We Decked Some Halls

This weekend we were a full family.  All three girls were home so we decided to deck out for Christmas.  Because we were in Austin for Thanksgiving, our annual weekend after Thanksgiving decorating had to wait.  Honestly, it was great having three helpers this year.  Why I never realized we needed to tap into child labor is beyond me.  I don't think the tree has ever been put up so quickly before. 

Now that D and E are taller, the decorations can get put up higher.  For awhile the tree looked like Zoe did the whole thing because they were all at about the 3 foot level. 

We drank hot cocoa, listened to Christmas music, watched N break ice off the roof so he could hang his new LED lights and then we had a karaoke contest.

What?  You all don't do a karaoke contest post-decorating?  I'm proud to say I mastered a High School Musical song and am working on another one.  I actually think I do a pretty good job at being Sharpay.  I always wanted to be the mean girl in school.  That and she sings lower, so I can hit her notes easier. 

I'm waiting for the Grease version to come out.  I will totally rock those.  Maybe that could be for New Year's!

I'm a Whole, Not a Step

When you are expecting (whether through your womb or adoption), everyone tells you how rewarding, yet difficult it is to be a parent.  You nod, smile even and make some comment like "I'm sure it is!"  Yet you never really know what they mean until you're blindly wading into it.

When Zoe was a baby, I would be so tired of her every-two-hour feedings and her noisy sleep that I was sure we'd never get through another night again.  I'd get meaningful hugs as a woman whispered in my ear, "this will pass.  You'll get through it!"  I'd nod, smile even and not believe a single word she said.  Then, almost randomly it seemed, Zoe started sleeping through the night. 

As she did that, the next phase started.  The one where she knew what she wanted, but couldn't say the words.  There were moments of frustration for both of us when she just wanted something on the counter and her pointing didn't help me understand.  Then she started talking with clarity and I knew "nee-nee" meant binky.  I cannot describe how awesome it is to hear your child talk and actually communicate with you.  I felt gray hairs actually turning back to brown.  It was glorious.

As a step-parent nothing prepares you for what it's like to have children you love, children you want to impact and influence and yet you have no control over how they are raised.  You also don't go through the phases like you do with your own child.  You're thrown into pre-teen years without going through the lost teeth, the sleeping in a big girl bed, the skinned knees, the learning to ride without training wheels.  You're part of a totally different game.  It's a game where your heart plays in every inning without the benefit of having your name on the roster.

We are wading through some heavy waters right now.  As a mother my heart is burdened.  As a step-mother my mouth stays quiet to them and very continuous to God in prayer.  I want all my girls to know right from wrong.  I want them to all know that they can come to me with whatever they've done and I will lovingly accept them.  I want them to know that I will love them all forever and for always, but sometimes there are consequences for bad choices.  I want them to realize there are consequences for their choices, both good and bad.

Most importantly I want to be the mom each of them needs.  It's a fine line because two of our girls have a "real Mom" as they remind me often.  I think the hardest part is seeing, from the outside, how our girls' behavior is a consequence of someone's elses choices.  I'm powerless to stop it.  I can see the cycle and yet all I can do is love on them.  All I can do is show them, through my actions, that I love them, no matter what their choices. 

I can love on their daddy as he has to deal with this and the gray of his goatee gets a little more after each of these hiccups. 

I actually never knew how hard being a step-parent would be.  How emotionally invested you are.  How much you can love.  How little you can do.  I just pray that God shows me what He wants me to do and gives me the heart I need to have as their mom.  While society may put a "step" before my title, there is no "step" in front of my love. 

What to do in the Texas heat.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout...

...Here is my handle, here is my spout...

...When I get all steamed up hear me shout!  Tip me over and pour me out.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

She was born in the wrong state.

Turkey in Texas

If you haven't figured by now, this week will be all about Texas, cowgirls and our trip.  Mainly because I'm trying to adjust to my normal time zone and absorb the fact that while we were gone for only 7 days, we got 24 inches of snow.  That kind of math does very weird things to your psyche.  When we left we were in jackets. Now we're in snow boots, mittens, several layers of clothes and wool. 

I thought I'd share with you our Thanksgiving!  I know you've all been dying to see and read about it.  I remember as a little girl we always did two Thanksgivings.  One at one side of the family with 20+ people and a buffet style.  There wasn't a room big enough to fit us all in, so we just grabbed a plate and found a spot to eat.  The other side was smaller and we'd sit around a table and eat.  Both were very different, but equally wonderful.

Our Thanksgiving this year combines the two!  We had 12 people and sat around a table.  Aunt Mer has this beautiful table and dining room.  What made it even more gorgeous was her tablescape. 

All fall colors, place mats, formal setting and olives.  Cans and cans of olives!

This year Zoe and I offered to make the place cards.  I saw little pilgrim boats in the Pottery Barn Kids catalog.  Instead of buying I thought we could use that as our idea and make them out of felt.  It actually worked!  I love when things like that work.  We filled them with jelly beans, M&Ms and Werthers. 

Then we decided on some pictures!  This year we had four generations present.  N, Zoe, Grammy and G.G.  Plus N's younger sister lives in Austin, so we also had Amanda, H-J, Grammy and G.G.  Instead of separating them, we just combined them.  Such an awesome group of people!

We also decided to get some pictures of G.G. with two of her great-granddaughters.  I think trying to rope a wild bull is easier than trying to get a picture with two, small children.  Sometimes H-J was looking at someone else.  Sometimes Zoe was checking her cuticles...

As the photographer, I realize that when Zoe is 25 and looking at this picture she'll say, "mom, why didn't you get me to look at the camera?"  I will just smile and say, "when the cuticles call, you have to answer."

Cousins, Cannons and Tea

We are back home from Texas.  It was my first trip to the large state and I wasn't sure what to expect.  It was hot, which took a little getting used to.  It was brown since it's winter and even though it's 75 degrees, apparently grass and stuff still dies.  I think what shocked me the most was how small the trees are.  I know Oak trees aren't small, per se, but compared to a forest of pine trees that we have here in Washington, those trees look small.  Not everything is bigger in Texas!

I will tell you the love in Texas is as big as the love in Washington.  We had the awesome privilege of meeting H-J.  She's 8 months of cuteness!  She immediately loved on Zoe. 

We couldn't just kiss and play all the time, so we took a trip to The Alamo!  I know I'm going to sound like a historical tragedy, but I honestly didn't know what happened there.  Since Zoe was very anxious to get outside and chase some squirrels, I'm still not sure I know.  Something about Davy Crocket, a guy who invented Bowie knives and a battle with Mexico.  Then I saw some petunias in November and was just as distracted as Zoe was.

Until we came to a cannon!  Actually we came upon several cannons.  Obviously there was a battle here and I think it's how Texas became a state in the U. S. of A rather than Mexico.  Again I was distracted this time by the size of Zoe's guns in comparison to the little cannon.

After we had chased all the squirrels into cacti (cactuses?) and looked at all the pretty flowers, we went to the San Antonio River Walk.  If you ever get the chance to be in San Antonio, chase some squirrels at The Alamo and then do the River Walk.  It's probably one of my new favorite places.  A river goes through downtown, you can eat along the river and just enjoy the warm weather in November!  If you're feeling carefree, you can take a boat along the river. 

We were totally carefree!  We even had Aunt Dee Dee to enjoy our carefree attitude with.  You can't ask for anything more!

Since we were totally carefree, we also decided to stop by Fredericksburg.  It's the cutest, weirdest place in Texas.  It's a German town in the middle of Texas.  Instead of BBQ, you can get sauerkraut.  I'm not sure about you, but I think I'll stick with BBQ, even though I'm sure most of my German ancestors are rolling in their graves right now.  They have a ton of adorable shops, the nicest folks and tractor seats along the street to sit on. 

After all the walking and all the sightseeing, we had to make it back to our kin for some tea. 

It was one of the best vacations I've been on.  Zoe was loved on and spoiled.  We were able to love on and smooch H-J.  We had time to sit, put our feet up and reconnect with our family.  I think I can speak for all three of us when I say, we weren't ready to leave.

Howdy Y'all

                                       

Things here on the blog are going to get a bit quiet this coming week.  We are leaving on a jet plane to warm temperatures, good BBQ, great music and many quilt shops that I've never been to before.  Granted they don't know about the guilt shops yet, but I'm working on batting my eyes and looking ever so irresistable. 

On a side note, this little fact has turned me into my mother.  When I was in junior high and high school my mom had this book called The Quilter's Travel Companion.  It listed quilt stores in every town in the US with a map on how to get there.  Anytime we went anywhere, we had to stop by quilt stores.  I was horrible.  I'd complain, ask to leave and generally be put out that we had to go to another quilt store.  "Isn't all fabric the same, mom?"  Then I'd roll my eyes.

Fast forward a couple decades, I've got my Quilter's Travel Companion and I've ear-marked the stores I'd like to hit.  Because I am my mother's daughter, I'll use the same star stickers she did to denote if I'd return to that store.

I'm not sure Austin is ready for us.  Our legs haven't seen the light of day in months so I have a feeling we're going to scream "tourist."  Fortunately we have a slew of family down there that love us for who we are.  They'll likely switch our SPF 75 sunscreen out for baby oil, but hey, it's about making memories.

I hope y'all have a great Thanksgiving and are reminded of all the blessings you have in your life.  If you also get to visit a quilt store, that will make this Thanksgiving even better.