The Summer Hum-Drums

Apparently Zoe didn't get the memo about summer break.  She likes to watch Phinneas and Ferb and knows all about summer vacations, but since she can't make HUGE rollercoasters in the backyard, they leave something to be desired. 

We were sitting on the couch and she looks at me, with a total look of disgust on her face:

When is school, AWANA AND dance classes going to start again?  Because this is boring!

When I mentioned VBS and swimming lessons, she said, "I guess that will be okay." 

I wondered if she'd have the same feelings when she was 13, but since she'll be 4 forever, that's a mute point.

We're Cancelling Christmas Too!

Yesterday Zoe made this announcement at dinner:

I'm so glad that my dentist disappointment [appointment] was cancelled.  I'm also cancelling all future birthday parties because I don't want to get any older.

Just in case you needed to know, we will not be turning 5 in this house.  Nor will we be turning 34.  Apparently all birthdays are off, I'm trying to convince her to let a couple of us actually go backwards.  25 was a really great age for me.

The Family Vacation That Shall Now Be Known As StomachGate 2011

We had grand plans this month to spend a week of quality time with our people.  N was graduating and that was going to be the headlining event of the week.  In addition, Zoe had a dance recital, D graduated from elementary school, E turned 10, D got baptised and N's parents celebrated 35 years of wedded bliss.  All within 7 days!  Everyone from N's mom's side of the family would be in the same place at the same time.  It was also a family reunion.  I was totally stoked about all the picture possibilities!

When I got home two Mondays ago, this was waiting for me:

This is H-J and she's my only niece.  I love her beyond all possible reality.  She's got a personality that's bigger than she can contain.  She also totally loves Zoe, which is great because Zoe had a countdown to the minute H-J would arrive.  Her parents also stayed with us, which was fabulous.  I got to spend time with my sister Amanda and N got some XBox time in with Brian!

In honor of all the festitivies, we decided to have an open house for N in honor of his graduation.  Because I'm all about planning ahead, I decided to cook up the meat for the taco bar ahead of time.  We had about 70 people who could attend.  If you figure 1/4 pound of meat per person, that's 17.5 pounds of hamburger.  I did it in batches of 6 lbs in my wok.

It was really quite the sight.

As our people arrived, we started the whole eating out bit.  We are scattered all over town, so it was easiest to meet at restaurants.  Here are Aunt Dee Dee (from Texas), N's mom (from California), Grammy (from Texas), Bev and Micah (both live here).  We are waiting to get our grub on at Red Robin!

If you've never eaten out with us, you're totally missing out.  N has all kinds of restaurant tricks that he likes to pull out for big company.  His hand will wind up and flop around the table.  Or, if you're lucky to also have props, he can do this:

and this:

Please note that he only does this to other people's children, not his own.  Come dine with us at your own risk!

Once everyone was in town and we had satisfied our hunger, we met at the mall because they wanted to spoil our children a bit.  We went to a favorite store of the girl's and they tried on no less than 727 articles of clothing.  After about 45 minutes, this is all you saw of N.

This is his signature shopping pose.  Although it only applies to female clothing stores and NOT, I repeat NOT gaming stores.

After all this time visiting, eating, shopping, we didn't see too much of anyone else the remainder of the time.  Exactly 30 hours after arriving in the cold north, everyone contracted a gnarly, stomach virus.  I won't go into details, but I'm positive they only saw the inside of a toilet for the better part of 12 hours.

Hence StomachGate 2011 was born. 

Instead of visiting and being concerned, we stayed away.  We still had a recital, baptism and graduation to get through.  Not to mention the celebration of these two, beautiful people:

We decided to make them a scrapbook of our family and tell them how loved and appreciated they are.  35 years is a long time, actually longer than I've been on this earth.  See how happy?  Not only are they celebrating their marriage, but they are virus free at this point.  If those two things aren't something smile about, then I'm not sure what is.

On Sunday Grandpa got to baptize D at church.  Everyone except Grammy made it because she was still weak post StomachGate.  D did a great job!  It was a beautiful time and I'm so proud of her.  Exactly 5 minutes after the service was over, she ran through the church and was out of commission the remainder of the time.  StomachGate shows no prejudice.

Monday, minus everyone except Grammy, Aunt Mer, N's parents, my mom, Zoe and I, we made it to graduation.  The entire time Zoe kept asking me where daddy's name in the program was.  When I showed her, it also listed his middle initial.  The entire time, "when is Daddy A. going to come on stage?" 

Afterward she ran to him, gave him a BIG hug and told him she was so proud of him.  Daddy A. has a BIG piece of her heart.

We spent a total of 12 hours with the people who traveled 2,500+ miles to see us.  I'm sure it was a lovely trip for them!

Tuesday night Zoe had a slumber party with Grandma Kathy so N and I could have a night to just sleep.  That's when a funny thing happened.  StomachGate 2011 hit our house!  Looks like the family left a little something for us.

As N says, "never again will we celebrate anything!" 

I'm a Cross Between Kip Dynamite and Dudley the Wild Hog

I own an iPhone.  I'm also one of those people that LOVES my iPhone.  Granted, I'm not going to take it out and showcase it or knock your phone.  I LOVE mine.  More than you should love an inanimate object!  It's my calendar, my music, my eReader, my game center and my source for news.  I think that Steve Jobs fellow is a genius and akin to a drug dealer.  Simply because I love my Apple and I need my Apple!

Now that we've established my love for all things Apple, I'd like to tell you a sad tale.  Last week I was at church helping my mom prepare for a funeral.  Our gym floor is a rubberized floor.  It looks like "wood" but it feels like the surface of a track or a gymnastics floor.  That is to say it's soft and flat.  I bent down to pick up something off the floor, when I must've leaned too far over and my cherished iPhone fell out of my purse and did this slow-motion free-fall onto the gym floor.  It landed face down.  My protector didn't pop off, so I didn't think anything of it. 

Until I looked at it.  It was like a windshield getting hit with a rock at 50 mph.  That is also similar to the feeling I got in the pit of my stomach. 

I went to the Apple store with my tale of woe and the Genius bar didn't have an openings.  The sales guy who was helping me was very condescending and rude.  I'm sure he thought I was making up my story and he was all powerful Oz. 

I made an appointment for the next day with the Genius guy, not very hopeful that I could get it replaced.

The next day I went in and met Jason the Genius.  He gave me the lecture that it's not covered under warranty because it was an accident.  That rock feeling to my stomach returned.

Then he said, "but."  That's one of my favorite and least favorite words in the English language!  He offered to replace it because it was the first time that had happened.  I got a new phone, for free.

I could've hugged Jason the Genius, but I'm pretty sure he'd freak out a little bit.  I almost walked out of that store and pulled a Dudley!

Maybe next time.  I do love technology and Apple.

We're A Few Bikes Short Of Being A Gang

Sunday was a big day at our house.  It was not only church, but the first daddy-daughter ride...ever!  D finally convinced her mom she could ride daddy's bike.  She spent at least 90 minutes that morning primping.  She had perfect bike make-up, the perfect biker outfit and a pink bandana.

After church, she got to ride with daddy home.  Look at those smiles.  I'm positive daddy did just as much primping for the big ride!

Getting ready to take off.

Here they go!

While on the road.  I'm positive she smiled so much and so big that she got bugs in her teeth.

She cannot wait for the next ride.  Daddy complimented her on doing really well.  He's ready to take her again.

Not to be outdone, a certain 4 year old said, "me next!  Me next!"  Of course Daddy can't say no to his girls when they ask like that.

We could hear her giggle echo off the houses in the neighborhood. 

I think it's safe to say, we're likely to be buying two more bikes in the future.

When The Sun Comes Out, We Sweat

This weekend was gorgeous.  It seems that La Nina or whatever her name is has made for an unseasonably cool spring.  So cool in fact that we've had more rain than our rivers can handle.  We've had flood warnings for much of the last couple months.  I've been battling slugs like no other this year.  I've gone through one container of Morton's salt already and my marigolds were still lost. 

When we saw the forcast for the weekend and it was just yellow circles with no rain, clouds or lightening bolts!  We ordered yards of bark, borrowed a truck and went to work. 

The pile-o-bark was a bit overwhelming, but smelled heavenly.

This picture doesn't really do it justice.  It was almost taller than Zoe.

Here's the side of our house that requires the most work.  It's a huge bed that is edged with weeds.  Technically our property doesn't extend beyond the fence.  So all that green you see that "looks" like grass is actually weeds that have grown in so much the HOA just mows them now.  This side of our house needs constant weeding and is really the japanese clover in my side.

D was with us this weekend and offered to help, bless her heart.  I moved the bark, she spread it out and N took pictures!  In his defense, he offered to help, but I told him I had to work on my guns.

Now look at the bed.  Isn't it so pretty?  It's also been heavily sprayed with weed killer.  The super concentrated kind that kills all vegetation for a year.  I'll tell you, that stuff is my new BFF.

What do you do after you take care of the pile-o-bark?  You do back bends against the wall.  Duh!

You also have a little girl who wants to help, so she takes the empty wheelbarrow up and down the sidewalk so she can help too.

Then you rehydrate, take a minute for some lunch and then you wash the motorcycle.

You jump in the bubbles, clean the pipes and get all wet and soggy.

Because tomorrow, that shiny, gorgeous bike is going to be your ride. 

Mash-ups

Zoe's new thing, that she learned on TV, is to do mash-ups with words.  For example:

Awesome + bodacious = awescious

She thinks it's hilarious to make up her own words.  Last night we were getting ready for bed and she was laying in bed with daddy and Toby waiting for me.  They were playing.  Zoe grabbed Toby's paw.  She's always grabbing him and he's so fabulous with her.  I think she could jump on him and he'd just lay there.  N and I are afraid it might scare Toby and he'll nip at her.  N told her to stop grabbing Toby's paw because he might bite her.

At that moment, Toby licked her.

Her newest mash-up is:

bites + licks = b*tches.

She has absolutely no clue that's a bad word and she kept saying it over and over.  N and I were cracking up because her mash-up actually is a word, but not one we say.

N politely told her, through giggles, she should stick with bites and licks!