.