A Picture is Worth A Thousand Prayers

This is a picture of the Wenatchee Complex Fire. 

Kindergarten is HARD

With the start of school comes a change in routine.  Zoe has a notebook that includes all the things she needs to keep at home and things that need to come right back each day.  It's a great system that allows the teacher and I to communicate.  Because I have type-A organizational issues, I hug this book at least once a day.

I've got to be honest, I'm still getting used to this every.single.day routine.  I love it, but sometimes it's 8:45 at night and I'm just looking in the notebook for the first time, saying a quick prayer of, "please don't let there be homework or letter practicing because we're in full-on, total nuclear meltdown and if I make her practice the letter 's' for any length of time, one of us will not see morning." 

Zoe is also developing some new routines as well.  This is the morning conversation every.single.day:

Zoe:  Is today a school day?

Yes it is!

[throws her head back in disgust] DOGGONIT!

I'm really looking forward to 1st grade and going all.day.long.every.single.day!

Fire

I read an article a week ago that after a storm, there were 110 wildfires in Washington state.  Yesterday the article was updated to 230 wildfires in the state.  Most of them are happening in central Washington, not near where we are.

This weekend while I was driving to Umatilla, I could see smoke the closer I got to Ritzville.  One of the major fires is near Grand Coulee Dam, a place that I used to visit often as a child.  From I-90, it's only a short distance to the north.  Here is a picture of the skyline that I took with my phone, so imagine the colors a bit more vibrant. 

That middle section the looks like a gray dust cloud is the smoke.  In real life it's closer to black and limiting visability.

As I saw this, my heart broke for all those people who have to evactuate, send their loved one to fight the fire, or are fighting the fire!  So much devastation and loss.

It made me so grateful that our struggles and hurdles during this season aren't the kind that will bring death.  Some of you may know, but we are going through some legal challenges right now.  There are many times where we feel consumed.  Many times in the past my initial response is to evacuate, get out of the situation and protect myself from ever being in it again!  This battle we're in is something that both N and I feel we need to fight.  Instead of this being easy, it's become the opposite - it's become consuming. 

The song that keeps playing in my head is Refiner's Fire, which I think is ironic with what's going on in nature right now.  God can use some very large object lessons to get my attention.  In the song it says:

my heart's one desire is to be holy 

God doesn't want me to make good choices, He wants me to make godly choices.

God doesn't want me to be a good person, He wants me to be a godly person.

God doesn't want me to be a good wife, He wants me to be a godly wife.

God doesn't want me to be a good mom, He wants me to be a godly mom.

I am in the midst of the fire.  It's consuming.  It's uncomfortable.  Yet, I feel as though God is molding both N and me in ways only He could've planned. 

While I pray that the fires are contained and lives spared, the smoke and the ash that I see is a reminder that God is answering my prayer.  He is showing me what it is to be holy and godly.  He's getting rid of my comfort, my pride, me.  

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. (Jer. 29:13)

The 7 Year Itch

This weekend marked our 7th anniversary. We spent the weekend away in Umatilla sans kiddos. We had grand plans to attend a roller derby. Then Saturday came, we ate large quantities of food at Texas Roadhouse and we couldn’t fathom anything else for the evening except going home and putting on pants with elastic waist bands. Truthfully, I can’t imagine a better way to celebrate 7 years than with great steak and elastic waist pants.

For some reason our anniversary is the time of most reflection for me. When I look back on our 7 years, I’m most proud of our marriage. I went into our marriage with the idea of a fairytale. N entered our marriage with the idea of a prison sentence. Somehow, over these 7 years we’ve both let go of our expectations and come together as a couple. I can tell you, without any doubt that is only because of God’s grace, mercy and steadfast faithfulness. Our marriage is a daily miracle that God has blessed me with.

This last year we’ve faced challenges that are the hardest we’ve ever encountered. That is saying something because I had that fairytale concept engraved in my head for a long time. With every moment of difficulty that has come, we have our moments where we lose sight of the goal, but each time we humbly come together, admit we mess things up and give it to God. If I was going to define this last year with any one thing it would be that we both just bow before God, admit we’re human and give ourselves completely to Him both as individuals and in our marriage. For the first time, our spiritual foundation is strong. As a result, we’re more at peace, despite the unrest happening in our lives.

I’m grateful for N and his sacrifices for our family. He is my hero in every way. His love for God, for me and for our family is unending and unconditional. I am so glad that God chose Him to be my partner in this life (and my personal vermin remover). He continues to make me laugh and think of things differently. He is patient and compassionate. He is my soul mate.

N - Thank you for sharing your life with me. These last 7 years have been a bumpy ride, but there is no one else I’d rather be with. Thank you for:

praying with me and for me because I need that the most,
holding my hand when I need reassurance,
showing me affection when I need to be loved,
holding me accountable when I need to be reminded that it’s not all about me,
telling me your thoughts when I know it’s hard to do,
loving me unconditionally in spite of my type-A personally, and
viewing your future with me in it.

I am so grateful that you still like me enough to continue on this ride. You are my knight in shining armor. Thank you for completing my fairytale.

We're Going Private

Because of the information that I put on this blog and that it mainly includes the kiddos, I'm moving this to a private blog starting Monday, September 17th. 

That means that in order to read this blog you must be on the approved list.  If you want to have access to this, I'd love to give it to you.  Just leave the e-mail address you'd like to use as your login in the comments (or feel free to e-mail me or Facebook me) and I'll add you to my approved list.  All comments are moderated prior to them being on this site, so I will not be publishing any comments that include your e-mail.  Don't worry, you won't have a published e-mail address for the other 2 people that read this blog!

See you on the other side!

We Didn't Labor At All

Our Labor Day weekend consisted of some quilting, a couple errands and being at home!  We needed time together as a family to regroup.  N got out his computer to play his games, my mom and I got out our sewing machines to quilt and Zoe got out her Barbies, craft projects, her fabric, her stuffed animals, several board games and snacks.  She was prepared for a long winter!

About 18 months ago I did a few quilts.  We were holed up at home because of winter and I massed produced.  One of them was a cute owl quilt from Sandy Gervais's Frolic line.  It was perfect for Zoe. 

Fast forward 18 months and I actually kinda forgot that I did it.  My mom has been trying some new tricks with her long-arm quilting and got all fancy on Zoe's wall hanging.  She surprised me this weekend with having it done so I could bind it and Zoe could have a quilt from her mom.

What you can't see in this cell picture is all the quilt designs.  In the plain areas are flowers, in the flowers and circle patterns are circle patterns that accentuate them, and in the tree are leafy-looking stitches.  I even made a special binding for it that included some of the left over fabrics.  It finished it in a cute, child-like way.  I absolutely love it. 

Most importantly, so does Zoe.  It's technically a wall-hanging, but she's going to use it as a blanket.  She couldn't stop hugging me and telling me that she LOVES it.

I love weekends where we grow together as a family and I can make quilts for the people I love.

Small Joys of the Week 7

This week has been equally stressful and exciting.  We've been on a rollercoaster of emotion this week and we are ready for a long weekend!

* Birthdays - today is N's mom's birthday.  She's 39ish and as beautiful as ever.  We feel fortunate that we can celebrate her from a distance today.  Happy birthday mom!  We love you more today than yesterday.  Sending you large quantities of hugs, kisses and off-key singing!

* Kindergarten!  We have officially entered the world of kindergarten and I'm not entirely sure where the time has gone.  Yet, one the other hand, there are days where it feels like she's 16.  Because we've done preschool and pre-kindergarten, this is old hat to Zoe.  The only things that makes it feel different are:  she gets her own desk to hold her own supplies AND it's everyday.  The first makes her feel uber special.  Especially since her group of 4 desks includes three of her favorite people in class.  I have a feeling there could be some "talking to your neighbor" issues.

The second makes her lose sleep.  For the last few nights she's been up almost every hour on the hour because she knows what she's going to wear to school, she knows what snack she wants to take, she wonders what they'll do that day, do you think they'll get to play in the kitchen, do you think they'll get play time outside, do you think her sparkly shoes would match her purple dress?  It's amazing what goes through a kindergartner's head at midnight.  It's not what's going through my head, I can tell you that! 

I'm hoping we'll start to get into a routine and all her inner, midnight dialogue will wear her out and we can get some sleep!

*  Final Exams!  This week N had a big phase exam.  Due to some internal meetings at work, he had some issues with getting his last minute things completed before his test yesterday.  If he didn't get those done, he couldn't take his test.  If he didn't get to take his test before August 31st, he could be reprimanded or fired.  Nothing like a little pressure to make a stressful situation more stressful. 

I'm pleased to report that not only did N pass his exams (there are 3), he passed them with flying colors.  When I got the call that he passed, we both just felt a HUGE weight lifted off our shoulders.  We both knew he would do great, but it's another thing to have it over.  He's onto the next phase of the program.  Only 16 more months left of this.  Woo-hoo!

*  Fathers - N has had a stressful couple weeks in preparing for his test.  These are always stressful times.  In the midst of it all, he's had to handle some other things with all our girls.  He's been comforting, encouraging, excited, supportive and most importantly loving.  I've watched him interact with all the girls this week and show them each his support and interest.  I love that he can put aside his stress or his week and focus on the girls.  It's one of the things that made me fall in love with him 8 years ago and I love seeing the dad he is to the girls now.  He's patient and so full of love. 

*  Pilates - I was able to go yesterday.  We spent 20 minutes doing squats.  I can barely get off the toilet.  For some reason, I'm happy about that.

Have a great Labor Day weekend!